Mistakes
by lobsters-4eva
Summary: -Final Chapter is Up-Rated R....Ross has made a HUGE mistake and makes the worst possible decision about how to deal with it...Please R&R if you liked it
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Characters in this fic  
  
The alarm clock started beeping, rousing Rachel out of her deep slumber, she sighed in frustration, anything for another hour of sleep but she knew that wasn't going to happen because in about 2 minutes, there was going to be a 7 year old and a 3 year old came barrelling through the bed and jump on top of her.  
  
She opened her eyes warily, and felt across to the other side of the bed, half expecting to find Ross's still sleeping form lying there and wanting a good morning hug but instead all she felt was the cold sheets. A feeling that had become sort of familiar to her lately.  
  
She sat up quickly and noticed a note on the side table 'Gone to work already, be home at about 8, Ross'  
  
This had been happening a lot for the past few weeks, Ross leaves early, gets home late. Then when he gets home, he's so tired from working all day, he just goes straight to bed with only a few words being said to his long suffering wife. It was getting beyond a joke  
  
Her thoughts were interrupted as Emma came barrelling into the room and jumped on the bed, followed by a sleepy looking Josh who paused at the end of the bed, his eyes drooping.  
  
"Morning Mommy" said Emma happily "Where's my Daddy?"  
  
"He's gone to work already honey" said Rachel, pulling Josh, into her arms "Hey Spunky Boy"  
  
"But he promised that he'd take me to school today" said Emma "How will he do that if he's at work already?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "But I can take you to school instead. Is that all right?"  
  
"Well....I guess" said Emma "Can I call Daddy at his office and say Good Morning to him?"  
  
"After your shower and breakfast you can" said Rachel, climbing out of the bed, still carrying Josh who was still half asleep, sucking on his thumb. "Wake up Sweetie, You're going to Day Care today"  
  
"I can't wait for school today" said Emma "We're joining up with Jamie's grade so that means I get to play with my cousin"  
  
Jamie was Monica and Chandler's little boy who was a year younger then Emma.  
  
"Sweetie, You play with Jamie everyday after school" said Rachel "Why is today so special?"  
  
"I don't know. It just is" said Emma "I'll get Josh some juice while you get my shower ready ok?"  
  
Rachel laughed, Emma was constantly mothering over her brother, wanting to be the girl of the house. She was grown up beyond her 7 years "Ok Honey. Be careful with the juice box ok? No spills"  
  
"I know," said Emma, dragging Josh by the hand into the kitchen, leaving Rachel by herself in the bedroom.  
  
She sat down on the messed up bed, gathering her thoughts. Ross had been so distant lately, she knew he was busy at work, being just promoted to head of the department but it seemed as though he didn't have any time for his family anymore. He left before the kids were up, and was home after they went to bed. Emma communicated with her Dad over the phone. Rachel missed him, they hardly ever really talked anymore and they hadn't had a real deep and meaningful conversation for months.  
  
"Mommmmmmy" came Emma's scream from the kitchen "I dropped the carton"  
  
"How did I know," muttered Rachel, getting up and heading into the kitchen. Just another day in the Geller household, starting off with a mess in the kitchen  
  
(Half an hour later- Ross's Office)  
  
Ross was sitting at his desk, grading papers when his phone rang.  
  
"Hello, Ross Geller speaking" he answered.  
  
"Hi" said Rachel "How are you?"  
  
"I'm fine thanks," said Ross "Is there something wrong with one of the kids?"  
  
"No. Is that the only reason I'm allowed to call you at work?" replied Rachel "I just wanted to say Hi"  
  
"Well Hi," said Ross "Listen, I'm a little busy here.."  
  
"Oh, I'm so sorry," said Rachel sarcastically "Well can you find some time in your busy schedule to say Hi to your daughter?"  
  
"Of course I can," said Ross "Put her on"  
  
Rachel handed the phone to Emma "Hi Daddy"  
  
"Hi Angel" said Ross "How are you this morning?"  
  
"Good but Daddy, you said you'd take me to school today" said Emma "Are you coming home now to take me?"  
  
"I can't Honey, I'm really busy here. I've got lots and lots of work to do," said Ross "Mommy can take you to school can't she?"  
  
"Yes but I just wanted you too plus you promised me" said Emma "It doesn't matter"  
  
"I'm sorry sweetie," said Ross "Next time ok. Have a good day today Princess and I'll come in to kiss you goodnight when I get home ok?"  
  
"Ok, love you Daddy," said Emma, "Here's a kiss for you"  
  
She kissed the receiver, which made Ross smile.  
  
"I love you more," said Ross "Bye Honey"  
  
He was about to hang the phone up when Emma said, "Wait, Mommy wants to talk to you"  
  
Ross sighed, "Ok, Thanks"  
  
"Are you really going to be home that late tonight?" asked Rachel, her voice flat  
  
"I really am" said Ross "I've got classes all day then a ton more marking to do"  
  
"How can you have that much work to do, that you have to be at work from 7am till 8pm? It's ridiculous Ross," said Rachel "Can't you do your marking at home?"  
  
"Why would I do that?" asked Ross "Carry it all home when I could d it right here?"  
  
"I don't know. Maybe so you could spend some time with your family? Have dinner with us for a change. Be there to tuck Emma and Joshua in," said Rachel "I miss you lately"  
  
"I'm sorry but I've got to do what I've got to do," said Ross "This is my job"  
  
"Yeah I realize that," said Rachel "But I would like to actually talk to you for a change, have a nice conversation with you when you get home. I don't even feel like you are actually here half the time when you're home. It's like I'm speaking to a brick wall"  
  
"Thanks" said Ross "You know I'm doing what I'm doing so you can have everything"  
  
"There are other things more important then having everything," said Rachel "I would rather have you home, paying attention to me then have 'everything'"  
  
"Is that really how you feel Rach?" asked Ross "I've gotta go now. Tell Emma that I promise I'll take her to school tomorrow"  
  
He had noticed his colleague Amanda standing in the doorway, watching him.  
  
"Don't make promises you can't keep," said Rachel "Someone always ends up getting hurt"  
  
"I can keep a promise" said Ross "Please tell her what I said ok? I'll see you when I get home"  
  
"Sure" said Rachel, hanging up the phone in his ear.  
  
Ross sat there with the phone in his hand for a second, before finally hanging it up.  
  
"Wife troubles?" asked Amanda, as she came and sat on the edge of his desk.  
  
"I suppose you could say that," said Ross "Nothing that can't be fixed"  
  
"Yeah, Just don't have a wife," said Amanda jokingly  
  
Ross laughed "As if. I do love my wife you know"  
  
"We'll see," said Amanda, straightening his tie  
  
(Geller Apartment)  
  
"Why are you sad Mommy?" asked Emma after Rachel hung up the phone "Did Daddy upset you?"  
  
"No, I'm fine," said Rachel "Where's your brother?'  
  
"I think he's in the bathroom," said Emma "He was drawing on the cabinet with your lipstick"  
  
"WHAT?" exclaimed Rachel, running into the bathroom "Tell me again why we have children?"  
  
"Coz we are so cute," said Emma, following her into the bathroom.  
  
(Monica and Chandler's Apartment)  
  
Rachel has just dropped Emma at school and was walking slowly towards Monica and Chandler's front door, She was holding on tightly to Joshua who was walking even slower, stopping to look at every little thing in the hallway even though he came up here just about every day  
  
Rachel had just reached the door when it was flung open in front of her and Monica rushed out, with their new baby Taylah in a sling across her chest.  
  
"Hey" said Monica in surprise "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing much" said Rachel "Are you going somewhere?"  
  
"Doctors Appointment" said Monica "Six week check up"  
  
"Oh" said Rachel, looking at the floor "I'll let you go then"  
  
"Is something wrong?" asked Monica  
  
"Well..." Said Rachel, slowly, her voice cracking "It's just Ross, and stuff...."  
  
"Come here Sweetie," said Monica, putting her arms out and drawing Rachel into them where she burst into tears.  
  
Monica led her inside where she put Taylah in her bouncer and sat Rachel on the couch  
  
"Talk to me," said Monica "What's my loser brother done now?"  
  
"You don't want to know," said Rachel "But I'm going to tell you anyway. I don't know what's going on, He's becoming more and more distant, he works all day, morning until night and then when he does come home, he has no time for me whatsoever. He's never there to help me with the kids, I feel like I may as well be a single mom"  
  
"He's working hard Rach," said Monica "Promotions take up a lot of time"  
  
"But is it so necessary for him to be working 9 hour days? He's a professor not a surgeon or something" said Rachel, wiping her eyes "I know I should be happy that he's got this promotion and everything but when it's keeping him away from me and the kids, how can I be happy?"  
  
"I don't know," said Monica "I'm sorry Sweetie"  
  
"Has he been talking to Chandler or Joey about anything?" asked Rachel "Is it something I've done?"  
  
"I honestly don't know," said Monica "Chandler hasn't said anything to me about Ross"  
  
"Do you think he's having an affair?" asked Rachel softly  
  
"What? God no Rachel" said Monica "Don't even go there, you know how much Ross loves you, there is no way that he would do anything like that, especially after last time"  
  
"I'd nearly forgotten about that," said Rachel "That was like 12 years ago or something"  
  
"Time flies" said Monica "Do not even let those thoughts enter your mind, I know my brother, he loves you and he loves his children, he's not about to do anything to jeopardise that"  
  
(Cut to Ross' Office)  
  
Ross was sitting at his desk, engaging in a bit of harmless flirting with Amanda who was young and beautiful. He knew that he shouldn't be doing it but it was just some harmless fun to pass some time. She knew that he was married and wasn't interested in anything else.  
  
One of his bosses entered the office, Amanda jumped off the edge of the desk  
  
"Professor Williams" said Ross "How are you?"  
  
"Fine" replied Professor Williams "Are you two coming to the party tonight?"  
  
"Party?" asked Ross blankly "Oh for Mike Oliver, I thought that was next week"  
  
"No, tonight" said Professor Williams, "Will we be seeing you there?"  
  
"Definitely" said Amanda "We'll be there"  
  
"Great" said PW, leaving the room  
  
"I really shouldn't" said Ross "Rachel's already pis**d off at me, if I get home any later then 8 tonight, I think she will rip my head off"  
  
"Oh come on" said Amanda "A few drinks and you'll be home by 10pm, just tell her you were still working"  
  
"I don't have to lie to her" said Ross "She does let me off the chain sometimes but I just think I should go home and make it up to her, I haven't been much of a good husband lately"  
  
"You're talking about being a good husband, yet you've just been sitting here, flirting with me?" said Amanda "What's with that?"  
  
"You know I'm just joking when we do that," said Ross "Friend Flirting"  
  
"Right" said Amanda "Friend Flirting it is. But no excuses, you're going to Mike's gathering tonight"  
  
"I guess I can make an appearance," said Ross "But if I don't show up to work tomorrow, you'll know it's because Rachel's killed me"  
  
(Late afternoon- about 6pm)  
  
Rachel arrived home, lugging the groceries in one arm and a sleeping Joshua in the other, Emma was trailing behind her singing 'Old McDonald'  
  
She'd been working all afternoon and then picked up a grumpy Josh from Day care and Emma from after school care and was exhausted as usual.  
  
"God" said Rachel, dumping the groceries on the counter and laying Josh on the couch "My arms are going to fall off"  
  
"Is daddy home?" asked Emma  
  
"You know he always works late Honey," said Rachel "But he told me to tell you that he promises to take you to school tomorrow"  
  
"Does daddy still love you Mommy?" asked Emma "Does he still love me and Josh?"  
  
"Of course he does Sweetie," said Rachel "Why would you even think that your Dad doesn't love you?"  
  
"Because he never stays at home with us anymore" said Emma "He never tucks me in or reads me a story before bed anymore"  
  
Rachel put her arms out for Emma and she wrapped herself around Rachel "There is nothing that could ever happen, that could stop your Dad loving you, nothing"  
  
"Promise?" asked Emma  
  
"Have I ever broken a promise to my Princess?" asked Rachel  
  
"Never" said Emma  
  
"Well there you go" said Rachel "Why don't you go and watch a video while I make dinner, what do you want?"  
  
"Spaghetti.no wait, Meatballs, spaghetti and Mashed potatoes. Together" said Emma "That's what I want"  
  
Rachel pulled a disgusted face, what a combination but if that's what Emma wanted, that's what Emma gets "That's what we're having then"  
  
"Yay" said Emma, running into the lounge room and jumping on the couch, narrowly missing her brother's head.  
  
(Ross's Work - One of the Lounge's)  
  
There was a group of about 45 various people in the room, all workmates of Ross' when he rocked up at about 8pm. There was music coming from a stereo in the corner and a table covered in all sorts of Alcohol, beer's and spirits. People were also passing trays of food around.  
  
Amanda spotted him from the either side of the room and came over immediately, it was no secret to everyone except Ross that she fancied him, wife or no wife she wanted him.  
  
She grabbed a beer of the table and put it into his hand "Finally made it?"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "I was just marking the mid terms"  
  
"Fun" said Amanda "Well I'm glad you made it already"  
  
"I'm only staying for a bit," said Ross, taking swigs of his beer "Rachel will cut my balls off if I don't get home soon"  
  
"Well we can't have that can we?" asked Amanda "After all, they are a zone for pleasure"  
  
Ross laughed nervously. He was getting a certain vibe from Amanda; she was standing rather close to him and staring into his eyes intently.  
  
"Nice to see you Ross" said Mike Oliver, the guest of honour, shaking his hand  
  
"Great to see you Mike" said Ross "Congratulations on the promotion"  
  
'Thanks, Thanks" said Mike. He put another beer into Ross' other hand and walked off" Enjoy"  
  
"What are you drinking?" Ross asked Amanda, who was now a little unsteady  
  
"Ahh, Bourbon and Coke" said Amanda "And it's gone straight to my head"  
  
"Young women and Alcohol" said Ross, shaking his head "Makes you do all sorts of things"  
  
"I'm not so young," said Amanda "I'm 27"  
  
"That's a whole 10 years younger then me," said Ross "I feel old"  
  
"You're not old," said Amanda, touching his arm "You know what they say, Older men are the best lovers"  
  
"So I've heard," said Ross, inching away.  
  
He looked around for the alcohol table, having already finished his second beer.  
  
"I'm just going to grab another beer," he said, nodding towards the table.  
  
"I'll grab it for you" said Amanda "I'm gonna get another bourbon anyways"  
  
"Thanks" said Ross.  
  
He watched Amanda walking off; He saw her standing at the table, swaying slightly as she poured herself a drink.  
  
His attention was diverted as he began a conversation with another professor.  
  
Amanda returned with the drinks, interrupting Ross's conversation  
  
"Here you go," she said, nudging his arm and handing him the drink  
  
"What is it?" asked Ross, looking into the glass. It wasn't beer.  
  
"Oh I couldn't see any beers so I got you Jack Daniels and Coke" said Amanda "That's ok isn't it?"  
  
"Sure" said Ross "Smells a little strong though"  
  
"I only put a dash in," said Amanda "You can handle it"  
  
"Are you trying to get me drunk?' joked Ross  
  
"Yeah" said Amanda, with a smile  
  
Ross took a sip of his drink "Whew, how do you drink this?"  
  
"Used to it I guess," said Amanda "How did your class go on the midterms?"  
  
Ross snorted, "Highest was a C"  
  
"No" said Amanda "Really?"  
  
"Serious" said Ross "It would be a total waste of time for some of them to come back next term"  
  
"I'm surprised," said Amanda "I thought they'd be getting A's with you for a teacher"  
  
"Hmm" said Ross, finishing his drink "Well, I think I'm done"  
  
"What?" said Amanda "You've only been here for half an hour"  
  
"Yeah, I've had my 4 drinks and I'm pretty sure that's 4 more then I should have had" said Ross "That Jack Daniels rocked my boat a little bit"  
  
"Are you intoxicated?" teased Amanda "After 4 drinks?"  
  
"Hey" said Ross "Those were strong beers"  
  
"I'm joking," said Amanda "But before you go, I wanted to ask you a question about one of the midterms one of my students handed in, he's written some pretty strange stuff"  
  
"Like what?" asked Ross  
  
"I can't explain it," said Amanda, "I'll show you, it's in my office"  
  
Ross paused for a second; he knew he should be getting home but if it was something work related then. "Quickly then" said Ross.  
  
They waded through the groups, standing around the room. Amanda grabbed 2 more beers as they went passed the table and handed one to Ross  
  
"I've had enough," said Ross, going to put it back on the table  
  
"Nonsense" said Amanda "One more won't hurt you"  
  
Ross sighed "You're right, I haven't had a drink for awhile before tonight so.."  
  
"That's the spirit," said Amanda, with a laugh "God, I don't even know where my office is when it's after hours"  
  
They were walking the halls towards Amanda's office, they were deserted as everyone had either gone home, or were in the lounge  
  
"Here" said Amanda, unlocking the door  
  
They went into her office, where Ross sat down on the mini couch. Amanda was rifling through her desk drawers, pretending to look for the paper.  
  
She just wanted to get Ross alone, so she could make her move. She knew he was a little drunk so he might respond to her advances. She had wanted to get into his pants for awhile now, even though she was well aware he had a wife and kids.  
  
"I can't find it," said Amanda "I put it aside somewhere and now I can't find it"  
  
Ross was sitting on the couch, drinking his drink. He was beginning to get a headache, he knew that 4 drinks were enough for him but he had thought 'What the hell' and was now regretting it.  
  
"Here it is" said Amanda, triumphantly  
  
She came and sat on the couch next to him, handing him the paper.  
  
Ross skimmed over the words "This is fine Amanda"  
  
"Really? You don't think what he's written is a little strange?" asked Amanda, leaning over. Her boobs were nearly falling out of her top, which Ross was aware of, he kept his gaze focussed on the sheets of paper  
  
"No" said Ross "It looks fine to me"  
  
"Well, I thought I'd let someone who knows more then me check it out" said Amanda "You are the smartest professor after all"  
  
"Come on now," said Ross "Stop raining praise on me"  
  
"It's true," said Amanda, touching his arm again "You've taught me some much since I started here, made me so comfortable, I don't think I would have survived my first week if it weren't for"  
  
"I'm glad I helped you then" said Ross, taking the last sip of his drink, grimacing as it burnt his throat on the way down.  
  
"You look a little strange," said Amanda "One too many drinks?"  
  
"Probably" said Ross "Rachel's going to kill me if I go home drunk"  
  
"Do you always let your wife rule your life?" asked Amanda  
  
"She doesn't" said Ross, defensively "She's just a little.."  
  
"A little what?" asked Amanda "Bitchy, annoying?"  
  
"No" said Ross "She's not a bitch. Come on, I love my wife"  
  
"Do you?" asked Amanda "Are you sure about that? Because I'm getting a certain vibe that you'd rather be doing something else then talking to me"  
  
"Like what?" asked Ross "What vibe are you getting?"  
  
"This" said Amanda, She leant over and kissed his lips passionately, worming her tongue into his mouth.  
  
Ross pulled back in surprise "What was that?"  
  
"You didn't enjoy that?" asked Amanda  
  
Something took control of Ross's brain "Maybe but..."  
  
"No buts about it" said Amanda "I've wanted to do that for ages now.. And I'm going to do it again"  
  
Ross began to protest weakly but Amanda just shoved her lips onto his, pressing his body down on the couch.  
  
Ross didn't know what he was doing, but it definitely wasn't pushing her away. His thoughts were all jumbled and he wasn't thinking of his wife and he began to kiss her back.  
  
They lay back on the couch, Amanda's body on top of Ross's.  
  
Amanda was very pleased with herself; She had succeeded in getting what she wanted.  
(Geller Apartment)  
  
Rachel was lying on the couch, watching 'Runaway Bride' which was on cable.  
  
She looked at her watch and saw it was 9pm and Ross still wasn't home.  
  
Emma had gone to bed upset because Rachel had snapped at her because she was p****d off at Ross so now Rachel felt bad.  
  
She got up and walked into Emma's room, She could hear little sobs coming from her bed and her heart broke. She went and lay next to Emma, and stroked her face  
  
"I'm sorry Baby," said Rachel softly "I didn't mean to yell at you"  
  
Emma turned around "Are you sad Mommy?"  
  
"A little" admitted Rachel  
  
"Why?" asked Emma "Is it because Daddy isn't home yet?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "Mommy just needs a good nights sleep and a long chat with Daddy tomorrow"  
  
"Daddy does love you, you know," said Emma "You said this afternoon that I could do nothing to stop him loving me but I know he loves you too"  
  
Rachel smiled "I know he loves me too"  
  
"I know a lot of things," said Emma  
  
"You're very smart for a 7 year old" said Rachel "Very wise too"  
  
"What's wise?" asked Emma  
  
"Don't worry" said Rachel "Are you going to sleep now?"  
  
"Yeah" said Emma "I love you Mommy"  
  
"I love you too Princess" said Rachel, kissing her cheek "Sweet Dreams"  
  
Rachel climbed off the bed and went and fixed Josh's blankets up before leaving the room, shutting the door behind her.  
  
She was so angry with Ross, he had said he'd be home at 8 and here it was, 9pm and still not home without even a phone call.  
  
Rachel went in to their bedroom and lay down on the bed, still clothed.  
  
She was going to have it out with him when he got home, She couldn't put up with it anymore, She was sad and lonely and was going to make sure that he knew that and that if things don't change, that he was going to get a rude awakening when he comes home one night, and finds her and the kids gone.  
  
She could feel tears brimming in her eyes so she shut them tightly, willing herself to fall asleep but knowing that it wasn't going to happen until she knew he was home.  
  
(Geller Apartment- Later on)  
  
Ross arrived home at about 10:30pm and snuck in the front door, expecting Rachel to be waiting on the couch for him but the lights were all off, the apartment silent.  
  
He went in the kitchen and saw a plate of dinner sitting on the stove, Rachel had obviously prepared it for him and it was now hard and cold from sitting out for a few hours.  
  
"Shit" he muttered to himself. He knew there was going to be all hell to pay when he spoke to Rachel, he'd gotten so caught up with Amanda and he'd forgotten to even call. Guilt washed over him as the events of the evening came back into his head.  
  
He was in the middle of the dirty deed with Amanda when he suddenly realised what the hell he was doing. Rachel's face came into his mind and he immediately felt guilt, pushing Amanda off him. She had asked him what the hell he was doing as he grabbed his shirt and pulled his pants on and he ran of the room without replying.  
  
He tiptoed into Emma and Joshua's bedroom and saw them both snuggled up in their respective beds; Joshua was snoring lightly and sucking on his thumb as Ross bent over to kiss him.  
  
He went to do the same to Emma and her eyes snapped open  
  
"Daddy?" she whispered  
  
"Yeah Princess" said Ross "I'm coming to tuck you in"  
  
"Why are you home so late?" asked Emma "You made Mommy sad tonight"  
  
Ross paused for a second "I'm going to talk to Mommy right now, Can I give you a kiss first?"  
  
"Sure" said Emma "Are you still gonna take me to school tomorrow?"  
  
"A promise is a promise," said Ross "Sleep tight sweetie"  
  
Emma rolled over and closed her eyes "See you in the morning"  
  
Ross walked towards his and Rachel's bedroom, pausing at the door. The guilt he was feeling right now was immense and he didn't even know if he could look at her without blurting out what he'd done, he'd made the biggest mistake of his life.  
  
He opened the door and saw Rachel's still figure lying on the bed, on top of the covers and still clothed from today.  
  
He thought she was sleeping so he quietly used the bathroom, scrubbing at his mouth and hands, he still had an alcohol taste in his mouth and it just reminded him of what had happened, there was also the faint smell of Amanda's perfume on his shirt which he chucked in the washing machine.  
  
Her eyes were closed and she looked like an angel with her hair spread on the pillow like a Halo. She was the most beautiful human being he'd ever seen, and she was his. He wondered what had ever possessed him to become involved with Amanda; he must be out of his mind. A second after his butt hit the bed her eyes opened.  
  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you," said Ross softly  
  
"I wasn't asleep," said Rachel, sitting up "Where the hell have you been?"  
  
"We had a little party for one of the guys at work" said Ross "I lost track of time"  
  
"And you couldn't find a phone to call me?" asked Rachel "I've been lying here, wondering where the hell you've been, you tell me your going to be home at 8 and then rock up 2 and a half hours later, There's something wrong with that picture"  
  
"I know, I'm sorry Rach," said Ross  
  
He wanted to reach out and touch her but he couldn't.  
  
These guilty feelings made him want to reach out and make it all up to her, make up for everything that he had ever done to make her upset. Make up for being a horrible husband lately.  
  
"You're sorry?" said Rachel "Well you know what, I'm sorry too Ross. I'm sorry that I've been stressing myself out all day, wondering what's going on in your head right now, wondering why my husband would rather be at work then at home with his family, stressing that maybe I've done something to make you angry but now I just don't care"  
  
"You don't mean that," said Ross "I'm sorry, we had a few drinks and.."  
  
"How old are you Ross?" said Rachel, her voice was wavering and tears were pricking the back of her eyes, threatening to show themselves  
  
"You're 38 not 28. You don't just go out and drink with your colleagues, not when you have a wife and kids waiting for you at home, not without first calling and letting me know. It's not the fact that you did it that really bothers me, it's the fact that you didn't even have the decency to call"  
  
"I'm sorry," said Ross, repeating himself. He couldn't think of anything else to say, he did the wrong thing and she had every reason to be angry  
  
"Stop saying sorry" snapped Rachel "Sorry doesn't fix anything"  
  
"I'm going to be better from now on" said Ross "I'm going to be home more and spending more time with you, Em and Josh. I promise"  
  
"Another promise?" said Rachel "You need to get out of the habit of making promises Ross, because you know as well as I do, you never keep them"  
  
"This will be one that I keep," said Ross "You know I love you and I hate it when you're upset"  
  
"Do you?" asked Rachel, her voice rising "So why are you doing this to me? Spending every waking moment working, leaving me at home by myself, raising our children?"  
  
"Because I just want you to have everything, I want you to be happy" said Ross "And I know that if we had nothing, you wouldn't be happy"  
  
"Well you don't know me very well then Ross, if you did then you would know by now that money isn't everything to me, it might have been 10 years ago but it isn't anymore, I honestly couldn't care less if we were dirt poor with nothing in the bank, as long as I had you and the kids, I'd be fine"  
  
"I'll work more at home then" said Ross "I'll carry my marking home every day, and I'll be here for dinner and bedtime stories, if that's what will make you happy, that's what I'll do"  
  
"Really?" asked Rachel "That would make me so happy"  
  
"Really" said Ross  
  
"You better be serious Ross," said Rachel "Because I can't deal with being alone every night, I can't deal with having to explain to Emma why her dad is never home, She actually asked me today if you still love her and Josh"  
  
Ross was shocked; he couldn't believe that his daughter would even think such a thing.  
  
"Oh my god" he mumbled "I'm serious Rach, I'm going to be here ok, for you and for the kids. I do love you, so, so much"  
  
Rachel's tough stance melted and she leaned over and kissed him gently, her tongue seeking a response from him but she got nothing "What's the matter?"  
  
"Nothing" said Ross, pulling away slightly.  
  
He couldn't do it; he couldn't kiss her when his lips had been on someone else's an hour before.  
  
"Something is the matter" said Rachel "Why won't you kiss me?"  
  
"It's nothing, I just had a bit to drink tonight, I don't want to kiss you when I smell and taste like a brewery" said Ross "I swear"  
  
Rachel looked at him strangely, he had a funny look on his face and she had a slight inkling that he was hiding something "What did you do tonight?"  
  
"What?" asked Ross "I just told you, we had a party at work for Mike and I had a few drinks. What more do you want me to tell you?"  
  
"Nothing" said Rachel "I'm not giving you the 3rd degree"  
  
"I know you're not," asked Ross "Just answer me this, are we ok?"  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel "Just don't do it again Ross, if you're not going to be home, call me and let me know, I worry about you"  
  
"Thanks for worrying about me, that's why I love you, because you're so sweet" said Ross "I'm going to go and grab some food. Do you want anything?"  
  
"No" said Rachel "I'm really tired, I need to sleep. Will I wake up with you next to me tomorrow?'  
  
"Yeah, I prom.." began Ross, before stopping himself "You will"  
  
"Good" said Rachel, sliding off her skirt and top, revealing her Bra and G- string.  
  
Ross stared at her body as she stood up, pulling the pillows off the bed and the doona back.  
  
She had the body of someone who hadn't popped out two kids, amazingly slender with not an ounce of fat in sight, Ross nearly hyperventilated every time he saw her without any clothes on.  
  
"Ross!!" said Rachel, jolting him back into reality "Aren't you getting your dinner?"  
  
"I am" said Ross "I'll see you in the morning?"  
  
He kissed her hand and walked out the room, shutting the door softly and leaning against it. He wanted to kill himself right now; if he had a gun he probably would have done it.  
  
He went into the kitchen and sat down at the table, his head in his hands.  
  
His mind was reeling, he didn't know how he had just sat in there and blatantly lied to Rachel about why he was so late, lied to the one person who he was supposed to tell everything too, the one person who trusted him the most in the world.  
  
He had broken that trust the second his lips had touched Amanda's, the instant that their bodies touched, A trust that once Rachel found out he had broken, would never be regained.  
  
He felt sick, like he could throw up any second, he wanted to go in there and tell Rachel everything, but he knew when he did, it would be all over. It took her years to completely forgive him last time, if he told her again, She would never forgive him.  
  
He felt nothing for Amanda, sure she was young and she was beautiful but she was nothing compared to Rachel. All the harmless flirting that they had engaged in had blown into something completely wrong.  
  
He didn't know what had made him become close with Amanda, they had been spending a far amount of time together lately because he was always working but that was no excuse, All the alcohol had obviously gone to his head and taken control.  
  
He looked at the plate of dinner on the stove, completely inedible by now, just as well because he didn't know if he could stomach anything, He was completely disgusted with himself.  
  
He knew that he had to tell Rachel, if he didn't it was going to eat him alive but if he did, he would ruin the most important thing in his life, his family. He couldn't bear to hurt the people who mean the most to him.  
  
He mind was reeling when he made a decision, he had to get out, get away from it.  
  
He grabbed a pen and paper and prepared to write the hardest letter of his life.  
  
Dear Rachel, I know when you read this letter; you're going to know that I am gone. I've made a mistake, a mistake that I can't bear to keep to myself. I betrayed you Rachel, betrayed you in the biggest way. I think you will understand what I am trying to say, as I can't bear to write it down. I am absolutely disgusted with myself, I can't believe what I've done and if I could take it back, believe me I would. I made the decision to leave because you are better off without me, you don't deserve a husband who is unfaithful, you deserve so much better then that. I love you so much, you mean the world to me and I cannot even begin to explain how sorry I am to do this to you. I can't face you, look into your eyes and see the hurt when you realise what I've done. Please tell Emma and Josh that I love them more then anything. I'm sorry for everything Rachel, it was a stupid, stupid mistake that has now cost me so much. I will love you forever; you're my shining star. Love always and forever, Ross...  
  
He went into the bedroom and put the note on the bedside table, taking one last look at his wife, She was sound asleep now and he bent down and kissed her cheek.  
  
He grabbed a bag and shoved a few necessities into it quietly, taking one last look at Rachel before he walked out the door.  
  
TBC- Rachel's reaction when she finds out. How will Emma deal with it? And where does Ross go?  
  
Please review if you liked it but be nice ( 


	2. Heartache and Regrets

Chapter 2 (The next morning)  
  
Rachel woke up to the sounds of the TV going in the lounge room. She rolled over and found the space next to her, empty. She smiled, thinking that maybe Ross was making her breakfast or something like that and climbed out of bed, dragging on a robe and headed into the lounge room.  
  
All she saw in there was Emma parked in front of the TV, watching Teletubbies, doona wrapped tightly around her.  
  
She was giggling madly, and didn't even notice Rachel enter the room.  
  
"Em" said Rachel "EMMA"  
  
Emma turned around "Morning Mommy"  
  
"What are you doing up?" asked Rachel "It's only 6:30"  
  
"I couldn't sleep," said Emma "Josh was coughing all night"  
  
"Well why didn't you come and wake me or Dad up?" asked Rachel, sitting on the couch  
  
"I came in, but you were sleeping and so I didn't want to wake you," said Emma "And Daddy wasn't there"  
  
"What?" asked Rachel, leaning over the couch and looking into the kitchen "What do you mean Daddy wasn't there?"  
  
"I came in and he wasn't in bed," said Emma  
  
Rachel stood up "Has he been out here since you got up?"  
  
"No" said Emma, focusing her attention back on the TV  
  
"I'll be back in a second," said Rachel, standing up and moving towards the bedroom.  
  
She walked through the bedroom, and into the Ensuite, expecting Ross to be in the shower or something but he wasn't.  
  
She went back out into the bedroom and sat on the bed, wondering where he could be as he said he would be here when she woke up, He wasn't going into work early.  
  
It was then she noticed the envelope on the bedside table. She picked it up and read the front of it, it said RACHEL.  
  
She ripped the envelope open and with a sinking feeling in her heart, starting reading the letter.  
Dear Rachel, I know when you read this letter; you're going to know that I am gone.  
  
Her heart nearly jumped out of her chest as she read the first line  
  
"Gone??" she mumbled to herself  
  
I've made a mistake, a mistake that I can't bear to keep to myself. I betrayed you Rachel, betrayed you in the biggest way. I think you will understand what I am trying to say, as I can't bear to write it down. I am absolutely disgusted with myself, I can't believe what I've done and if I could take it back, believe me I would. I made the decision to leave because you are better off without me, you don't deserve a husband who is unfaithful, you deserve so much better then that. I love you so much, you mean the world to me and I cannot even begin to explain how sorry I am to do this to you. I can't face you, look into your eyes and see the hurt when you realise what I've done. Please tell Emma and Josh that I love them more then anything. I'm sorry for everything Rachel, it was a stupid, stupid mistake that has now cost me so much. I will love you forever; you're my shining star. Love always and forever, Ross...  
  
"What the hell is this?" Rachel asked herself, digesting the information. He had betrayed her in the biggest of ways and now he had gone???  
  
She was finding it hard to understand when it clicked. He'd been unfaithful. He had been with someone else. The person she trusted most in the world...  
  
She sat on the bed, stunned and in shock, when Emma came trailing into the bedroom  
  
"What's that Mommy?" she asked, looking over Rachel's shoulder  
  
"Nothing" said Rachel, jumping up off the bed  
  
She could hear Josh wailing from his bedroom, "Go and get your brother Em"  
  
Emma left the room and Rachel went into the walk in closet, noticing a bag and some of Ross's clothes were gone.  
  
Rachel sank to the floor, still holding the letter and burst into tears as it sunk in. Ross had left her; He hadn't just gone to clear his head, he'd taken his clothes and had left...  
  
Emma came back into the room, pulling Josh by the hand behind her and saw Rachel sitting on the ground, tears running down her face  
  
"Mommy." said Emma "What's wrong?"  
  
Rachel didn't answer and Emma got a worried look on her face  
  
"Mommy, you're scaring me," said Emma "Where's Daddy?"  
  
Josh began to cry, he was tired and confused.  
  
"Mommy, what do I do?" asked Emma.  
  
She ran to the bedside table and grabbed the phone, dialling a number she'd been taught 2 years ago and knew off by heart  
  
"Aunty Monica?" said Emma into the phone "Something's wrong"  
  
(Monica on the other end of the line) "Em, What's wrong Sweetie?"  
  
"I don't know," said Emma, her voice wavering "Mommy's crying and she won't talk to me, Josh is crying too and I don't know what to do"  
  
(Monica) "Why is your Mom crying? Where's your Dad?"  
  
"He's not here," said Emma "I think that's why Mommy is upset"  
  
(Monica) Put Mommy on the phone Honey"  
  
Emma took the cordless to where Rachel was sitting, and went to hand it to her "Mommy, Aunty Monica wants to speak to you"  
  
Rachel didn't take the phone and Emma lifted it back to her ear "She won't take the phone, Aunty Mon I'm scared"  
  
(Monica) I'm coming over now Honey ok. You and Josh just sit tight and I'll be over in 5 minutes"  
  
"OK" said Emma, hanging up the phone and looking over at her brother, who was standing there with a bewildered look on his face  
  
"Mommy, Aunty Monica's coming over," said Emma "Mommy, please say something"  
  
Rachel didn't answer yet again; she sat there with her head in her hands.  
  
Josh walked over and touched Rachel's face "Mommy sad?"  
  
Emma heard a key turning in the front door and ran through, hoping it was her dad home but Monica walked through the front door instead  
  
"What's going on Honey?" asked Monica, putting her bag down "Where's your Mom?"  
  
"In here" said Emma, walking back into the bedroom and pointing into where Rachel was sitting  
  
"Rach" said Monica, sinking to the floor next to her "What on earth is the matter?"  
  
Rachel looked up, Her face was puffy and tearstained and she wordlessly handed the letter to Monica  
  
Monica skimmed over it, taking in a deep breathe "Noooo"  
  
She stood up, "Emma, Josh, Let's go into the kitchen and I'll pour you both some cereal ok. You must be hungry now"  
  
"Not really" said Emma "I want to stay with Mommy"  
  
"We should give Mommy some alone time Honey," said Monica "Come on"  
  
Monica looked at Rachel and whispered, "I'll be right back"  
  
Rachel nodded in reply, tears still cascading down her face  
  
Monica led the kids into the kitchen where she got them some cereal and settled them at the bench, telling Emma to put a video in when they were finished before heading back into the bedroom.  
  
Rachel had moved from her spot, and was now sitting on the bed, touching the spot where Ross normally slept. Tears were no longer flowing down her face; instead an odd look had replaced them.  
  
"Oh Rach" said Monica, sitting down next to her "I don't know what to make of this"  
  
"I do," said Rachel, her voice suddenly clear and loud "He did it again Mon"  
  
"Come on" said Monica, doubtful "There's got to be an explanation for this"  
  
"Explanation?" spluttered Rachel "He just admitted it, He's done exactly what we decided yesterday he'd never do"  
  
"I can't believe this," said Monica "What would make him do this?"  
  
"I don't know" said Rachel "He came home late last night, stinking of alcohol because he'd been at some office party, I had it out with him, told him I was sick of being alone every night, sick of being both parents. He promised me that he was going to change, that he was going to be home more. He told me he loves me and he hates to see me hurting. Well I'm hurting right now and he isn't even here to give a shit"  
  
Monica was silent for a second "Did he give any indication last night, that something had happened? Was he acting strange? Guilty?"  
  
"Sort of" said Rachel, wiping her face with a tissue "I kissed him and he wouldn't kiss me back. I got this feeling that something was up so I asked him what he had got up to last night and he got a little defensive so I closed my mouth. I didn't press him for information" "How could he do this to me?" asked Rachel "Am I such a bad person? I know we were having problems but..WHY?"  
  
"I don't know," said Monica  
  
Monica put her arm around her and she suddenly broke down again..  
  
"After everything we've been through, everything that has happened these past 13 years or so, 5 years of marriage, " sobbed Rachel "After last time, I didn't think he'd be so stupid to make the same mistake. He knows how hurt and betrayed I felt when he slept with someone else, and we weren't even married then, we weren't a family. There weren't innocent children involved, HOW COULD HE DO THIS TO HIS CHILDREN??"  
  
"Calm down" said Monica, patting her back "Don't do this to yourself"  
  
"What am I supposed to do?" asked Rachel "Tell me Monica please"  
  
"I.." began Monica  
  
"Well that's great. Thanks" said Rachel "How am I going to tell my kids, Daddy cheated on Mommy and since he's such a f*****g coward and can't face up to his mistakes. He's left us"  
  
Monica was wondering what was really going on in Rachel's head right now, Her emotions were changing all over the place, one minute she was crying, then the next she was angry.  
  
"He'll be back," said Monica "He's probably just feeling so guilty, that he can't be around you now. But I know he loves you and he loves Emma and Josh. He's going to call or something"  
  
"Loves me?" said Rachel, her voice rising. Her sadness had been replaced by anger, right now she wanted to find Ross and kick his ass. "If he loved me, he wouldn't have done this. He would be laying next to me in bed right this very second. I can't believe you are defending him"  
  
"Honey, I'm not defending him ok" said Monica "God knows right now I want to kill my brother for doing this to you, but you need to think about how he is feeling. Think about how you would feel if you cheated on Ross, and you knew that if you told him, it would shatter the one person that you love, it would ruin the most important thing in your life, your family.What would you do?"  
  
"That doesn't apply here Monica," said Rachel "For one thing, I would never, EVER cheat on Ross. I meant what I said in our wedding vows and second of all, if I did do such a thing, I would face up to it, I would sit there and I would tell my husband to his god damn face and do everything possible to get his forgiveness, I would not write a letter and then run away"  
  
"Maybe you wouldn't" said Monica "But Ross isn't like that ok. He can't face up to his mistakes; he has always been the same. Like he said in the letter, He couldn't bear to be around you, to look at you when you found out, to see the hurt in your eyes. I can see how angry you are Sweetie, but I can also see the hurt in your eyes, I can tell just by looking at you that you don't want to yell, you don't want to scream and abuse Ross for this, you want to cry and you want to forgive"  
  
"I do not want to forgive," said Rachel "I..uh.I wan..."  
  
"Stop" said Monica  
  
She pulled Rachel into a hug and held her close, waiting for the tough, angry act she was putting on to come crashing down.  
  
It came soon enough; Monica felt her body begin to shake with sobs and she held her tightly.  
  
(Sometime later)  
  
Chandler, Joey and Phoebe had arrived at Ross and Rachel's apartment. Rachel had fallen asleep after crying herself ragged. The adults were speaking quietly as Emma, Jamie and Phoebe and Joey's 4-year-old twins Dayton and Jesse were all in Emma's room, playing quietly  
  
"I can't believe he would do this," said Joey "Again"  
  
"Are we sure he was unfaithful?" asked Phoebe "Maybe he'd just kidding. Maybe he's sitting down at Central Perk right now, having a coffee and soon he's going to run in and say it was all a joke, I'm Back!!!"  
  
"Yeah, that's going to happen in a hurry" said Chandler "You read the letter, He's gone"  
  
"I feel so sorry for Rachel" said Monica "I was in there with her, and she has this tough stance that she wants to put across, she was cursing Ross and saying that she wouldn't forgive him but I was just waiting for her to let it all go"  
  
"Why would he ever do this?" asked Phoebe "Rachel is the person that Ross has always loved, throughout everything. I figured that once he had her back, ya'know, He'd do nothing to mess it up"  
  
"Rachel said when he came in last night, he'd been at a work party and was drunk" said Monica "I don't know if that's when it happened, or if he got drunk because he was feeling guilty..he didn't really explain anything in the letter, just that he'd been unfaithful, was sorry and thought his decision was the best possible one"  
  
"Work party?" asked Joey  
  
"Yeah" said Monica, looking at Joey's face which was screwed up as if he was thinking hard  
  
"Amanda!!" said Joey "There's this hot girl.."  
  
"Hot girl?" interrupted Phoebe "She's hot is she?"  
  
"No, Not hot at all" stammered Joey "There's this unattractive girl called Amanda at his work, He's mentioned her before hasn't he Chandler?"  
  
"What?" asked Chandler "I don't know anything"  
  
"So Ross has been talking to you about some hot girl at his work?" asked Monica "What did he say about her?"  
  
"Nothing, just that she was sorta cute, young and she always payed a lot of attention to him" said Joey "He didn't say it like he wanted her or anything"  
  
"Amanda" said Monica "She's got to be the one"  
  
"Keep it to yourself" said Chandler "I think it would be best not to let Rachel know that Ross had mentioned her ok, what if she goes down to the University and has a go at her?"  
  
"I hope she does" said Phoebe "I hope she kicks her ass, this Amanda girl would obviously know that Ross is married, yet she still tried to get involved with him"  
  
"Tried being the operative word," said Monica "Succeeded in getting involved with him"  
  
"Wait a minute," said Joey "Just because he mentioned her, doesn't mean she was the one"  
  
"Think about it Joe" said Chandler "He's mentioned her before, he's been spending A LOT of time at work lately, it all adds up"  
  
Joey thought about it for a moment "Yeah, I guess you're right"  
  
"I just didn't think Ross could be so stupid," said Phoebe "He is soo stupid"  
  
"Who's stupid?" asked Emma as she came wandering into the lounge room  
  
"No one Honey" said Monica "How are you Sweetie?"  
  
"Ok, When's my Dad coming home?" asked Emma "And why aren't I going to school today? Daddy was supposed to take me and it's 11am and he's not here"  
  
"Hey Em, think yourself lucky" said Joey "You got a day of school for no reason"  
  
"I wanted to go today" said Emma "Daddy was going to take me and I wanted to show him my new desk in my classroom and this special painting I'm in the middle of doing, it's of Me, Mommy, Daddy and Josh. I guess I'll show him tomorrow"  
  
Monica, Chandler, Joey and Phoebe all looked at each other. They didn't know what to say, how do you explain to a 7 year old that her Daddy has left her?  
  
"Maybe" said Monica "Why don't you go back and play with Jamie, Dayton and Jesse?"  
  
"They're all boys," said Emma "I want to play with some girl toys. Can't I stay out here with you guys?"  
  
"Sweetie" said Monica "We're just having an important discussion"  
  
"Fine, I'll go and talk to my Mommy then" said Emma defiantly.  
  
"She's sleeping Em," said Chandler  
  
"I wanna see if she's awake," said Emma.  
  
She stomped through towards the bedroom, Monica on her heels and opened the door.  
  
The room was partially dark and Emma could see Rachel's figure lying on the bed. She walked up to it and tapped her shoulder "Mommy"  
  
"Emma" whispered Monica from the doorway "See, she's asleep"  
  
"I'm not," said Rachel, rolling over and facing Emma "I'm awake"  
  
"Sorry Rach" said Monica "She wanted to talk to you"  
  
"It's ok," said Rachel softly, she motioned for Emma to join her on the bed.  
  
Emma climbed up next to her and lay in her arms  
  
"I'll leave you alone then?" asked Monica, looking at Rachel for an indication wether or not she was ready to talk to Emma about it.  
  
"Thanks" said Rachel  
  
Monica moved away from the door, shutting it quietly behind her.  
  
Emma looked into Rachel's eyes "Are you better now Mommy?"  
  
"A little" said Rachel "I'm sorry I scared you this morning"  
  
"Why were you crying?" asked Emma "And where's Daddy? He hasn't been home yet?"  
  
Rachel took in a deep breath as she thought about how she could explain this to Emma  
  
"Emma Honey" began Rachel, her eyes filling up with tears "Daddy's gone away for a little while"  
  
"He has?" asked Emma "But he tucked me in last night and promised to take me to school and everything.He's gone somewhere and he didn't even say goodbye?"  
  
"I know honey" said Rachel, her voice cracking "But I think Daddy needed some space or something. He left without saying goodbye to me too"  
  
"Is he coming back soon?" asked Emma "I'll miss him if he's gone for too long"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "Your Dad needs to think about some things.."  
  
"You were lying last night," said Emma, climbing off the bed and standing up"When you told me that my Daddy loves me, if he loved me he wouldn't have left at night time without saying goodbye..he would have kissed me goodbye"  
  
"I wasn't lying Princess," said Rachel, sitting up "He does love you, but he just made a fast, bad decision and left without telling anyone about it. He might have kissed you goodbye, maybe you just didn't wake up"  
  
"He didn't" stated Emma "I always wake up when Daddy comes in to my room"  
  
"I'm so sorry Sweetie" said Rachel "Daddy might be living somewhere else, but he still loves you, He left me a note telling me to tell you and Josh that he loves you both more then anything."  
  
"I don't care," said Emma "Daddy is mean for doing this, He's mean for making you cry so much this morning. I don't care if he never comes back"  
  
"Please don't say that Emma" said Rachel "Don't say things you don't mean"  
  
"I do mean it," said Emma.  
  
She came back and sat next to Rachel, laying her head on her shoulder "But I love you Mommy, I know that you'd never leave me and Joshua"  
  
"I will always be here Emma," said Rachel, kissing her head "No matter what happens, you can't get rid of me. I will always be here for you, and just like your Daddy, I will always love you"  
  
(Hotel Room - Across the City)  
  
Ross lay on the bed, staring at the wall.  
  
He was almost regretting his decision to leave, he could picture Emma's face when she found out that he wasn't there, God she meant the world to him. He couldn't believe how one stupid mistake, can hurt so many, could change his life just like that.  
  
There was no way he could go back now and make up for what he did, there might have been a slight change if he had of stayed there and talked it out to Rachel, but not anymore, because instead of facing up to it, he took the coward road and ran away.  
  
He got out his wallet and opened it up, pulling out 2 photos. One had been taken 3 years ago, 2 hours after Joshua was born. It was him, Rachel and Emma all sitting on Rachel's Hospital bed, Baby Joshua sleeping in her arms, they were all smiling for the camera, Rachel's an exhausted but happy smile. Ross was holding one of Josh's little hands and Emma was holding the other one. They were such a happy family, celebrating the birth of a new baby.  
  
The other photo was of him and Rachel on their wedding day, standing in front of the buffet table, where their 3 tier wedding cake sat, they were about to make the first cut, both of them were holding the knife and staring into each others eyes. Rachel had the biggest grin on her face as she stared at her love.  
  
Rachel's face now flashed in front of him. She had those beautiful, expressive eyes, which could tell a million stories, those eyes that when she was upset, they sort of crinkled up and got a film of tears across them. Ross had seen that upset look one to many times. Every time they ever fought; Rachel was the first one to cry and when she did, Ross had this automatic instinct to forget whatever the problem was and take her into his arms and make her feel better.  
  
He could just imagine what she was feeling right now, the emotions and pain, the feelings of hurt and betrayal.and it was his entire fault.  
  
He wished he could just go home, face up to it, beg Rachel for her forgiveness but something told him not to, something told him that if he went home, it would just cause more anger, more fighting, something he didn't want to put Rachel or his kids threw.  
  
He reached over and picked up the phone, dialling his home number. All he wanted to do was hear her voice, maybe even hear Emma's voice, not speak, just hear a voice, and know that she was ok..  
  
The phone rang once and the machine picked it up..He heard his own voice.  
  
"Hi, you've called the Geller's. Ross, Rachel, Emma and Joshua. We can't come to the phone right now but if you leave your name and number, we'll get back to you as soon as we can. Bye"  
  
He hung up and redialled the number, this time it was answered by a voice that wasn't Rachel's, it was Phoebe.  
  
(Other end of the line) "Hello"  
  
Ross didn't say anything.. He wanted to just say "Hi" but he couldn't  
  
(End of the line) "Hello!!"  
  
Ross hung the phone up quickly, leaving the dial tone buzzing in Phoebe's ear.  
  
He lay back down and closed his eyes, holding the picture of his family close to his chest. There was a dull ache in his chest, a pain that wasn't going to go away.  
  
TBC 


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own the Friends, nor do I own the song 'This very Moment' by KC & JoJo  
Chapter 3 - 1 and a half weeks later  
  
Emma walked into her Mom's bedroom, it was nearly 8am and she had gotten herself and Josh out of bed and gotten them both breakfast, all the things that her Mom was supposed to do except she was still asleep.  
  
Emma went to the edge of the bed and shook Rachel's shoulder gently, getting no response, she shook it a bit harder, whispering "Mommy Wake up"  
  
Still getting no response, she bent down and yelled in Rachel's ear "I need to go to school so WAKE UP"  
  
Rachel was jolted out of her sleep and she nearly fell out of bed "What Emma?"  
  
"Mommy, it's 8 o'clock. I have to be at school soon, you have to be at work so get out of bed" said Emma. She pointed at the clock "See"  
  
"Shit" said Rachel, climbing out of bed wearily. Another night with only a few hours sleep was taking it's toll, She could barely keep her eyes open "Sorry honey"  
  
"I got Joshua up and got him some cereal," said Emma "I dressed him too"  
  
"You did?" asked Rachel "Thank you so much. I did set my alarm but I must have slept through it"  
  
"You've been doing that a lot lately," said Emma  
  
"I'm sorry," mumbled Rachel, as though she was the daughter and Emma was the mother "I'm going to have a quick shower ok, you grab your stuff for school and as soon as I'm out, we'll hit the road ok?"  
  
"Ok" said Emma, exiting the bedroom.  
  
Rachel sat down on the bed, trying to wake herself up and focus on what had to be done today. There were so many things she needed to do but she didn't know how she was going to do them. She was exhausted from lack of sleep, feeling emotional and depressed.  
  
Emma came back into the doorway "Mom!!" she exclaimed, "What are you doing?"  
  
"I'm going," said Rachel, standing up and walking into the bathroom where she stood under a boiling hot shower for 25 minutes, finally dragging herself out where she stood looking at herself in the mirror.  
  
She looked an absolute mess; her face was pale, with dark circles underneath her eyes.  
  
She sure as hell didn't feel like looking at herself any longer so she went into the semi empty closet and rifled through her millions of clothes, looking for something to wear. She hadn't been caring lately how she looked, living in her sweatpants but what she saw this morning was a wake up call that she needed to pull herself together.  
  
She finally settled on a black ¾ skirt, a blue Singlet top and some flip- flops.  
  
She got dressed and walked into the lounge room.  
  
Emma was sitting on the couch, patiently waiting with her school bag next to her.  
  
Josh was lying on his Pooh Bear sofa watching TV, Emma had dressed him, dressed him as Superman.  
  
"Mommy" he yelled, jumping up and running into Rachel's arms  
  
"Hey spunky" she said, kissing his head "Are you superman today?"  
  
"Uh Huh" said Josh "Emma said so"  
  
"Are you ready now?" asked Emma "I'm late Mommy"  
  
"I'm sorry Sweetie," said Rachel "I'm ready"  
  
"Good" said Emma, getting up and grabbing her bag  
  
"If I could just find my handbag and keys," said Rachel, looking around the room  
  
"HERE" said Emma, pulling them out from underneath on of the cushions on the couch  
  
"Thanks. Ok now, we're good," said Rachel, picking up Joshua and heading for the door  
  
"At last" muttered Emma, following behind as Rachel locked the front door.  
  
They reached the sidewalk and Rachel put Joshua down, he was a big boy and it pained her back carrying him  
  
"Come on Mommy" said Emma marching ahead "I'm going to be in trouble"  
  
"You aren't going to be in trouble," said Rachel, dragging Josh by the hand as she tried to catch up with Emma  
  
Josh suddenly got fed up and sat down on the pavement, where he refused to move  
  
"Come on Josh" said Rachel  
  
"No" said Josh "You carry me"  
  
"Sweetie, we've got to walk all the way to Emma's school. I can't carry you," said Rachel "Be a big boy and walk for Mommy...Please"  
  
"No" said Josh, pouting and crossing his arms "Joshua Ryan Geller" said Rachel sternly, looking around to see if anyone was watching. It was an embarrassment when people saw that you couldn't even handle your own kids.  
  
Someone was watching from afar, Ross was standing in the shadow of a building across the street. He saw Rachel bending down and whispering something in Josh's ear and Josh's face suddenly brightening. Emma was standing, tapping her foot with her face like thunder. She was definitely her mother's daughter.  
  
He didn't know how appropriate it was for him to be standing here, basically spying on his wife but he couldn't face her and he really wanted to see her and the kids.  
  
He looked at Rachel's face as she stood up, holding Josh's hand. He thought how tired and run down she looked, He wanted to run across the street and take her into his arms and never let go.  
  
He watched as she began walking up the road, towards Emma's school, watched her figure become smaller until she rounded the corner.  
  
It was then he quickly crossed the road, and entered his apartment building. He needed to get some more clothes and his checkbook from his bedside table.  
  
He quickly ran up the stairs and let himself into the apartment, gasping at the mess as he walked in. There were toys from one end of the living room to the other, He realised how much Rachel must not be coping, she wasn't like Monica but she never used to let the place get this messy.  
  
He went into the bedroom quickly, all he wanted to do was get some stuff and get out, He again realised how inappropriate sneaking in was but again, He couldn't face her and he needed his checkbook.  
  
He looked at the unmade bed, there were a pile of balled up Kleenex on the bedside table and Rachel's nightgown was slung on the floor..He sat on the edge of the bed and picked up the nightgown, lifting it to his face, It was his favourite nightgown of Rachel's, black and silky and she looked fabulous in it.  
  
He sat in silence for a moment, just thinking and then he snapped out of it. He figured Rachel would be home soon and he knew he shouldn't be here when she was. He quickly grabbed what he needed, including another photo of himself, Rachel and the kids from the album underneath the coffee table and was at the door, locking it when he heard Rachel's voice coming up the stairs, talking to Joshua.  
  
He quickly snapped the lock, and ducked around the corner. He could hear her voice as she came closer...  
  
"Daddy be in there?" asked Joshua, ever hopeful  
  
Rachel sighed, and with a sadness in her voice replied, "No, I don't think so Sweetie"  
  
"Where's Daddy gone?" asked Joshua, standing and watching Rachel find her keys in her handbag  
  
Ross, from around the corner said silently in his head "I'm right here Buddy, right here"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "Somewhere..Where the hell are my keys"  
  
"I want a Daddy cuddle," said Joshua "Big one"  
  
"You do?" asked Rachel "Well you know what, I want a Daddy cuddle too Josh"  
  
"Yeah?" asked Josh  
  
"Yeah I do" said Rachel "I can't help you with the Daddy cuddle but will you settle with a Mommy cuddle?"  
  
Josh lifted his arms up in reply and Rachel held him tightly, kissing the top of his head "I love you Spunky Boy"  
  
"Love you Mommy," said Josh  
  
"Do you want to go to Aunty Monica's?" asked Rachel "I don't feel like being at home alone today. Do you?"  
  
"No" said Josh "Mon's house"  
  
"Ok" said Rachel, picking him back up and walked back down the stairs where they came up from.  
  
Ross stepped out from around the corner, He had tears brimming in his eyes as he once again realised the pain he was putting his family through, not only Rachel but his children too.  
  
He quickly exited the building, and jumped into a cab, heading uptown to his dingy and lonely hotel room. He hadn't been into work since the incident and didn't know if he was going to go back anytime soon either.  
  
(Monica and Chandler's Apartment)  
  
Monica tiptoed to the door quietly, having heard a knock. Taylah was asleep in her arms finally after about 2 hours of non-stop crying and Monica was frazzled.  
  
"Hey Mon" said Rachel as she opened the door  
  
"Hey Sweetie" said Monica, brightening up "Hey Josh, Come in"  
  
Rachel put Josh down on the floor and he ran into Jamie's room and she sat down on the couch after taking Taylah out of Monica's arms for a cuddle  
  
"She gets more beautiful every day," said Rachel, staring at the newborn and stroking her smooth skin  
  
"I know," said Monica proudly "So how are you?"  
  
"I'm doing ok, I guess," said Rachel  
  
"You look better today," noted Monica  
  
"Out of my sweats," said Rachel, lifting up her legs  
  
"So I see," said Monica with a laugh "Yay"  
  
"How are you feeling in yourself though?" asked Monica seriously  
  
"Oh you know," said Rachel quietly "Sad, depressed, lonely."  
  
She shrugged her shoulders, biting her lip as tears brimmed "I'm just..."  
  
"I know," said Monica "I'm sorry Honey"  
  
"Don't be sorry" said Rachel "I just need to get myself together, start my life again. With or without Ross I guess..."  
  
"Are you ready for that?" asked Monica  
  
Rachel paused for a second "No...How do you start it all over again, without the one person you're supposed to be with?"  
  
"With a lot of hard work" said Monica "And a lot of help from your friends who love you and who will always be there to help you"  
  
"You guys have been so amazing, I'm so glad that I have Friends like you," said Rachel "Do you want your Angel back?"  
  
"Yeah" said Monica, taking Taylah from Rachel "I'll just put her in her bassinet, one second"  
  
Monica returned and sat back down on the couch, next to Rachel  
  
"It was nice to see a smile on your face today" she said, "Even though it's not exactly a happy one"  
  
Rachel sniffed "I don't really feel like smiling"  
  
"Yeah, but you've got to smile for your kids" said Monica "Don't let them see you all depressed"  
  
"I know," said Rachel "I just wish this had never had happened, wonder if it really is my fault? I must have driven him to do this, first have the affair to start with and then feel he can't even talk to me. I know you and I discussed the possibility but I didn't really think it would be true. Maybe if I had of sat down with him, discussed what was going wrong in the marriage, he wouldn't have strayed"  
  
"It's not your fault," said Monica "In any way at all. Ross is obviously going through some sort of crisis, and made a mistake"  
  
"A big mistake" said Rachel  
  
"Definitely" said Monica "But tell me now, If Ross came to the door today, said how sorry he was, how much he loves you and swore black and blue that it would never happen again and begged for your forgiveness.Would you send him away?"  
  
Rachel thought for a few minutes "I can't answer that..I mean, in spite of everything, I do still love him, I mean you can't just stop loving someone that you've loved for so many years but the feelings of hurt, betrayal.they're all still here and probably won't go away for a very long time"  
  
"Well.." said Monica "I know you will do what you think is right"  
  
"What, you think he is going to come back?" asked Rachel  
  
"Well I don't think he is just going to disappear of the face of the earth," said Monica  
  
"Where do you think he is?" asked Rachel  
  
"Honestly, I have no idea" said Monica, "I haven't spoken to him since he left, Chandler hasn't either"  
  
"Oh" said Rachel "I miss him ya'know"  
  
"Really?" said Monica  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel "I know that before, he was always at work and everything, but at least I knew he was there..his presence in bed at night was comforting.He was mine"  
  
Rachel went quiet, she was staring at her hands in her lap and her mind was wandering, She started thinking about their wedding day..  
  
(Flashback- 5 years earlier)  
  
They were standing at the altar saying their vows, playing quietly in the background was a song chosen by Ross....  
  
I can't believe it's true I'm standing here in front of you And you are here with me So unbelievable I'll never ever let you go My heart is yours for keeps Lets make a vow (make a vow baby) Right here and now (here and now)  
  
This is the day that I've prayed for And you are the girl of my dreams And my place in life is right here by your side on this day This very moment (this very moment)  
  
Today is you and I We celebrate a brand new life That God has given us Until the end of time I hold your precious hand in mine Promise you can trust.. These simple words Forever of my love for you  
  
This is the day that I've prayed for And you are the girl of my dreams And my place in life is right here by your side on this day  
  
This day was meant to be I need you desperately Through all eternity So perfect and so right I want to share my life I'm here by your side From now on  
  
This is the day that I've prayed for And you are the girl of my dreams And my place in life is right here by your side on this day This very moment This very moment This very moment  
  
I can't believe it's true I'm standing here in front of you And you are here with me This very moment  
  
"By the power invested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife," said the Minister "You may now kiss your bride"  
  
Rachel watched, her eyes were flooded with tears as Ross leaned forward and lifted her veil from in front of her face; He wiped away a tear and kissed her lips tenderly before whispering in her ear..  
  
"This is the day that I've prayed for Rachel, and you know you're the girl of my dreams so I promise to you, my heart is yours and only yours forever"  
  
She burst into tears immediately and Ross let out a little laugh "You weren't supposed to cry when I said that"  
  
Rachel was struggling to speak because she was crying and she could feel everyone's eyes burning into her as the guests watched this private moment between the new husband and wife.  
  
"I..I." blubbered Rachel, eventually just saying "Ditto"  
  
(Present time)  
  
"Rachel" said Monica, loudly, interrupting her  
  
"Sorry" said Rachel focusing "I was just thinking.."  
  
"About what?" asked Monica  
  
"Our wedding day" admitted Rachel "This song that Ross picked out, was playing when we were saying our vows...The lyrics were just so perfect and after we were pronounced husband and wife, Ross whispered into my ear a little quote from the song, he said 'This is the day that I've prayed for, you know you're the girl of my dreams and I promise to you, My heart is yours and only yours forever'"  
  
"I remember," said Monica "It was a beautiful song"  
  
"It was" said Rachel "I couldn't stand the thought of him giving his heart to this other woman"  
  
(Ross's Hotel Room)  
  
He was sitting by the window, looking out at the blue sky. .It had killed him seeing Rachel this morning, seeing her sad face, knowing he was the cause of it all. Since the day they got married, they were so happy, but then something changed, He had become a workaholic, jerk husband. What had happened??  
  
(Flashback)  
  
They were dancing their first dance as a married couple. Ross was leading Rachel around the dance floor when she paused for a second...  
  
"Are you happy?" she asked him, staring enquiringly into his eyes.  
  
"More then you'll ever know" said Ross "Why?"  
  
"Just wanted to make sure," said Rachel  
  
"I've never been so happy my entire life," said Ross "You heard what I said to you up there, you're the girl of my dreams"  
  
"Do you know how long I waited for you to come and sweep me off my feet again?" asked Rachel "It felt like forever, but I knew it was going to happen.One day"  
  
"When I stopped being such a jerk and admitted my feelings," said Ross  
  
"Promise me you'll never leave me," said Rachel "Never"  
  
"I promise," said Ross, kissing her "I will never leave your side, until the day I die"  
  
(Present time)  
  
Tears burned his eyes. He had broken so many promises lately, but that one really stuck out, He said he'd never leave her, not until the day he died.  
  
He suddenly made a decision and he picked up the phone.  
  
TBC 


	4. I'm Sorry

AN: I forgot to let you all know in previous chapters that I normally write under the nickname FriendsFanatic, but for some reason I was having trouble uploading so I created another account.  
  
(Continued on from previous chapter)  
  
The phone was ringing and ringing when it was suddenly snatched up.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Monica?" said Ross quietly  
  
"Ross!!" she replied, "Where the hell have you been?"  
  
"Hi to you too" said Ross  
  
"Don't hi me Ross" said Monica loudly "Where have you been the last week and a half and what the hell is wrong with you?"  
  
Ross sighed, "Nothing is wrong with me"  
  
"Nothing?" asked Monica "You cheated on your wife and then you ran away, leaving her a little note to let her know what you did and nothings wrong with you?"  
  
"Ok so there's something wrong with me" said Ross "I'm an asshole who is also a coward who deserves to be living in the gutters with the rats for what he did"  
  
"I wouldn't go that far," said Monica, softening up "I just can't believe you could do that to Rachel, Ross. How could you be with someone else? Rachel is your wife"  
  
"I know," said Ross "I can't believe I did it either ok, I was drunk, I didn't know what the hell I was doing, Amanda came.."  
  
"Amanda?" interrupted Monica "So it was this hot work colleague, Amanda was it?"  
  
"Who said she was hot?" asked Ross "No, that doesn't matter.What matters is that I haven't stop regretting it ever since, I left because I thought it was the best thing to do, Rachel deserves better then me and I didn't want to hurt her"  
  
"Well you've hurt her anyway Ross," said Monica "You've hurt her so much"  
  
"I know I've hurt her. I feel like killing myself for what I've done to her and the kids" said Ross "I'm so disgusted with myself, angry at myself."  
  
"You didn't answer my question before," said Monica, interrupting him "Where are you? Where have you been staying?"  
  
"Some hotel uptown" said Ross "I went home before"  
  
"You what?" said Monica "You went home?"  
  
"Yeah, to grab some stuff and I saw Rach, Em and Josh, walking to Emma's school and I was looking at Rach's face and she looked so sad, so depressed. I wanted to run over there and just hug her, make her better," said Ross "Why didn't you?" asked Monica  
  
"Yeah sure. Hi Honey, I'm back, I'm so sorry for cheating on you, Would it be ok if I hugged you now, stop the sadness and depression which by the way is all my fault and told you how much I love you?"  
  
"Funny" said Monica "Are you coming back?"  
  
"I don't know," said Ross "God knows I want too. I miss Rachel and the kids so much, but I know if I come back, it's going to cause more arguing, Rachel won't even want to speak to me, which she has every right to, I don't want to put them through any more. I hate myself enough as it is, I couldn't deal if I caused them anymore pain"  
  
"So you're just going to deprive your children of their father?" asked Monica  
  
"What good was I before?" asked Ross "I was never there, I was working 24/7. I couldn't keep a promise to my own daughter if my life depended on it, I made their mother upset...Maybe it's for the best if I just stay away"  
  
"I don't think I agree" said Monica "I understand what you mean about you don't want to cause Rachel and the kids anymore pain or sadness, but I think you need to face up to it. Stop being such a coward and get your ass home"  
  
"I don't want to upset Rachel anymore" said Ross "I hate knowing that I've caused her so much grief, She is the last person I ever wanted to hurt, I should have thought of her before I went near Amanda"  
  
"Too right you should have" said Monica "Rachel and Josh were here this morning"  
  
"I know," said Ross  
  
"How? Have you been spying on her or something?" asked Monica  
  
"What, No!!" said Ross "I was about to leave the apartment when her and Josh were coming up the stairs. She was talking to Josh about me, he asked her if I was going to be inside and she said no and he told her he wanted a Daddy cuddle, It broke my heart"  
  
"She's been a mess," said Monica "An absolute mess. Today was the first time I saw her smile and not in her sweatpants"  
  
"I feel so terrible," said Ross "This is the second time I've hurt her.I don't know what's wrong with me. Why did I do this? To someone who I love so much"  
  
"Only you know the answer to that," said Monica "But if you want my advice, I think you should hang up the phone right now, Call Rachel and talk to her"  
  
"I don't think I should do that," said Ross "She'll either hang up in my ear or scream obscenities at me" "We were talking today and she told me how much she still loves you, in spite of everything you've done and how much she misses you" said Monica "She started reminiscing about your wedding day and something you said to her up at the altar"  
  
"How my heart was hers and only hers forever," said Ross "I can still remember saying that, I did mean it you know. I haven't given my heart to anybody else"  
  
"That's one of the things she said, She couldn't deal if you had given your heart to this other woman" said Monica "Ross, I know I'm not very good with the advice but I'm better then Chandler or Joey so please, listen to me and call her...I really think you should"  
  
"Really?" asked Ross "What if."  
  
"Who cares about the what if's?" said Monica "There are way to many What if's to even think about. Do the right thing"  
  
"Is it the right thing though?" asked Ross  
  
"YES" said Monica "Be a man for Christ sakes, Stop being a pussy and phone your wife"  
  
"Ok..OK" said Ross "I'll do it, but Monica I swear to god, if you are wrong about this.."  
  
"You'll what?" asked Monica "Trust me, If you don't take the first step, take the chance that you might be able to rebuild your relationship, you're going to regret it for the rest of your life"  
  
"OK" said Ross "What am I going to say to her, how can I ever make up for what I did?"  
  
"Again, Only you can figure that out" said Monica "Call me after ok?"  
  
"Ok" said Ross "Bye"  
  
Ross hung up the phone and sat down on his bed, taking in deep breathes and wondering if what he was about to do was another one of those stupid mistakes he has a habit of making...He wasn't sure but he needed to get real and be a man.  
  
He dialled his and Rachel's number...His palms were sweating so much and he was hoping Joshua didn't answer the phone because he didn't want to get him all excited.  
  
The phone rang out until the answering machine and he debated wether to leave a message when the beep sounded. He decided to and began to talk  
  
(Ross and Rachel's Apartment)  
  
Rachel and Josh were walking towards the front door, Rachel heard the answering machine message saying they couldn't come to the phone right now and quickly fumbled for her keys. The door opened and the first thing she heard was  
  
*Beeeeeeeeeeep*  
  
"Rachel...Rachel it's me" came Ross's voice  
  
Rachel nearly dropped her groceries in shock  
  
"Daddy?" asked Josh, pointing at the phone  
  
"I guess you're not home. Ahh...it took a lot of courage for me to call you, after everything I have done but Rach I want you to know how very sorry I am, sorry for being unfaithful, sorry for running away, Sorry for being the way I've been lately. I honestly feel so terrible, I can't believe I could ever do this to someone who I love so much, and I do Rachel, I love you so much and I miss you and the kids. I am so, so sorry for leaving you, it was a snap decision and I realise now it was the wrong one to make. I don't want to talk to the machine anymore but I had to let you know how sorry I am, how much I love you and if you ever gave me the chance, I would do everything in my power to make it up to you, Emma and Josh. If you want to return this message, call my hotel on 555-8790 ok. Again, I love you and I really want to hear your voice. Bye"  
  
Rachel heard him hang up and wondering if she should have picked up the phone, she somehow couldn't bring herself to reach forward and pick up the receiver. She sat down on the couch, still with a shocked look on her face.  
  
"That was Daddy," said Josh  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel "It was."  
  
"Me talk now?" asked Josh  
  
"Not now Honey" said Rachel "It's naptime for you ok, Mommy needs some peace and quiet to think"  
  
"Ok" said Josh, heading through to his bedroom, Rachel following him where she helped him in the toilet and tucked him in his bed, pulling the blinds down to block out the sunlight  
  
"Sleep tight Sweetie" said Rachel "I love you"  
  
"Luf you too Momma" said Josh, with his thumb in his mouth.  
  
Rachel went out into the lounge room and played the message again, letting each word sink in. He said numerous times how sorry he was but she wondered if he was really..One part of her wanted to pick up the phone, call him and tell him to come home but another part of her wanted to call him, and tell him to stay out of her life.  
  
But another fact was that she couldn't, as much anger, hurt and betrayal she felt, there was no way that she could block him out of her life. He was her husband and her best friend. The person she had agreed to love for all eternity, to always be there for and to always make it work, no matter what went wrong.  
  
She put her head in her hands, as she pondered over what to do. He was right when he said that it took a lot of courage for him to call. It would take a lot of courage for her to call him back right now.  
  
All of a sudden she decided, he had the courage to call her, now she had to make the effort to call him back.  
  
She dialled the Hotel number, which took her to reception  
  
"Hello, Do you have a Ross Geller staying?" she asked when the phone was picked up  
  
"Yes, One moment please," said the receptionist and Rachel heard a series of beeps and buttons being pushed as he transferred her through.  
  
(Ross's Hotel Room)  
  
Ross was dozing on the bed when the phone rang.  
  
He quickly sat up on the bed, his heart racing as he realised who it could be. No one else knew he was here so it could either be Rachel or the Hotel Reception calling.  
  
He calmed himself down and picked up the phone, it nearly slipped out his hand and hit the floor as he grabbed it up. He lifted it to his ear  
  
"Hello" he said. His heart was nearly pounding its way out of his chest  
  
"Ross?" said Rachel "It's Rachel"  
  
"Rachel..Oh my god" said Ross "I didn't know if you were going to call"  
  
"I didn't know either," admitted Rachel "But.."  
  
"Ho, How are you?" asked Ross, struggling to get the words out  
  
"I've been better" said Rachel "No, I guess I'm ok"  
  
"That's good," said Ross "How are Emma and Joshua?"  
  
"Fine" said Rachel "Missing their Daddy but apart from that"  
  
"Tell them their Daddy misses them too" said Ross  
  
"Does he?" asked Rachel  
  
"Yes," said Ross "So much" "Ross..." said Rachel  
  
"Yes?" replied Ross  
  
"There's something I need to know," said Rachel  
  
"Ask me" said Ross  
  
"WHY?" asked Rachel  
  
"Why..." said Ross, going silent  
  
"That's all," said Rachel "It shouldn't be that hard to answer, everything you do, you do it for a reason"  
  
"I guess because I'm stupid," said Ross  
  
"Stupid?" asked Rachel "Is that all you can say?"  
  
"No" said Ross "Rachel, I was drunk, I wasn't thinking about anyone but myself. About how there was this woman there, and she was throwing herself at me. Something just took over my brain.."  
  
"Was it because of me?" asked Rachel quietly "Did I drive you to this? Was I such a bad wife that I drove you to do this?"  
  
"No, God no Rachel" said Ross "It wasn't you. You are the best wife any guy could possibly ask for, you're kind, you're caring, and you are a fantastic mother"  
  
"Stop" said Rachel  
  
"I won't stop" said Ross "You deserve all the praise you get because you truly are the most fabulous, loving person I have ever known..And I can't believe I hurt you so much"  
  
"You did," said Rachel "You hurt me so much...The amount of feelings I felt when I read that letter, I felt so much anger towards you, betrayal, and sadness. I felt so sad when I realised that my husband would rather be with someone else then me"  
  
"No, that's not how it is" interrupted Ross "Rach, I don't want to be with anyone else but you...You are the only person I will ever love, probably the only person that I have ever truly loved"  
  
"You keep saying that Ross" said Rachel "But what I don't understand is how can you love someone so much, yet you go out and be with someone else??"  
  
"I don't know," said Ross "I just had all these feelings, thoughts running through my head and I made a stupid, stupid mistake and I would do anything, anything to make it up to you. I hate myself for hurting you so much and I don't blame you at all, if you hate me too"  
  
Rachel sighed, "I want to hate you" she said "But I can't"  
  
"You can't?" asked Ross  
  
"No" said Rachel "I can't hate someone who I've loved for so long, the someone who gave me my children"  
  
"You still love me?" asked Ross  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel "I guess I do"  
  
"Soooo" said Ross  
  
"Sooo what?" asked Rachel "Spit it out"  
  
"Can I come around?" asked Ross "Maybe?"  
  
Rachel thought about it for a second "I don't think it's a good idea"  
  
"What? Why not?" asked Ross "I want to see you, prove to you how much I want to be with you and only you, I want to see my children, Rachel please"  
  
"I don't want you coming home and getting Emma and Josh all excited, they will think that you are home to stay and I don't think I am ready for that" said Rachel "I don't know when or if I will ever be ready for that"  
  
"I understand," said Ross quietly. His spirits had been lifted when she said she still loved him but hearing her say she didn't know if she could ever let him come home, just brought him all the way back down again "Can I at least speak to them on the phone?"  
  
"I guess so," said Rachel "Josh is sleeping now and Em's at school but if you call back later, she'll be home"  
  
"Ok, I will," said Ross  
  
"Ok" said Rachel  
  
There were a few moments of silence before Ross spoke again  
  
"I want to thank you Rachel, for having it in your heart to pick up the phone, for hearing me out. That's something a lot of other people in your position wouldn't have done, but you did because you are a fantastic person," said Ross "It means so much to me"  
  
"Ok" said Rachel. She really didn't know what else to say at this point.  
  
"I'll let you go then" said Ross "I'll call back at about 3:00 then"  
  
"No worries" said Rachel "Good bye"  
  
"Bye Rachel" said Ross, hanging up the phone with a sinking feeling in his chest.  
  
She was hurt, very hurt and he was going to have to work extremely hard to make her see how important she was to him and how much he wanted to make it up to her.  
  
(Ross and Rachel's Apartment- Later on in the afternoon)  
  
The phone rang and Rachel, knowing who it was likely to be, said to Emma who was colouring in her book "Do you want to answer that Sweetie?'  
  
"Nup" said Emma "I'm busy"  
  
Rachel smiled "Ok"  
  
She picked up the phone "Hello"  
  
"Hi" said Ross "How are you?"  
  
"Fine" said Rachel "Do you want your daughter?"  
  
"Yes, thanks," said Ross  
  
"Emma, There's someone on the phone for you" said Rachel, holding the receiver out  
  
"Is it Eliza?" asked Emma, standing up  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "Here"  
  
"Hello" said Emma  
  
"Hey Grasshopper" said Ross "How are you?"  
  
"Daddy?" asked Emma "Is that you?"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "How have you been Princess?"  
  
"Kinda good" said Emma "But I think I'm mad at you Daddy"  
  
"You are?" asked Ross  
  
"Yes, because you ran away in the middle of the night, without kissing me goodbye, you made Mommy cry and be all upset for days. You're mean," said Emma  
  
"I know Emma," said Ross "I did the wrong thing but I'm really sorry for it Sweetie"  
  
"Super dooper sorry?" asked Emma "Coz if you are, I might be able to forgive you"  
  
"Super, super, super dooper Sorry" said Ross "I really am"  
  
"Are you coming home?" asked Emma "I miss you"  
  
"I don't think so" said Ross "But I miss you too Em, It's nice to hear your voice"  
  
"Why aren't you coming home, if you miss me so much?" asked Emma  
  
"There's some things that Mommy and Daddy need to talk about," said Ross "I don't know when that's going to happen but I want it to be soon"  
  
"I want it to be soon too" said Emma "Maybe if you buy Mommy some flowers or a diamond ring she might talk to you sooner"  
  
Ross laughed, a half hearted laugh "I wish it was as easy at that, but it's not"  
  
"I know," said Emma sadly "I know Mommy's angry at you"  
  
"Yeah, but I'm trying Sweetie. I'm going to try my hardest to make it up to Mommy" said Ross "It might take some time though"  
  
"I'll talk to her for you" said Emma  
  
Rachel was sitting on the couch listening. A small smile crept onto her face as she heard her daughter say that. She knew how much Emma wanted her Daddy home.  
  
"Do you want to talk to Mommy?" asked Emma  
  
"If she wants to talk to me," said Ross  
  
"Mommy, do you want to talk to Daddy?" asked Emma, covering the mouthpiece "He's got something important to tell you"  
  
"Em" said Ross into the phone "Don't make up stuff"  
  
"He does Mommy," said Emma "Here"  
  
She said quickly into the phone "Bye Daddy, I love you lots ok. Here's Mommy"  
  
Before throwing the phone into Rachel's lap.  
  
"Hi" said Rachel "What did you have to tell me?"  
  
"Uhh, nothing really" said Ross "Emma just wanted you to talk to me"  
  
"Ohh" said Rachel "She's a sneaky little chica"  
  
"She is" said Ross "Actually, I do want to ask you something"  
  
"Yes" asked Rachel  
  
"I wanted to ask you if I could take you out to dinner tonight" said Ross "Like a date, I guess"  
  
"A date?" asked Rachel "Ross, I don't know if I'm ready to see you yet, I'm still not feeling the best about you."  
  
"But if you let me take you out, we can talk" said Ross "I really want to see you. Talk to you, face to face. Please?"  
  
"I..i suppose so" said Rachel, wondering if this was a smart decision.  
  
"Really?" said Ross "That's great. Can I pick you up?"  
  
"No" said Rachel "I'll meet you where ever we're going"  
  
"Fair enough" said Ross "How about Insomnia at 7pm?"  
  
"Sure" said Rachel "I'll see you there"  
  
"Great" said Ross "Rachel..."  
  
"Yeah" she said, just before she was about to hang up the phone  
  
"I love you," he said softly  
  
"I know," said Rachel, before hanging up the phone "I know you do"  
  
TBC 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5  
  
As soon as Rachel hung up the phone, She called Monica  
  
"Monica" she said, as soon as the phone was picked up "Mon, I need some advice or something"  
  
"Hey Rachel" said Monica "What do you need advice about?"  
  
Monica knew very well what she was most probably going to ask her..  
  
"Well, Ross called me today" said Rachel  
  
"And.." Said Monica "What did you talk about?"  
  
"He talked more then me" said Rachel "He told me how sorry he was, how he wants to make it up to me, how I am the only woman for him, blah, blah, blah"  
  
"Blah, Blah..." said Monica, confused "We're talking about getting your marriage back on track and you're saying blah, blah, blah?"  
  
"Do I want to get my marriage back on track though?" said Rachel "Right now, I'm not so sure"  
  
"Rachel, think clearly" said Monica  
  
"I am thinking clearly Monica" said Rachel "We are talking about the man who has been unfaithful to me TWICE, that is 2 times in our relationship history, How can I be so sure that it won't happen again, that he won't get drunk and let his penis do the thinking for him?"  
  
"It's a matter of you figuring out if you can build up the trust again Rachel" said Monica "Can you see yourself and Ross, moving on from this, working it out and being a family again?"  
  
"I don't know" said Rachel "I honestly don't know"  
  
"I'm sorry but that's all I can say," said Monica "You need to figure out the issues that will stop you from accepting his apology and moving on"  
  
"I know," said Rachel "But anyway, Can you do me a favour tonight?"  
  
"Yeah sure" said Monica  
  
"Can you mind Emma and Joshua for me?" said Rachel "I've got a date"  
  
"A DATE?" exploded Monica "Are you out of your mind, that is so inappropriate.."  
  
"Calm down Monica" said Rachel "A date with your brother"  
  
"Oh god" said Monica "Thank heavens for that. He asked you to go to dinner then?"  
  
"Yes," said Rachel "And I don't know if saying yes was the right thing to do"  
  
"Why not?" asked Monica "This can be step number 1, take it one day at a time, nice and slow"  
  
"Monica, you sound like a counsellor," said Rachel  
  
Monica thought about it for a second "Maybe I should have been a counsellor instead of a chef"  
  
"Sure, You are GREAT to talk too" said Rachel "So I'm going to see him tonight, would you be able to watch the kids for me?"  
  
"Of course" said Monica "Do you want me to have them for the night?"  
  
"No, just the evening" said Rachel  
  
"Ok" said Monica "What are you going to talk about tonight?"  
  
"I don't know" said Rachel "I'm really nervous, because I know that I'm going to be feeling really uncomfortable around him"  
  
"He's your husband Rachel, someone you've been around for like 15 years. Why would you be uncomfortable?" asked Monica  
  
"Because, every time I look at him, all I will be able to see is him with this other woman" said Rachel "And it creeps me out, it makes me feel sick inside when I think about it"  
  
"Don't focus on that, focus on Ross and only Ross" said Monica "Picture yourself with him, doing things, that'd be better wouldn't it?"  
  
"Yeah, until that bitches face pops up in between us and starts kissing my husband" said Rachel "God, it absolutely kills me.."  
  
"I know," said Monica "Off that subject ok...What time will you bring Em and Josh over?"  
  
"About 6:30" said Rachel  
  
"Looking forward to it" said Monica "Chandler's been irritating me lately so it will be nice to have a girl to talk to"  
  
"All Emma will want to talk about is how she wants her dad home" said Rachel "Ross was talking to her today and she pretended that he had something important to tell me, just so I would get on the phone and talk to him"  
  
"That's so sweet," said Monica "She's playing matchmaker"  
  
"Yeah, really sweet. Trying to shove us back together" said Rachel sarcastically "No, She is beautiful and a Little Sweetie"  
  
"I'm so glad I've got Taylah now" said Monica, "Little Boys are the best but every woman wants a daughter that they can dress all pretty and do their hair etc. I can't wait for all that. When she grows some hair that is"  
  
"Yeah, girls are great but I wouldn't be without my little spunky boy" said Rachel, looking at Josh who was building something out of blocks, his tongue sticking out of his mouth while he concentrated "Anyway I better go. It's like 4pm and I need to get the kids some dinner before they go to your place and calm my nerves down"  
  
"Ok" said Monica "I'll see you in a while"  
  
"Bye" said Rachel, hanging up the phone and sitting on the couch  
  
"Are you going out with Daddy tonight Mommy?" asked Emma, being nosy  
  
"I am" said Rachel "And you and Josh are going to Aunty Monica's"  
  
"Yay" said Emma "Will Daddy be here when I wake up in the morning"  
  
"No honey" said Rachel "I'm sorry"  
  
"When will he be home?" asked Emma "I want him to be at home with us"  
  
"Because something's need to be sorted first Emma" said Rachel "I'm not getting into it"  
  
"Why?" asked Emma  
  
"Because it's grown up stuff" said Rachel "You wouldn't understand Sweetie"  
  
"Try Me," said Emma  
  
"No..God Emma where did you learn to speak like such a grown up?" asked Rachel  
  
"I don't know," said Emma "Will you give Daddy a kiss for me?"  
  
Rachel screwed up her face, there sure as hell wasn't going to be any kissing going on tonight "Sure I will"  
  
"Good" said Emma "What are you wearing?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel, wondering how she ever got a daughter who could act so grown up at 7 years old  
  
"Can I help you choose?" asked Emma "I love clothes"  
  
"I guess you can," said Rachel "Come on"  
  
They went into the master bedroom, leaving Josh in the living room and Emma went straight into the cupboard..  
  
"I like this" she said, pulling out a black, V-necked dress  
  
"No, that's not really right," said Rachel "Something less dressy"  
  
"This?" said Emma, holding out a pair of beige pants  
  
"Yeah maybe" said Rachel, sitting down on the bed  
  
"And this" said Emma, as she pulled out a black top with a v-neck & flowing sleeves.  
  
"Very good Honey" said Rachel "Now shoes"  
  
"Ummm" said Emma, peering into the bottom of the cupboard "These"  
  
She held out a pair of black heels "Mommy, you have too many shoes"  
  
"I know" said Rachel "They'll do. Wow Emma, Do you want a job at Ralph Lauren?"  
  
"YES" said Emma "I want to be a fashion person like you"  
  
""Well in about 10 years, I'll get you a job ok Sweetie?" said Rachel "Now, can I get dressed in peace?"  
  
"Yes," said Emma "Come and show me when you are dressed ok?"  
  
"Sure" said Rachel, pushing her out the door "Bye bye"  
  
"Mommy wait" said Emma, pausing in the doorway  
  
"What Sweetie?" said Rachel  
  
"I want you to look beautiful for Daddy tonight, so then he will fall even more in love with you and come home" said Emma "Like a princess"  
  
"I'll try," said Rachel "Go on"  
  
Rachel shut the door and sat down in an armchair, Emma was so much like her it wasn't funny, in the fashion aspect; She was much more like her father in the clever, bookish aspect.  
  
She thought about what could possibly happen tonight, What was Ross going to say to her, what could he tell her that he hadn't already said, and what was she going to say to him?  
  
She was feeling a mixture of feelings, nerves, the anticipation of seeing someone who she hadn't seen for 10 days, someone who she wasn't even sure she wanted to see but she knew if she had to at least make the effort, it wouldn't be fair to her or Emma and Josh if she didn't..  
  
(Insomnia Café- Evening)  
  
Ross paced in the doorway of the restaurant, looking at his watch. They'd said 7pm and it was now 7:08 and Rachel wasn't here. He held in one hand, a bunch of Lilies, lifting them to his nose, they smelled beautiful, Rachel's favourite flowers.  
  
He looked down the pavement and saw Rachel walking up. She looked amazing as she walked towards him, much better then when he saw her the other day, Her hair was down and framing her face. She took his breath away.  
  
Rachel breathed deeply as she approached him, She was late because she had to convince Josh that Jamie wouldn't eat him when he got to Monica's for some unknown reason and then she couldn't get a cab from Monica's to here for 10 minutes so she was slightly grumpy and worn out already.  
  
She could see him staring at her as she got closer and she tried to calm her nerves by breathing in and out slowly. She was fiddling with her handbag when she reached him  
  
"Hi" he said, leaning forward as if to kiss her causing Rachel to recoil back slightly  
  
"Sorry, Sorry" said Ross quickly, realising his mistake  
  
"It's ok," said Rachel  
  
"These are for you," said Ross, handing her the flowers "You look great by the way"  
  
"Thankyou" said Rachel "You know Lilies are my favourite"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "That's why I got them"  
  
"Oh well thankyou" said Rachel  
  
"Do you want to go inside?" asked Ross, gesturing to the doorway  
  
"Ok" said Rachel  
  
They approached the Maitre D, Ross saying "Table for two under the name of Geller"  
  
"Right this way" he said, pointing to their table.  
  
Rachel walked in front of Ross and he couldn't help but stare at her butt as she walked, it looked amazing in those pants.  
  
"Here we are" said the Maitre D  
  
Ross pulled Rachel's chair out for her and she sat down, Ross sat down opposite her.  
  
"Here are your menu's," said the Maitre D "Someone will be back for your order"  
  
"Thank you very much," said Rachel, flashing her million dollar smile  
  
"Cosy back here isn't it," joked Ross "Little Love nest"  
  
"It is" said Rachel, raising her eyebrows slightly "Nice place" "Someone from work recommended it to me" said Ross, jumping in quickly with "Someone being James, a man"  
  
Rachel nodded, taking a sip of her water.  
  
"Can I take your order now?" asked a Waitress who had approached the table  
  
Rachel and Ross both opened their menu's.  
  
"I will have the Caesar Salad, with a side of Croutons," said Rachel "And then the Salmon"  
  
"And I will have the Pumpkin soup and then the Salmon too" said Ross "And a bottle of Wine"  
  
"Oh, I don't want any wine," said Rachel "Water's fine for me"  
  
"Ok then" said Ross "Make that a jug of water with a spritz of lemon"  
  
"Ok, that will be about 20 minutes," said the Waitress "Can I get you any bread?"  
  
"No, that's fine," said Ross, before remembering to ask Rachel "I'm sorry, did you want some bread?"  
  
"No" said Rachel "Thankyou"  
  
They sat in silence for a few minutes, Rachel looking everywhere but at him.  
  
Ross got fed up so he broke the silence and began to talk.  
  
"Rachel, you look amazing tonight," he said  
  
"Thanks" said Rachel "I'm actually feeling better today"  
  
"Good" said Ross "So, where is Emma and Josh tonight?"  
  
"They're at Monica's" said Rachel "I'm going to pick them up later"  
  
Ross nodded slowly "So the reason I wanted to have dinner with you tonight, well it was so I could talk to you face to face, Find out where you are in all of this, Try and convince you how truly sorry I am.."  
  
"I know all this," said Rachel "You told me on the phone"  
  
"Yes, but I want to tell you again, looking at you" said Ross "I can't even begin how to explain how sorry I am Rachel. This past week or so has been hell for me."  
  
"Hell for you?" interrupted Rachel "Well it's been hell for me too Ross. Hell for me, Hell for Emma and Josh as they wondered why the hell their Daddy up and left them"  
  
"I know, I know," said Ross "I can't believe how much this has impacted them, I wasn't thinking when I made my decision, all I was thinking about was how hurt you were going to be and how I didn't want to be around to see it"  
  
"And you weren't" said Rachel "You weren't there to explain it to me, I had to read it in a letter, a letter that didn't even properly explain why it happened, you weren't there to comfort me when I was crying"  
  
"Would you have honestly wanted me there?" asked Ross  
  
"It would have been better, if you had just come to me and told me Ross" admitted Rachel "Stood up and admitted 'I've done something stupid, I've made a mistake'. I would have still been hurt, I would have still been angry but I would have at least given you some credit for having the courage to admit it to my face"  
  
"I'm a coward," said Ross "But the reason I didn't stick around was because I can't bear to see you hurt, see you angry. I don't like looking at you when you're unhappy, even more when I know that I was the cause"  
  
Rachel played with her napkin as he spoke, she was listening but she couldn't look at his face. She eventually looked up, when he stopped talking and saw him staring at her, with a sad look on his face.  
  
"Can you tell me what you're thinking?" asked Ross "Is this the end of everything? Have I ruined the only relationship I've ever had, where the person means as much to me as you do?"  
  
Rachel's lips trembled and she felt tears suddenly spring to her eyes and tip over. Two single tears slid down her face as she looked into his eyes...  
  
"I don't know" she said softly "This may have been the last straw"  
  
"No" said Ross. He shuffled his chair over next to her and took both of her hands into his "Please don't say that Rachel. Don't do this to me"  
  
"I'm sorry," said Rachel, Tears were now flowing freely as she spoke.  
  
A voice suddenly interrupted them "Ross!!"  
  
Ross looked up and got a horrified look on his face "Amanda"  
  
Rachel also looked up and saw a petite brunette, standing next to Ross. Her hand on his arm  
  
"Hi stranger" said Amanda, looking for a crying Rachel then back to Ross "How are you?"  
  
"I'm Fine," said Ross, moving so Amanda's hand slid of his arm  
  
He looked at Rachel who was staring at Amanda, a puzzled look on her tearstained face  
  
"This must be Rachel then?" said Amanda, leaning forward and grabbing Rachel's hand, leaving her shocked "I'm Amanda, Ross's Colleague"  
  
"Hello" said Rachel, wondering why this woman was still standing here when she could clearly tell they were in the middle of something.  
  
"Amanda, We're sort of in the middle of something," said Ross, speaking up  
  
"So I see," said Amanda  
  
"So" said Ross, prompting her  
  
"I haven't seen you since Mike's party" said Amanda "Why haven't you been into work?"  
  
"Personal reasons" said Ross "Amanda, I think you should leave us alone now"  
  
Rachel was just staring at Amanda, who appeared to be unable to take her eyes of Ross, Rachel was sensing Ross' discomfort and it suddenly all made sense.  
  
"This is her isn't it?" she mumbled  
  
"Rachel" said Ross  
  
"Oh so you told her?" asked Amanda "Wow, that must have been very brave of you"  
  
Rachel's blood was boiling as she looked at the cheap slut who had convinced her husband to stray. She fumbled for her purse, finding it and standing up, forcing Ross who was blocking her way to move  
  
"I've gotta go" said Rachel,  
  
"No, Rachel" said Ross, reaching for her arm  
  
"Don't!!" said Rachel, shaking him off "You can call tomorrow and talk to your son and daughter and explain to them why you won't be coming home"  
  
"Rachel.." Pleaded Ross "Sit back down"  
  
Rachel looked at him for a moment, before storming off towards the entrance, before she stared crying again in front of both of them.  
  
She walked out the door and stopped, sinking into a bench, which was meant for people waiting for service.  
  
She sucked in breaths, feeling like she was going to hyperventilate as a wave of emotions came over her. Seeing whom Ross had cheated on her with brought everything back up to the surface. She didn't know what had caused the outburst of anger but it frightened her.  
  
Meanwhile Ross was still standing at their table, shocked at what had just happened. This was supposed to be the first step in him gaining her forgiveness, instead Amanda had to come and rear her ugly head and ruin everything.  
  
"She's sweet Ross," said Amanda smugly "Gorgeous too"  
  
"Yeah, I know Amanda," said Ross "Listen to me now ok, read my lips. You stay away from me, and you stay away from my wife. What happened between us was nothing, a stupid, stupid mistake. You mean nothing to me, absolutely nothing"  
  
"Really?" asked Amanda "I could have you fired you know, I am younger then you after all, I'll say you took advantage of me"  
  
"I really don't care," said Ross "Now do me a favour and get out of my way while I go after my wife"  
  
He pushed her out the way and ran towards the entrance, leaving Amanda staring at him dumbfounded.  
  
He ran out the double doors, looking at both sides and seeing Rachel sitting a few feet away, her head in her hands.  
  
"Rachel" he called, running up to her  
  
She looked up and Ross had never seen such a look on her face before. She stood up and walked in the other direction  
  
"Rachel" he called, running behind her and grabbing her arm gently "Please stop"  
  
"Did you even look at her before you kissed her?" said Rachel angrily, turning around  
  
"What?" asked Ross "Why?"  
  
"She's awful Ross," said Rachel "She's not even pretty"  
  
"I know" said Ross "She's not prettier then you"  
  
"Stop it ok" said Rachel loudly "You keep raining all this praise on me and I'm starting to wonder if it's all just to suck up my ass and get back home"  
  
"I'm not doing that," said Ross, looking at the pavement "I just want things to be better, I want you to tell me that you forgive me, I want to see a smile on your face again"  
  
"You can't just click your fingers and make everything better" said Rachel sadly, "It doesn't work like that"  
  
"Can't I at least try?" asked Ross "Rachel, tell me what I have to do to make it up to you, I will do anything"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel, wiping her eyes  
  
"You can't stand there and tell me you don't know Rachel," said Ross "Because I know you, I know how many thoughts would be running through your mind right now, Can you find it in your heart to forgive me? Is it worth me taking further steps to regain your trust?"  
  
Rachel sat down on a bench under a large tree "I just feel so messed up right now Ross"  
  
"I understand but can't you see how much you mean to me?" said Ross, sitting down next to her "If Amanda meant anything to me at all, do you think I would be sitting her with you?"  
  
Rachel shrugged her shoulders "I don't know. I don't know what goes on in your mind lately but I do know that I want to go home"  
  
"We haven't even had dinner yet," said Ross  
  
"I'm not in the mood to eat," said Rachel, starting to stand up "I'm sorry"  
  
"Wait" said Ross. He stood up and held her by the shoulders  
  
"What?" asked Rachel  
  
Ross leaned in and kissed her lips gently "I meant what I said Rachel, all you need to do is think about it, I'll wait for you for as long as it takes"  
  
Rachel backed away, shocked.  
  
She moved a few feet away saying "I will" before she walked up the street without turning back.  
  
Ross sat back down on the bench, rubbing his temples and wondering, "Why does everything have to be so hard?"  
  
TBC 


	6. Chapter 6

AN: In response to exintaris's review said "What kind of a name is Taylah", Taylah is actually a more feminine version of Taylor and is much more commonly used then Taylor for a girl in Australia, and it is also my niece's name so that's why I used it. I also am well aware that Monica's favourite name is Emma, but it's my fic so I put in names I like, lol.Ok  
  
Chapter 5  
  
"What am I going to do?" asked Ross  
  
Him, Chandler and Joey were all in Joey and Phoebe's apartment. It is early morning, 2 days after the disaster date and Ross hasn't spoken to Rachel since  
  
"I feel like I should speak to her, but I also think I should give her some space" said Ross, staring glumly into his glass  
  
"You want advice?" asked Joey  
  
"Yeah, I guess," said Ross  
  
"Ok, Well first of all, you should never have slept with Amanda," said Joey  
  
"Some advice I already don't know would be helpful Joe," said Ross  
  
"I'm getting there" said Joey "Second of all, You need to get in there and show her how much she means to you, Take her away somewhere, rekindle the romance"  
  
"Quit your job," said Chandler  
  
"Quit my job?" said Ross "That's going to go down well, I've quit my job so our income will go way down, How would you like to eat baked beans for dinner every night honey? I can't do that"  
  
"Yes, but by quitting your job, you are completely getting away from this Amanda woman" said Chandler "Rachel won't be worrying that every time you go to work, you are associating with the other woman"  
  
Ross pondered over it for a second "Yeah, you have a point"  
  
"The man does have a point," said Joey nodding in agreement  
  
"That is really common sense Ross," said Chandler "I can't believe you didn't think of that before"  
  
"Well I've had a lot of other things on my mind lately" said Ross defensively "I need to go into work today sometime, they think I've been ill for 2 weeks"  
  
"Take my advice man," said Joey "Quit"  
  
"Your advice?" asked Chandler "I'm the one who said that" "Sure" said Joey, turning away from Chandler and facing Ross. He pointed to himself and nodded "My advice"  
  
"I love my job though," said Ross  
  
"Yes but who do you love more, your job or your Wife?" said Chandler "Think about it"  
  
(Ross's Work)  
  
Ross entered the building where his office was; he went up a level in the elevator and was just stepping out when he bumped into his boss  
  
"Professor Geller" he said, "You're back"  
  
"About that.." Began Ross  
  
"Before you speak, there's something we need to discuss" said Professor Williams "Follow me"  
  
Ross followed him into his office and sat opposite him...  
  
"Ross, We've had some allegations about you" began Professor Williams  
  
"Let me guess, Amanda Jacobs" said Ross "Is that right?"  
  
"So you are aware of what I'm talking about then?" asked Professor Williams  
  
"Depends on what she told you," said Ross "What were these 'Allegations' "  
  
"Amanda came into my office, extremely upset yesterday, She revealed that you two were involved briefly, but then you took advantage of her 2 weeks ago at Mike's Party. She claims got her drunk and then took advantage of her"  
  
"Come on," said Ross "Seriously? She's lying, She said to me she was going to do something like this"  
  
"These are serious allegations Ross," said Professor Williams  
  
"I realize that," said Ross "But I'll tell you right now, Amanda is the most deceitful person I have ever met, saying I took advantage of her is a load of crap. We were both intoxicated and she came on to me"  
  
"So something was going on between you too?" asked Professor Williams "Aren't you married with a family?"  
  
"Yes," admitted Ross "It was a drunken mistake but I assure you, She was as willing as anyone. I did not take advantage of her in any way"  
  
"Then there's another matter to be sorted out then if you two were involved," said Professor Williams "You cannot date another member of staff, I thought you knew that"  
  
"I do" said Ross "And we didn't date, it was just something completely stupid that I did...we weren't technically involved"  
  
"So from what you're saying, I'm understanding you two slept together?" asked Professor Williams "True or false"  
  
"True I guess," said Ross, shamefully  
  
"That puts your employment here in serious jeopardy Ross" said Professor Williams "I think I believe you more then I believe Amanda, that you didn't take advantage of her because I have heard about her. But what were you thinking Ross, you took a big risk, you could be looking at a dismissal once this reaches the top"  
  
"Dismissal?" said Ross "You mean, I could get fired"  
  
"Yes," said Professor Williams "Most probably"  
  
"Well you know what, I'll save you the hassle" said Ross "I quit"  
  
"You quit?" asked Professor Williams  
  
"Yes" said Ross "I'll hand in my resignation right now, I have more important things to worry about right now then coming in here, having people think I am some sleaze ball who takes advantage of his co-workers. I'd rather put all my energy into patching things up with my wife"  
  
"Are you sure about this?" asked Professor Williams "Once this gets out, you resigning is going to make people think you are guilty"  
  
"I don't care," said Ross "They can believe what they want. 2 people know what really went on in that office that night, Amanda and myself, I know the truth and I honestly don't care what anyone else believes"  
  
"You are one of our most dedicated Professors," said Professor Williams "I have really enjoyed working with you"  
  
"And I have with you" said Ross "But this is something that I need to do, focus my time on the more important things to me, my family"  
  
"Good luck then," said Professor Williams, standing up and shaking Ross's hand "But I have to warn you, there could be some sort of an investigation into Amanda's allegations"  
  
"I'll deal with that when it comes along," said Ross  
  
"Goodbye Ross" said Professor Williams "And good luck with whatever you need to do"  
  
"I'll need all the luck I can get I think" said Ross, walking towards the door "Thankyou"  
  
He left the office and actually felt free. Chandler was right, this was something that needed to be done and once Rachel heard that there was going to be no interaction at all between him and Amanda, it could give her some more reassurance.  
  
He decided, against Rachel's wishes that he was going to go to their Apartment, He wanted to see her and he wanted to see his kids more then ever. All she could do was slam the door in his face but he didn't think that would be the case.  
  
(Rachel's Apartment)  
  
Rachel was having a sleep in with Emma and Josh, lying in the middle of the bed with one on either side of her, stroking their faces. They both looked like little angel's lying there, She could see how people could know that Emma was her daughter, she had the same facial structure, same coloured hair but Josh looked like his Daddy, same dark hair and goofy little smile.  
  
Josh suddenly opened his eyes and they looked with Rachel's.  
  
"Mommy" he said softly, rubbing his eyes  
  
"Hey spunky" said Rachel "Did you have a nice sleep?"  
  
"Yea" he said, "Where's daddy?"  
  
"Daddy's not here Josh," said Rachel  
  
"Ohhh" he said, "Where's he gone?"  
  
"He's staying somewhere else for awhile," said Rachel  
  
"I wanna say Hi," said Josh, sitting up  
  
"Maybe later" said Rachel  
  
"Now" said Josh loudly  
  
"It's only 10am Josh" said Rachel "You can say Hi later"  
  
"I wanna now," said Joshua in whiny voice  
  
"Josh" said Rachel "Listen to what Mommy is saying, you can say Hi to Daddy later"  
  
Emma sat up then, she was awake and listening and wanted to put her 2 cents in  
  
"I want to call Daddy now too" she said, "And I want to see Daddy"  
  
"Yes, See Daddy" said Josh  
  
Rachel was saved from being ganged up on by her children as she heard a knock on the door. She got out of bed, pulling on a short robe on over her nightgown and walked to the front door, opening it to find a Delivery guy  
  
"Yes" she said, pulling her robe around herself tighter  
  
"Delivery for Rachel Geller" he said, leaning down out of sight and holding up a huge bunch of Lilies in a Vase  
  
"Wow" said Rachel in awe, they were absolutely beautiful  
  
"Just sign here," he said, pushing forward a pad  
  
Rachel signed and took the Vase out of his hands "Who are they from?"  
  
"I don't know," he said, shrugging his shoulder's "Have a nice day"  
  
Rachel shut the door and sat the Vase down on the table, there was a purple card sticking out of the bunch. She opened it up and read it  
  
Rachel, Just a little something because I wanted to brighten up your day. I'm sorry for what happened the other night; it didn't turn out the way I planned so I'm very sorry. I'm going to call you later, because I want to talk to you and I really want to see Emma and Josh, I haven't seen them for 2 weeks and I really miss them. Enjoy your day, I will talk to you later and remember, only you can determine what happens next Rachel, the ball is in your court.. I love you always, Ross  
  
Rachel sat down on the couch, the card still in her hand. He was absolutely right, He had made his feelings perfectly clear, and now it was up to her to make the decision, Was she prepared to have another go or was she going to throw it all away? That was something that she wasn't quite sure of yet..  
  
Emma and Josh came through from the bedroom,  
  
"WOW" said Emma  
  
"I know," said Rachel  
  
"Where did they come from?" asked Emma, smelling the Lilies.  
  
"Your Dad" said Rachel  
  
"Are they for you or me?" asked Emma seriously  
  
"Me, Sweetie" laughed Rachel  
  
"Oh" said Emma "Ok"  
  
Rachel heard another knock on the door and opened it, surprised to see Ross standing there..  
  
"Rachel, before you say anything, I know you didn't want me seeing Emma and Josh yet but.."  
  
"Daddddddy" screamed Emma, running to the door and throwing herself at Ross, followed closely by Joshua  
  
He looked at Rachel with an expectant look on his face, he knew she was going to be angry because she told him she didn't want him coming around just yet "But I couldn't help it, I'm sorry"  
  
"It's ok," said Rachel, opening the door wider and letting him inside, He had Emma under one arm and Josh under the other "Come in"  
  
"I see you got the flowers," said Ross  
  
"I did" said Rachel "I love them, Thankyou"  
  
"My pleasure" said Ross, sitting on the couch "I've got something to tell you"  
  
"What?" asked Rachel hesitantly, fearing more bad news.  
  
"I quit my job," said Ross  
  
"You what?" said Rachel "Why did you do that?"  
  
"Because I realised that If I want to put all my time and energy into you and the kids, a job was going to get in the way" said Ross "And I know that you would be feeling strange, knowing I was at work and having to associate with Amanda, so I did what I thought needed to be done"  
  
He didn't really think it was necessary to tell her he was at risk of being fired anyway.  
  
"Are you serious?" said Rachel "But you love your job"  
  
"I do" said Ross "But I love you more"  
  
Rachel looked at the floor, one more thing that proved what he was willing to do to get her back, to make her happy and to make her comfortable. Some part of her wanted to go, wrap her arms around him and kiss him but there was also the part of her that kept reminding her of what he did and made her not want to embrace him, not forgive him, be angry and be hurt.  
  
"I don't know what to say," said Rachel, sinking into an armchair.  
  
"You don't have to say anything," said Ross  
  
Rachel nodded slowly. She looked at Emma who was lost in the moment, her arms were wrapped around Ross as if she didn't want to let go and she was staring at him, at a figure that she hadn't set eyes on for 2 weeks. It was although she didn't want to stop looking at him in case he slipped out again. Josh was sitting on Ross's other side, playing with his collar.  
  
"It's so good to see you guys again," said Ross, breaking the moment of silence "I've missed you so much"  
  
"We've missed you too Daddy," said Emma "Are you here for keeps?"  
  
Ross looked at Rachel who gave him a vacant look back. "I don't know grasshopper, but it's great to be here right now with you"  
  
Josh slid off the couch and grabbed Ross's hand "Come to my room"  
  
"Have you got something to show me?" asked Ross, standing up  
  
"Yes" said Joshua, still gripping his hand "Now"  
  
"OK" said Ross, looking at Rachel who was lost in thought before following him into his bedroom.  
  
Emma jumped off the couch and climbed into Rachel's lap  
  
"Please can he come home Mommy?" she pleaded "Tonight?"  
  
"Emma, I can't get into it," said Rachel "You don't understand what's going on and it's just not that easy"  
  
"But he bought you flowers" said Emma "I told him a diamond.."  
  
"Flowers don't just make up for things Emma, presents don't change what has happened" said Rachel "It's complicated, adult stuff and I don't really want to talk about it right now with you Honey"  
  
"But he is my Daddy" said Emma "You aren't letting him come home and it's not fair"  
  
"Emma" said Rachel, standing up and dropping her on the couch "I'm doing what I think needs to be done, it's not all Bert and Ernie, everyone's happy ok..there are things that need to sorted, things that need to be patched up before he comes home"  
  
"Fine" said Emma, crossing her arms with a sulky look on her face  
  
"I'm sorry Sweetie but that's the way it is" said Rachel "I'm going to go and have a shower, tell your Dad when he comes out, that's where I am ok?"  
  
Emma ignored her,  
  
"Thanks" said Rachel, sighing and heading through to the bathroom.  
  
She walked past Josh's room and saw Ross and him sitting on the floor, they were playing with some huge dinosaurs and making noises, Joshua was laughing hysterically.  
  
She kept walking into the bathroom where she stood under the shower for 20 minutes, letting the soothing, hot water run down her tired and knotted up body.  
  
She massaged her neck with her hands, her face screwing up in pain as she felt all the knots and twists in her muscles, she'd been so tensed up lately and now realised she needed to visit a chiropractor.  
  
She turned off the water and rubbed a huge, furry towel around her before walking out into the bedroom to get dressed.  
  
She was looking through the closet for something to wear when she heard the bedroom door open, then close again.  
  
"Emma" she called, stepping out of the closet and coming face to face with Ross.  
  
"Shit" she said loudly, nearly letting go of her towel "You scared me"  
  
"Sorry" he said, holding up his hands "I thought you were in the bathroom so I was just going to grab some more clothes"  
  
"Ohh" she said, keeping a tight grip on the towel "Ok"  
  
She bent over carefully, to pick up the pair of pants she had dropped in fright, crying out a little as her muscles let her know they weren't happy.  
  
"What's the matter?" asked Ross, coming to her side  
  
"Nothing" said Rachel, back in a standing position "I need to see my chiropractor, I'm a little tense and knotted up"  
  
"Come here" said Ross, taking her hand and sitting her down on the bed  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Rachel, aware that she was still completely naked underneath her towel  
  
Ross sat behind her and she jumped as she felt his hands touch her neck, massaging gently into all the sore spots.  
  
"Is this ok?" he asked, a little unsure of wether or not he should be touching her "It feels great," admitted Rachel, flinching as he hit a sore spot "And also a little painful"  
  
"I'm sorry but you've got to get right in there if you want to get the knots out" said Ross  
  
"Keep going," said Rachel, she could feel herself letting her guard with him down a little but right now, all she could think about was the nice, smooth hands, massaging her.  
  
Ross meanwhile, was getting a little turned on by this, him touching her smooth, golden skin. He realised how long it had been since they had made love, it would have to have been about 5 months, probably even longer.  
  
Rachel felt all her tense feelings, slipping away as his fingers worked her. He had always been so good at massages and back when things were good, he used to treat her to a romantic massage with candles and oils at least 3 times a week.  
  
"Is that better?" he asked, his fingers stopping as he moved and sat next to her on the bed  
  
"Much" she said, "That was excellent"  
  
"I aim to please" he replied with a laugh.  
  
Their eyes locked for a moment,  
  
"God, you're beautiful," said Ross, touching her cheek "You're everything I could have ever wanted and more"  
  
"Ross, stop," said Rachel "Come on"  
  
"Come on what" he said "This is driving me crazy, I want us to be together so much, I love you"  
  
"I know you do," said Rachel "But things have changed..."  
  
"Let me kiss you," said Ross, interrupting her  
  
"I don't really think it's a good idea," said Rachel, but she was silenced as she felt his lips touch hers, where they stayed for a moment or two.  
  
Ross pulled away and looked at her, her eyes were half closed as if she hadn't even realised he'd stopped kissing her.  
  
She opened them fully and stared at him "You kissed me"  
  
"Yeah, I guess I did" he said, "I'm sorry, it was an impulse"  
  
Rachel was sitting, her shoulder's hunched over as she stared at her hands, which were sitting in her lap. Him kissing her, had made her wonder even more, about what her decision was going to be, there was no doubt in her mind, how much she still loved him, she loved him so much it hurt but something was stopping her from admitting she wanted them to be together...  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked, touching her chin and lifting her head up  
  
She nodded, and Ross looked at her face and saw tears brimming in her eyes  
  
"Why are you crying?" he asked,  
  
"I don't know," replied Rachel "I'm a very emotional person, you know that"  
  
"I do," said Ross "And I want to make you feel better"  
  
He pulled her face closer to his and once again kissed her on the lips, this time a little firmer, with a little more passion. He then kissed her tears away gently, before kissing her lips again.  
  
Rachel felt herself melting and without thinking, pulled him closer to her and kissed him back. She ran her hands through his hair, and down until the settled on the back of his neck, she kept a firm grip, holding him close.  
  
Ross leaned forward slightly, forcing Rachel's body back and she leaned all the way back until she was lying down on the bed, pulling Ross with her. They continued kissing until they were both breathless and Ross stopped, pulling himself up onto his elbows and looked into her eyes.  
  
"Is this what you want?" he asked quietly, brushing a lock of wet hair away from her face  
  
"I don't know what I want," said Rachel "But I think it could be you"  
  
"Are you sure?" he asked, before they did something she might regret.  
  
Rachel didn't reply, just pulled him back down to her...  
  
They made out for another few minutes, before Ross felt her pulling at his sweater, trying to get it off; He sat up and pulled it off himself, and felt Rachel's hands fumbling with his belt and jeans zipper.  
  
Something made him wonder if this was the reconciliation he had been hoping for, or if this was just them having sex. If this meant that she had made her decision and it was what he had wanted or if this was the last time they would ever make love.  
  
He was about to ask her, but lust took over, he wanted her and that was all that mattered, they could talk about it later.  
  
Rachel was stripping him down frantically, and he undid the towel that had been wrapped tight around her body and dropped it carelessly over the edge of the bed, leaving her naked underneath him. He looked down at her body, something he hadn't seen in awhile and as always, it blew his mind.  
  
They went through the normal motions; their eyes were locked the whole time except when they were kissing, both of them reaching their climax, quickly and quietly..  
  
Is this a new beginning?  
  
TBC  
  
RossnRachel4eva: I took your suggestion, I was planning on having him quit somewhere later on but seen as you suggested it, I put it in this chapter. Thanks : - ) 


	7. New Beginning or Beginning of the End?

AN: Thank you all so much for the reviews, it makes it worth continuing :-)  
Chapter 7  
  
(Continued from before)  
  
Rachel was now sitting on the edge of the bed, the sheets wrapped tightly around her and Ross was lying down, looking at her back.  
  
He sat up and moved next to her, laying the blanket across his lap.  
  
"Are you ok?" he asked, kissing her shoulder, and tracing his finger along her arm.  
  
"Yeah" she said softly "We haven't done that for awhile"  
  
"I know," said Ross "It was amazing"  
  
Rachel nodded.  
  
"What are you thinking about?" asked Ross  
  
"Nothing" said Rachel "Actually.. something"  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Something that is creeping me out" said Rachel, moving away from him  
  
"I know what it is," said Ross, shaking his head "You don't need to say it"  
  
Rachel covered her face with her hands "I'm sorry, I can't help it"  
  
"I know," said Ross "But if it makes you feel any better, I was NOT thinking about that when I was making love to you"  
  
"It doesn't" said Rachel, standing up "It doesn't make me feel any better that you weren't thinking about her, because I still am and now I know what she looks like, I can put a face to her and it makes it 10 times worse"  
  
"Think about something else" suggested Ross "Think about how much you and I love each other and how much I want to be at home with you, Emma and Joshua"  
  
"I can't" said Rachel "I wasn't ready for what just happened, it was a mistake"  
  
"But I asked you, I made sure you were Rach," said Ross "You said you were"  
  
"I thought I was," said Rachel "And I did enjoy it, but now all I can think about is you and her, doing that sort of stuff, You making love to someone who wasn't me"  
  
"It wasn't making love," said Ross "There was no love between us"  
  
"Still." said Rachel  
  
Ross stood up and reached for her waist, pulling her into his lap on the bed  
  
"It's only you I think about Rach," he said, "I swear to God"  
  
"That may be true," said Rachel, freeing herself from him and moving over to the bathroom doorway "But it still doesn't change how I feel"  
  
"How do you feel?" asked Ross "And tell me the truth"  
  
Rachel took a deep breath "I feel...I feel like I can't do this"  
  
"You can't do this?" asked Ross confused "What's this? What we just did?"  
  
"No, everything" she said "I can't live my life, thinking about you and this other woman all the time, I feel like every time I would be kissing you, every time I would be with you, She'll be popping into my head and I just can't do it"  
  
"So what are you saying?" said Ross "That this is it?"  
  
"No, it's not it" said Rachel "But there are so many things I need to learn to deal with, I need to learn how to forgive, I need to learn how to forget..."  
  
"I can help you," said Ross, "Let me help you"  
  
"You can't help me," said Rachel, as tears started to roll down her face "You're part of the problem"  
  
Ross stood up and started putting his clothes back on, a frosty silence developed between them  
  
"I'm sorry," said Rachel softly "It's my issue"  
  
"Don't be sorry" said Ross, coming to her side "I understand that there will never be anything that I can do to make it up to you. I understand that it's my fault that you're feeling this way and I will never forgive myself for putting you through this"  
  
He kissed her gently "So now I'm going to step back"  
  
"Step back?" she asked  
  
"Yes, I've tried Rach, I've done everything I can but if things can't be worked out, then I can't do anymore," said Ross  
  
"I'm not saying never," said Rachel  
  
"Maybe not" said Ross "And I will wait for you, but for now I think that you need to sort out what you want, make up your mind. I've told you what I want, now it's time for you to decide,"  
  
They heard a knock on the door and a voice said "Mommy? Daddy?"  
  
"Just a second Sweetie" said Ross "Wait and I'll be out in a moment"  
  
He looked at Rachel who was standing, still wrapped in a sheet with a sad and tormented look on her face.  
  
"Can I take the kids out this afternoon?" he asked "To Central Park or something?"  
  
"Of course" said Rachel  
  
"Do you want me to come here for them?" he asked "Or do you want me to send Monica for them?"  
  
"No, No" said Rachel "It's not going to be like that. You can come here and pick them up, this is your home too you know"  
  
"I don't think it is anymore," said Ross sadly "My home is room 32, ****** Hotel"  
  
"Ross please" said Rachel  
  
"If this was my home, then I would be here," said Ross "It's fine, what more could I expect really? I'm lucky that you are even talking to me, among other things"  
  
"What time will you be here?" asked Rachel, changing the subject  
  
Emma suddenly barged through the door and looked back and forwards from Rachel to Ross.  
  
"EMMA!!" said Rachel "What did your Dad just tell you?"  
  
"Mommy, why are you wearing a sheet?" said Emma "And Daddy, why do you have your shirt on back to front?"  
  
Ross looked down at himself and realised it was true, He had his shirt on back to front, he must be going crazy.  
  
Rachel was looking at him, with a tiny smile on her face. He was such a big goof.  
  
"No reason" he said "Get out of here and we'll be out in a second"  
  
"Were you making up?" asked Emma  
  
"Leave" said Ross "Out the door"  
  
"Fine" said Emma, stomping out, shutting the door behind her.  
  
They both looked at the door before Rachel sat on the bed, Ross sat back down next to her  
  
"It was great before" he said, "I've missed everything about you" "I've missed you too" admitted Rachel  
  
"I love you," said Ross  
  
"I love you too" said Rachel  
  
"So now we both know where we stand then?" said Ross, standing up and heading for the door "You love me and I love you"  
  
"I guess," said Rachel "But love doesn't fix everything"  
  
"I know" said Ross "I'll be back in an hour or so, is that ok?"  
  
"Yes," said Rachel "Can you lock the front door behind you?"  
  
"No problem" said Ross  
  
He pulled the bedroom door over behind him, peeking his head around before he shut it fully "Bye Rach"  
  
"Goodbye" she said.  
  
As the door shut, Rachel flopped back down across the bed. Everything about this was so hard, She thought that maybe if they were together, she would forget about it, just enjoy being with him and it could be another step towards their new relationship but instead, all it did was bring up all the feelings again. Why couldn't there be a simple answer to everything, She wondered if it would be easier just to let it go, throw it all away, get a divorce and be friends who used to be married with a couple of kids? Or would it be easier just to bring him back into their lives, back home, start over and pretend it never happened?  
  
(Living room)  
  
Ross walked back out into the living room, Emma and Josh were playing on the floor and both looked up as he walked out.  
  
"I'm going now," he said "Can I have a hug?"  
  
"Daddy, what were you and Mommy doing in there?" asked Emma curiously  
  
"Nothing sweetie, Just talking" said Ross  
  
"Talking with no clothes on?" asked Emma  
  
"Something like that" said Ross "It's nothing to you"  
  
"Are you coming home soon?" said Emma "Did Mommy say you could yet?"  
  
"Not yet" said Ross "But I am coming back for you guys in an hour, we're going to Central Park for the afternoon"  
  
"Really?" asked Emma "Just us or Mommy too?"  
  
"Just as" said Ross "Now give me a quick hug before I go, you guys need to get ready"  
  
Emma and Josh both jumped into his arms, hugging him so tightly he had to peel them off "I'll see you soon"  
  
"Bye Daddy" said Josh, kissing his cheek "I love you"  
  
"I love you both too" said Ross, as he closed the door behind him, turning his key to lock the door and walking downstairs and out into the sunshine.  
  
He headed across the road, towards Joey and Chandler's apartment block.  
  
He walked into Monica and Chandler's apartment to see Joey and Chandler sitting on the couch, watching a football game. Neither turned around when he entered.  
  
"Guys" he said, getting no answer he repeated himself "GUYS"  
  
Both jumped and turned around  
  
"Hey man," said Chandler "What's going on?"  
  
"Nothing much" said Ross, joining them on the couch and saying to Joey "Dude, Don't you have a home to go to?"  
  
"I do but me and the lady of the home had a fight," said Joey "Phoebe told me to get out and go over to Chandler's to watch the football. She's being very mean to me lately"  
  
"Where's Mon?" Ross asked Chandler "And Jamie and Taylah?"  
  
"They went across the hall," said Chandler "Basically we swapped, I get rid off Monica and gain Joey"  
  
"Fair enough" said Ross, grabbing a beer off the table  
  
"How are things with you?" asked Chandler "Did you talk to Rachel?"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "And other things"  
  
"Other things?" said Joey suspiciously "What other things?"  
  
"Well we were talking, then I bumped into her when she was coming out of the bathroom, She was wrapped in a towel and boy did she look hot, She was complaining of neck pain so I gave her a massage and I guess one thing led to another" said Ross  
  
"You didn't?" said Chandler  
  
"We did," said Ross  
  
"Are you serious?" asked Joey "She actually had sex with you again, after everything you've done?"  
  
"So, are things looking up?" said Chandler, smiling  
  
"I wish I could say Yes," said Ross "Once we were finished, with the.uh .stuff. She got upset because all she could think about was me doing that with someone who wasn't her, all she could see was Amanda's face"  
  
"So she was picturing a woman when you were having sex" said Joey with a cheeky look on his face "Nice"  
  
"Get your mind out of the gutter Joey," said Ross "It wasn't during, it was after"  
  
"Sorry" he said "Go on"  
  
"And then she said that she can't do it, she can't live her life, be with me and having Amanda's head popping up all the time" said Ross  
  
He went silent for a moment  
  
"And..." prompted Chandler  
  
"She said that it was her problem, she needed to learn how to forgive, and how to forget but when I offered to help her she told me that wouldn't help, because I'm part of the problem"  
  
"Whoa" said Joey "That had to hurt"  
  
"What did you say?" asked Chandler  
  
"I told her I would step back, let her make up her mind, sort out her issues" said Ross "What else could I say?"  
  
"Don't ask me" said Joey "I'd never cheat on Phoebe, she'd cut my balls off"  
  
"So I'm taking Em and Josh out this afternoon" said Ross "I'm so grateful she's letting me see the kids again, I've missed them so much"  
  
"That's good then," said Chandler, slapping his shoulder  
  
"She still loves me ya'know," said Ross "She told me today, I told her I loved her and she said she loves me too"  
  
"It's going to work out," said Joey "I know it is"  
  
"I agree," said Chandler "You guys have been through so much to just throw it all away"  
  
"I can only hope. Hope that our love for each other is enough for us to make it through this" said Ross "God this morning was so amazing, I didn't realise how much I had missed the physical side of our relationship. Feeling her body, her skin, her lips against mine, I love every single part of her"  
  
"That good?" said Joey  
  
"It really was" said Ross "Out of this world"  
  
"I gotta go make up with Phoebe," said Joey, standing up and walking towards the door "See ya"  
  
"I better go too" said Ross "I told Rach I'd be back for the kids in an hour and I want to go the store first"  
  
"Have fun" said Chandler "I'm going to sit here on my lonesome until Mon comes back with the kids and chaos begins"  
  
"Sounds great," said Ross "I'll see you later"  
  
(Ross and Rachel's)  
  
Rachel was struggling to dress Joshua, against his wishes when she heard a knock at the door.  
  
"Emma, can you get it Sweetie?" she called out in the direction of Emma's bedroom.  
  
No answer came so she called out "Who is it?"  
  
"It's me" came Ross' reply  
  
She looked at the clock; he was early "Come in"  
  
He came in the door and saw her wrestling with Joshua.  
  
"What's going on here?" he asked  
  
"I don't want to get dressed," said Josh, breaking free and running into Ross's arms, clad in his jocks and Singlet  
  
Rachel stood up, defeated.  
  
"Will you let Daddy dress you?" she asked Josh  
  
"Yes" he said  
  
"Well go ahead Daddy," said Rachel, handing him a pair of Bob the Builder overalls and a T-Shirt. "I'll get the other one"  
  
She walked out of the living room and Ross sat down on the couch, with Joshua in his lap  
  
"Are you being naughty for Mommy?" he asked  
  
"Yep" replied Joshua with a laugh  
  
"That's not very nice," said Ross  
  
"Oh well" said Joshua  
  
"Oh well, not Oh well" said Ross "When did you become such a cheeky little boy?"  
  
Rachel was on her way back into the living room, when she heard them talking. She paused in the doorway  
  
"Mommy deserves a break," said Ross "She's been through a lot lately"  
  
"She has?" said Joshua  
  
"Yeah, most of it being Daddy's fault but he's trying to make up for it" said Ross "Do you know how much Daddy loves you, Emma and your Mommy?"  
  
"This much?" said Josh, spreading his little arms out as wide as they could go.  
  
"That much and more" said Ross, spreading his arms out farther  
  
"That's lots," said Joshua "I love you that much too but I want you to stay here"  
  
"That's good to hear," said Ross "And I'm trying as hard as I can, to get Mommy to let me come home, I don't think she knows just how much I miss her"  
  
"Lots" suggested Joshua  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "Lots"  
  
Rachel was standing, listening with a thoughtful expression on her face when Emma bumped into her from behind, causing her to jump and smack her hand off the door frame  
  
"Shit!!" she cursed loudly, causing Ross to look up "Emma that hurt"  
  
"Sorry Mommy" she said, running by her and jumping on the couch next to Ross "Hi Daddy"  
  
"Hey Princess" said Ross, kissing her head "Are you ready to go?"  
  
"Sure am," she said brightly  
  
"I guess we'll be off then" he said, "Do you have your sunhat Sweetie?"  
  
"No" said Emma, looking around the room  
  
"I'll get it," said Rachel, walking out, locating the hat in Emma's messy room and coming back into the living room.  
  
"Here you go honey," she said, handing her the hat "Have a good afternoon guys"  
  
"What are you doing this afternoon?" asked Ross, "Being free of your children for a few hours"  
  
"Nothing probably" said Rachel "Visit Monica and Phoebe maybe, same old stuff"  
  
"Do you want to come?" asked Ross hesitantly  
  
"Uh." said Rachel "I don't know"  
  
"Come Mommy" said Emma "Daddy really wants you too"  
  
"Does he now?" said Rachel, looking at Ross  
  
"He thinks it would be fun," said Ross "Come on"  
  
"I'm not even dressed," said Rachel, looking down at herself wearing only her underwear and her robe  
  
"We'll wait won't we kids?" said Ross  
  
"We will," said Emma "Hurry Mommy"  
  
"All right" said Rachel "You've convinced me, I'll be 2 minutes"  
  
She went into the bedroom, grabbed a pair of ¾ cargo pants, a Singlet top and some thongs, throwing them on before running a brush through her still damp hair.  
  
She went out and found Emma pacing by the door "Are you ready?"  
  
"I am" said Rachel, grabbing her handbag and picking up Joshua  
  
"Let's go then," said Ross, grabbing Emma's hand as they went out the front door.  
  
(Central Park)  
  
Ross and Rachel were sitting on the grass, watching Emma and Josh spin round and round on a piece of equipment, Rachel laughing as Josh hopped off, very dizzy and fell down.  
  
"We make some cute kids don't we?" said Ross  
  
"We do" said Rachel "It helps that they have 2 attractive parents, they've got good genes"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross  
  
"Joshua looks like you though," said Rachel "He has the same goofy personality too"  
  
"Hey." said Ross "I'm not a goof"  
  
"You are a goof," said Rachel "I should call you BG, short for big goof"  
  
"You're lucky I'm such a gentleman, or else I would have drop rolled you right down this hill" joked Ross "But I won't"  
  
Rachel smiled "I know"  
  
They sat, just watching the kids for a while. Emma was chasing Joshua, who Rachel could see was becoming tired out and sure enough, he collapsed on the grass, laughing madly a few moments later.  
  
Rachel looked at Ross and could see the look of happiness on his face as he watched his children play; she knew that they truly were his everything.  
  
"Hey, you know what I said this morning" began Rachel "I didn't mean that it was never going to happen, I just meant that I needed some time, to sort out my thoughts before I made any decisions, you know?"  
  
'Yeah I know" said Ross "It's going to take time"  
  
"But you won't move on will you?" asked Rachel  
  
"No way Rachel" said Ross "If things don't work out between us, then that is it for me. There can never be anyone else, if I don't get you back in my arms then I will never be with a woman again. Pure and Simple"  
  
"You don't mean that," said Rachel "Seriously"  
  
"I do" said Ross "I will never find another person who can make me feel the way you do, who makes me laugh, who makes me smile, who makes me feel eternally grateful to have met them. I don't know why it took my unfaithfulness to make me see how lucky I am to have you, how lucky I am to have you as my wife"  
  
"You didn't realise that before?" asked Rachel  
  
"No, I did but it took something stupid to make me think about it again" said Ross "If I got you back, I would never do anything to mess it up, Ever"  
  
"Could that be another promise?" asked Rachel "Considering your track record with promises"  
  
"It is a promise" said Ross "I've learnt my lesson twice over, there is nothing more in this world that means as much to me as repairing the damage I've done, making you have faith and trust in me again. Making you my wife again"  
  
"I'm still your wife," said Rachel "Estranged maybe but I haven't signed any divorce papers"  
  
"Yet" said Ross  
  
"I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel  
  
Ross was stunned by her revelation and his hopes were instantly lifted "You're not?"  
  
"No" said Rachel, looking up at the sky then looking back down at him "I mean I should, but I won't"  
  
"I can't tell you how glad I am to hear that," said Ross, grabbing her hand "What does this mean?"  
  
"It means that I'm not going to divorce you," said Rachel "Whatever comes next, I'm not so sure about yet"  
  
"What should I say?" said Ross "But what about what you said before, about thinking and making decisions?"  
  
"You could shut up for once and hug me," said Rachel "I'm a little chilly"  
  
Ross grinned and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close  
  
"I'm not ready to have you at home yet" said Rachel "But I think I am ready to start over"  
  
"Are you sure?" asked Ross  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel, deliberating over her decision. This wasn't something she could throw away, She nodded slowly "I am"  
  
TBC 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - 2 weeks later  
  
Things were running smoothly in the Geller Household. Ross wasn't living at home yet but he spent every waking moment with Rachel and the kids, usually leaving late in the evening and returning again in the morning. They were taking it one day at a time, and slowly becoming more like a family again...  
  
(Evening)  
  
Ross, Rachel, Emma and Joshua were all squashed on the couch together, watching Shrek on DVD. The movie was just about finished but Emma and Joshua were already sound asleep, Emma was lying across Ross and Joshua was curled up in Rachel's arms.  
  
"Look at this" said Ross, gesturing at Emma "We go and buy her a DVD she wants so badly and she can't even stay awake to watch it"  
  
Rachel laughed "Well she did have a big day today"  
  
"Still" said Ross, hauling himself off the couch, Emma in his arms "I'm going to put her in bed, Do you want me to grab Josh too?"  
  
"I'll get him," said Rachel, standing up and following Ross into Emma and Joshua's bedroom.  
  
Rachel lay Josh down in his racecar bed, and quickly changed him into his Pj's.  
  
She kissed him and he mumbled something, turning over and shoving his thumb in his mouth.  
  
Rachel was standing, looking at him for awhile when she noticed Ross' presence next to her  
  
"I better be going" he said quietly "Any later then this and it will be hell trying to catch a cab"  
  
"Right" said Rachel.  
  
They walked out into the living room, Ross trying to locate his keys and coat among the mess, finally finding them.  
  
He walked over to Rachel and kissed her lips "I'll see you in the morning?"  
  
"I guess," said Rachel "Unless you don't want to go"  
  
"What?" asked Ross "Is that an invitation to spend the night?"  
  
"You can figure it out," said Rachel, bending over to take the DVD out and switch it off.  
  
Ross pulled her up by the arm so she was facing me "Do you want me to stay?"  
  
"Do you want to stay?" said Rachel  
  
"Ummm, YEAH" said Ross "If you're ok with it"  
  
"I'm ok with it," said Rachel, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck.  
  
"Really?" asked Ross  
  
"Really" said Rachel "Are you trying to change my mind or something? You got a date tonight?"  
  
"No way" said Ross "I just wanted to make sure"  
  
Rachel kissed him "There's one condition though, you have to help me clean up this pigsty"  
  
"No problems" said Ross  
  
They spend the next 10 minutes, on their hands and knees, picking up toys and games from under the couch, under the TV and every other space in the living room, throwing them all in a big chest.  
  
Rachel started clearing up the plates, pizza box and ice-cream bowls from the coffee table and headed into the kitchen to do the washing up.  
  
Ross followed her, grabbing the bottle of detergent out of her hands as she prepared to fill the sink "I'll do it"  
  
"You hate washing up," said Rachel  
  
"So do you," said Ross "So I'm going to suffer through it just so you don't have too"  
  
"Aren't you just the best then" said Rachel "Thankyou"  
  
"It's fine," said Ross, filling the sink and scrubbing at the dishes.  
  
Rachel standing and watching him with a grin on her face  
  
"What are you grinning about?" asked Ross, flicking water at her.  
  
"Nothing" she said, holding up the tea towel so the water didn't get her face "It's just that you always used to try and get out of the washing up. Making me do it"  
  
"Well some things have changed then haven't they?" said Ross  
  
"I guess they have" said Rachel "I'm going to have a quick shower, you lock up ok?"  
  
"Yep" said Ross He finished the washing up, and went into the bedroom.  
  
He could hear Rachel messing about in the bathroom so he sat on the bed and waited for her to come out which she did 10 minutes later, clad in a short, satin nightie.  
  
"WOW" said Ross softly to himself as she walked past him and into the walk- in closet  
  
"What's that?" said Rachel  
  
"Nothing" replied Ross  
  
Rachel came back out into the bedroom and started to pull back the doona and pillows "You're gonna have to move Ross"  
  
"Sorry" said Ross, jumping off the bed.  
  
Rachel got under the covers and looked at Ross who was just standing there  
  
"Are you coming to bed?" she asked "Or are you going to sleep standing up?"  
  
"No, I'm coming," said Ross  
  
He pulled off his clothes down to his boxers and climbed into bed, getting comfortable.  
  
"God, I'd forgotten how much better it was sleeping in a comfortable bed" he said, "The bed I've been sleeping in lately is so lumpy and uncomfortable"  
  
"Really?" she said, "Well you've got lucky tonight then haven't you?"  
  
"Very lucky" he said, shuffling over and kissing her nose.  
  
Rachel cuddled up to him, resting her head on his chest "I've been feeling so small in this bed at night lately, like by myself. It feels good having someone to cuddle up to again"  
  
"It feels good cuddling you," said Ross, stroking her arm "Your skin's so nice and smooth"  
  
"That's because I just slathered on body butter" said Rachel with a laugh "But thanks for the compliment"  
  
"Anytime" said Ross  
  
Rachel shifted her body up and kissed his lips gently "Are you tired?"  
  
"Not really" said Ross  
  
"Good" said Rachel, as she slid her body over his, kissing him passionately.  
  
"Wait on" said Ross "Is this why you asked me to stay over, so you could use me for sex?"  
  
"Yes," said Rachel  
  
"Well, what's a guy to do?" replied Ross with a laugh, rolling her over so he was on top and returning the passion.  
  
(Next morning)  
  
Ross woke up and could feel a heavy head on his chest; he looked down and saw Rachel, still sound asleep. He smiled as he remembered last night.  
  
Rachel stirred in his arms and opened her eyes  
  
"Hey you" he said  
  
"Hey" she replied, pushing her body against his as she stretched  
  
"How did you sleep?" asked Ross  
  
"Like a log" replied Rachel "You tired me out"  
  
"Really?" said Ross, raising his eyebrows "How good am I?"  
  
"Very good" said Rachel "What time is it?"  
  
"Uh, 7:45am" said Ross, looking at his watch  
  
"I gotta get up" she said "I'm going into work today"  
  
"That I didn't know," said Ross "I think I might just go back to sleep for awhile"  
  
"You need to get up too" said Rachel "You've got a big day ahead of you"  
  
"I have?" said Ross "Doing what?"  
  
"Moving your stuff back in here" said Rachel "No use having it at some hotel when you're going to be here every night"  
  
"What?" said Ross, sitting up "Are you serious?"  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel "I want you back at home, where you belong"  
  
"That is so great," said Ross, kissing her "Thankyou so much"  
  
"I couldn't watch you spend all day with us, then go back to an empty hotel room anymore" said Rachel "I'm still not 100% over what you did, I don't know if I ever will be but I think we can start over. I'm willing to have you back here, with me and the kids, for us to be a family again. I think that I have forgiven you but I still need to build the trust up again"  
  
"I understand completely. Rach, I'm so happy," said Ross "You've just made my day"  
  
"I'm glad," said Rachel "But what I need to do right now is jump in the shower"  
  
"OK" said Ross "I'll get Emma and Joshua up"  
  
"Thanks" said Rachel, climbing out of bed and walking into the bathroom  
  
Ross watched her walk into the bathroom, with a huge smile on his face. He almost couldn't contain himself, and he wanted to scream with happiness. He knew that they were moving along, but her allowing him to come home meant that she was feeling comfortable with him again, which was important.  
  
He had been planning something, ever since Rachel said that she wasn't going to divorce him, it was something they used to talk about doing but he wasn't sure where it fitted in with them now but the more he thought about it, he realised that it wouldn't be something she'd say no to.  
  
He got out of bed and went into Emma and Joshua's room, both were still sleeping.  
  
"Hey" he said quietly, shaking Emma's arm "Sleeping Beauty"  
  
Emma opened her eyes slowly "Daddy?"  
  
"Yeah, time to get up Princess," said Ross  
  
"What are you doing here so early?" said Emma "I haven't even had my shower yet"  
  
"Daddy stayed here last night" said Ross "And he's going to be here every morning from now on"  
  
"Really?" asked Emma "Did you stay with Mommy last night?"  
  
"I did," said Ross "Now are you getting up?"  
  
"Yes" said Emma; rubbing her eyes as she climbed out of bed "I'm glad you're going to be living here again Daddy"  
  
"Me too" said Ross "Go and brush your teeth while I get your brother up"  
  
"OK" said Emma, running out the bedroom.  
  
Ross got Joshua up and had them both settled at the table with some breakfast by the time Rachel came out of the bathroom.  
  
"You look nice," said Ross, when he saw her. "Fabulous n fact"  
  
She had on a ¾ black skirt, a white and black striped top and heels  
  
"Well thankyou" she said, "How are my beautiful children this morning?" "Good" said Emma, munching on her toast  
  
"How about you?" Rachel asked Joshua, kissing the top of his head  
  
"Ok" he replied "Daddy made smiley toast"  
  
"He did?" said Rachel, looking at Joshua's toast, which had a drawing of a smiley face on it, done with Honey. "That looks nice, Can Mommy have a bite?"  
  
"No!!" said Joshua, protecting his plate  
  
"Would you like some smiley toast?" asked Ross  
  
"No, thanks anyway" said Rachel "Can you dress the kids for me while I finish getting ready, I want to drop into Monica's this morning"  
  
"No problems" said Ross "Go finish getting ready"  
  
"Ok" said Rachel, kissing him "Thankyou"  
  
(Monica and Chandler's Apartment)  
  
Ross and Rachel walked in, Emma and Josh trailing behind.  
  
Monica and Chandler were sitting eating breakfast; Monica feeding Taylah while Jamie was watching TV  
  
"Jamie" said Emma loudly, running over to him "Hi"  
  
"Hey" said Chandler "Hows things?"  
  
"Great" said Rachel, grabbing Ross' hand "Really good"  
  
"Ohhh" said Monica "Do you guys have some news or something?"  
  
"No, not really" said Rachel "Unless you count Ross moving back in as news?"  
  
"Are you?" asked Monica  
  
"Yeah" said Ross  
  
"That's great," said Chandler "I'm glad you two sorted it out, finally"  
  
"Me too" said Monica "I'd get up and hug you both but I have one hungry baby, sucking on my boob so..."  
  
"It's cool," said Ross, not feeling a real need to see his sister breast feeding up close  
  
"When did this happen?" asked Chandler  
  
"Uh, this morning" said Rachel, smiling at Ross "In bed"  
  
"Well, sounds like you've celebrated already then" said Monica with a laugh "Seriously though, it's fantastic news"  
  
"I know," said Rachel "I've got to go to work, you'll be fine with Em and Josh today?"  
  
"Sure will," said Ross "Have a great day"  
  
"I'm sure I will," said Rachel, kissing him "I love you"  
  
"I love you too" said Ross  
  
"Emma, Josh. Come give me a kiss," said Rachel "You'll be good for Daddy today?"  
  
"Uh huh" said Emma "Bye Mommy"  
  
"Bye Mon, Chandler" said Rachel as she walked out the door  
  
"Cya" said Chandler  
  
Ross watched her walk out then turned to face Monica and Chandler, with a beaming smile on his face  
  
"So.." said Monica "It's all good"  
  
"It's all good," said Ross  
  
"Are you happy?" asked Chandler  
  
"Happy? Are you kidding me.I'm ecstatic" said Ross  
  
Phoebe and Joey entered then, followed by Dayton and Jesse who were arguing about something  
  
"Oh my god" said Phoebe loudly "Dayton, Give your brother what he wants before I have to kill both of you"  
  
"How's it going Pheeb's?" asked Ross, noticing the thunderous look on her face  
  
"Don't ask," she said, glaring at Joey "Between him and Dayton and Jesse."  
  
"Troubles?" Chandler asked Joey  
  
"You might say that," said Joey "I get the blame for everything that happens" "Don't start Joey" warned Phoebe "I could kill you too you know"  
  
Joey shrank back in horror "This isn't the lady I married, She's turned into devil woman"  
  
Phoebe glared at him before turning to Ross "Just saw Rachel in the hall, She's looking pretty happy. Is everything going good?"  
  
"It's great," said Ross "She asked me to move back in with her and the kids"  
  
"That's great," said Phoebe excitedly "I'm so happy for you guys"  
  
"I actually wanted to ask everyone's opinion on something" said Ross "It's pretty important, and I need your help as well"  
  
"You haven't done it again have you?" asked Joey "God Ross"  
  
"No!!" said Ross "I'm going to ask Rachel to marry me"  
  
"Marry you?" asked Joey, looking confused "Who did you marry when I was best man 5 years ago if it wasn't Rachel?"  
  
"Well not marry me as such," said Ross "Renew her vows"  
  
"Really?" asked Monica "You want to do that?"  
  
"Yeah, but that's not all" said Ross  
  
"And there's more?" said Chandler in a game show host voice  
  
"I want to surprise her with a candlelit ceremony in Hawaii, on the beach" said Ross, a smile breaking across his face "She's always wanted to go to Hawaii, we used to talk about it all the time and if we renew our vows, it will cement in her mind how 100% faithful I am going to be to her, and how much I love her"  
  
"That is so romantic," said Monica "Wow"  
  
"What a great idea" said Phoebe  
  
"Do you think she will want to renew her vows again though?" asked Ross "It's because I haven't exactly stuck to the vows I said last time, So this time I want to do it right and I am going to stick to them"  
  
"I think she definitely will" said Chandler "With a romantic surprise like that, I'd marry you"  
  
"The thing is I want to do it in 3 weeks" said Ross  
  
"Why 3 weeks?" asked Joey  
  
"Because in 3 weeks is our 6 year anniversary" said Ross 'I want it to be special"  
  
"Wait a minute," said Joey "We're invited aren't we?"  
  
"Of course" said Ross "All of you, plus Mom and Dad, Sandra and Leonard. That's it"  
  
"So we're going to Hawaii?" said Phoebe "Oh my god, I'm so excited"  
  
"Sshhh" said Ross "I haven't said anything about it to Rachel yet, like about the trip and I don't want Emma spilling the beans"  
  
"Sorry" said Phoebe, covering her mouth "This is going to be so much fun"  
  
"Hey, we can go to that Harbour in Hawaii," said Joey, clicking his fingers as he racked his brain "What's it called?"  
  
"Pearl Harbour" suggested Ross  
  
"Yeah" said Joey "Pay our respects"  
  
Everyone looked at Joey in surprise  
  
"What!! I did do a History class at school," said Joey defensively "I do know these things"  
  
"I know you do," said Phoebe lovingly, putting her arm around his waist  
  
"So you will all come, and help me plan it?" asked Ross  
  
"Definitely" said Monica "We wouldn't miss it"  
  
"Great" said Ross "So the dates will be September 21st to September 28th. September 25th is our Anniversary so that will be when I'll surprise her with a romantic, ceremony"  
  
"Sounds fantastic," said Chandler "She's really going to love it"  
  
"Now no one mention the ceremony, She's going to know about the trip of course, But she will think it's just the all of us having a vacation" said Ross "Mom, Dad, Sandra and Leonard can fly up on like the 24th or something"  
  
Everyone was nodding  
  
"Sounds like you've got it planned" said Phoebe  
  
"Yeah, How long have you been planning this?" asked Monica  
  
"About 2 weeks or so" said Ross  
  
"You're a fast planner aren't you?" said Chandler "Another great thing we all love about Ross"  
  
"I'm calling the airlines today" said Ross "I figure I'll surprise her with the tickets too"  
  
"Can you book ours then too?" asked Monica "We'll need 3, or is it 4. Does a 3 month old need a ticket?"  
  
"I'm not buying Taylah a ticket," said Chandler "Look at my teeny, weeny Baby girl. She's like the size of a Basketball. She's not going to take up a seat"  
  
"Ok then" said Monica "3 tickets it is"  
  
"And we'll need 2" said Joey  
  
"2..What are we leaving Jesse and Dayton home alone are we?' said Phoebe "To fight off robbers like in that Home Alone movie"  
  
"Yeah, that's what we're gonna do" said Joey sarcastically "I meant 4"  
  
"Ok so I need to book..." began Ross, counting on his fingers "11 tickets, is that right?"  
  
"Let's see, Ross, Rachel, Emma, Joshua, Monica, Chandler, Jamie, Phoebe, Joey, Jesse and Dayton," said Chandler "Yep, I think that adds up to 11"  
  
"Great" said Ross "I'll do it today but we also need to arrange accommodation"  
  
"Think about that tomorrow," said Monica "All this thinking's giving me a headache"  
  
"All right" said Ross "I've got to go. Pick up my stuff from the Hotel room"  
  
"Ok" said Monica  
  
"Em, Josh, Come on" Ross called out in the direction of Jamie's room  
  
"I don't wanna go Daddy" came Emma's whiny reply "Me and Josh wanna stay and play with Jamie, Dayton and Jesse"  
  
"Too bad Sweetie" began Ross  
  
"You can leave them here while you do that" interrupted Monica  
  
"Are you sure" asked Ross  
  
"Yeah" said Chandler "2 more won't make much of a difference"  
  
"Thanks guys" said Ross "I'll only be an hour or so"  
  
"No worries" said Monica  
  
Ross headed out the door, his smile growing wider by the second as he thought more about his plan  
  
"He's so happy," said Phoebe  
  
"Yeah, he is" said Monica  
  
"I knew they'd work it out," said Joey "Best Man's instinct"  
  
"Best man 5 years ago" said Chandler "Get over it"  
  
"Just because you weren't" shot back Joey  
  
"I was at the other 2" replied Chandler  
  
"Pheeb's, you wanna go out?" asked Monica "Leave them to fight like little girls?"  
  
"Sure" said Phoebe "Should we take the kids?"  
  
"Nah" said Monica "They can mediate"  
  
"Great" said Phoebe  
  
They grabbed their purses and headed out the door, leaving Chandler and Joey firing witty comments back and forth.  
  
TBC  
  
AN: Sorry this chapter wasn't very good. I got stuck for ideas today : - ) Better Chapter next time hopefully... 


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Sorry it's been ages since the last chapter, I haven't had much time lately so...But here's the next chapter finally...Carina Carvanon, Thankyou for being so patient LOL Your reviews telling me to hurry up made me decide to write this chapter and post it up so you would be happy :-) Enjoy  
  
Chapter 9 - Same night as previous chapter  
  
By the time Rachel returned home from work that night, Ross had booked and picked up the tickets, made Emma and Joshua dinner, bathed them and put them to bed and prepared a romantic meal for himself and Rachel.  
  
Rachel walked in the front door and her mouth started watering immediately because of the beautiful smells coming from her kitchen  
  
"Mmm" she said loudly, putting her bag down on the couch "What's this I smell?"  
  
Ross walked out from the kitchen, wearing a bright purple apron  
  
"Well hello" he said, kissing her  
  
"Hi" replied Rachel "Has Jamie Oliver taken over our kitchen?"  
  
"Nope" said Ross proudly "I cooked"  
  
"You did?" said Rachel "Wow"  
  
"I sure did," said Ross, gesturing at the table which was set beautifully with flowers, candles and a bottle of wine "So take a seat"  
  
Rachel sat down "Where's Em and Josh?"  
  
"In bed" replied Ross from the kitchen  
  
"In bed, already?" said Rachel, looking at her watch "God, it's 8pm. I didn't realize I was this late. I'm sorry"  
  
"It's fine," said Ross, coming out from the kitchen with 2 loaded up plates "Gave me more time to prepare dinner"  
  
"And what are we having?" said Rachel, nodding at the plates in Ross' hands  
  
"Only something I know you love" said Ross, setting the plates down "Sweet and Sour Chicken with vegetables on a bed of white rice. Voila"  
  
"Wow, This looks amazing," said Rachel  
  
"I hope it tastes as good as it looks," said Ross "Wine?"  
  
"Thankyou" said Rachel, holding out her glass, which Ross filled  
  
"You're very welcome," said Ross  
  
"Try some," he said, scooping up some of the food onto her fork and lifting it to her mouth  
  
Rachel swallowed and her eyes rolled to the heavens "Ross, that is deluxe"  
  
"Really?" he said.  
  
He took a mouthful himself "Wow, that is good"  
  
"So why am I getting this fabulous meal tonight?" asked Rachel "To what do I owe this pleasure?"  
  
"I just wanted to do something special for you" said Ross "It was about time I treated you how you deserve to be treated"  
  
Rachel smiled "How do I deserve to be treated?"  
  
"Like a princess," said Ross "That's how you deserve to be treated and from now on, it's going to be how I treat you"  
  
"Aren't I lucky then?" said Rachel between mouthfuls  
  
"I've been feeling pretty lucky myself lately" said Ross "That I have someone as beautiful, understanding and forgiving as you as my wife"  
  
"I don't know about beautiful" said Rachel "But I am pretty understanding and forgiving"  
  
"Come on" said Ross "You're only the most beautiful woman I've ever met, you were the girl in 9th grade typing who completely blew me away"  
  
Rachel laughed, "I blew you away did I?"  
  
"You sure did," said Ross "From that first moment, I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. After everything I've done and put you through, I find myself pinching my arm just to see if this is all really happening, if I really am here with you, to make sure this isn't all some dream that I'm going to wake up from"  
  
Rachel reached over and took hold of his hand "It's all happening. I'm here with you and I love you"  
  
Ross kissed her "I love you too"  
  
He then reached into his pocket and pulled out along, white envelope, handing it to Rachel.  
  
"What's this?" she asked, turning it over  
  
"Open it and see," said Ross  
  
Rachel slit open the top with her knife and pulled out another blue envelope  
  
"American Airlines?" she read out, looking up at Ross  
  
"Go on" said Ross  
  
She opened the blue envelope and pulled out 4 tickets  
  
"Return flights to Hawaii...." she read to herself, not quite believing it "No way,"  
  
"Yes" said Ross "I'm taking you to Hawaii"  
  
"Are you serious?" said Rachel, stunned "HAWAII?"  
  
"Hawaii" said Ross "Where you've always wanted to go"  
  
Rachel jumped out of her chair, screaming in delight "I'm really going to Hawaii?"  
  
"Yes, you're really going to Hawaii," said Ross "All of us, including Monica, Chandler, Pheeb's and Joey"  
  
"Oh my god" she said "I can't believe this"  
  
"Believe it," said Ross "Us in Hawaii, 3 weeks from now"  
  
She threw her arms around him "This is so great, Thankyou so much. Why are we going?"  
  
"I'm glad I made you happy" said Ross "I just thought you could do with some relaxation, a family vacation sort of thing. Think about it, a relaxing week in Hawaii, drinking cocktails on the beach while getting a gorgeous tan on that body of yours, Can you picture it?"  
  
"Yes. I can picture us lying on the sand, while Em and Josh play on the waters edge.Beautiful Sunsets and beaches" she said happily "Oh I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, and you knew that. You are such a Sweetie"  
  
"I know," said Ross.  
  
He pulled her down into his lap on the chair and they sat in silence for a few minutes, enjoying each other's company. Rachel couldn't wipe the smile of her face.  
  
Ross was about to kiss her when they heard a knock on the front door...  
  
"Who is that at this time of night?" said Ross, moving Rachel of his lap and walking towards the door.  
  
He pulled it open and came face to face with Amanda.  
  
"Ross" she said "Hi"  
  
Ross' heart nearly jumped out of his chest and he turned around to face Rachel, whose smile had dropped right off her face, which now looked like thunder.  
  
He looked back and forth, wondering what to do, eventually pushing Amanda out of the doorway and into the hallway, shutting the door behind him.  
  
"What the hell are you doing here?" he asked angrily "And how did you know where I live?"  
  
"You kinda told me once" said Amanda "And thankyou for the warm welcome"  
  
"Warm welcome?" spluttered Ross "Why would I welcome you warmly into my home?"  
  
"Maybe because I'm pregnant with your child" said Amanda  
  
"You're what?" said Ross slowly, struggling to get the words out "Pregnant?"  
  
"No" said Amanda "I'm just kidding with you Ross, Relax"  
  
Ross shook his head "You are a deceiving lying bitch Amanda, Did you know that?"  
  
"I've been told a few times" said Amanda  
  
"Why are you here?" said Ross  
  
"I just came to tell you that there will be no investigation into what happened between us," said Amanda "And I got fired yesterday"  
  
Ross nearly laughed, "You got fired? What a shame. Why?"  
  
"Because Professor Williams caught me and Professor Nichol's in my office," said Amanda "Mucking around"  
  
Ross couldn't believe it "You are really something, first you try and ruin my marriage which I'll let you know, did not happen and now you're doing the same to Professor Nichol's...You deserve everything you get"  
  
"Maybe" said Amanda "I just have a thing for married men"  
  
"That's nice" said Ross "But I don't really care and I don't even believe you came down here to tell me that"  
  
"Excuse me, I also came down to tell you there will be no investigation" said Amanda "So you should be relieved"  
  
"Relieved?" said Ross "Like they were going to believe you anyway Amanda, Everyone knows what you're like and it would have been your word against mine, I'm guessing people would have believe me more then you"  
  
"Whatever" said Amanda "I just came to tell you that there will be no investigation on account of my so called 'Bad behaviour' at work, so you don't have to worry"  
  
"Well you've told me," said Ross "Now I'd appreciate it if you'd leave. I was in the middle of something before"  
  
"Sucking up to the wife were we?" said Amanda "Nice"  
  
"Goodbye Amanda" said Ross "Have a nice life"  
  
"Bye" said Amanda cheerfully "Oh and Ross, Tell Rachel I said Hi"  
  
Ross turned around and went inside, slamming the door on her evil face.  
  
Rachel was sitting on the couch, staring at the TV with an angry look on her face.  
  
"Rach, I'm sorry," said Ross, sitting down next to her "I'm so sorry you had to see her"  
  
"Why was she here?" asked Rachel "Came back for seconds did she?"  
  
"No" said Ross "She came to tell me they weren't going to investigate what happened, and that she got fired"  
  
"Investigate?" said Rachel confused "Investigate what?"  
  
Ross realised his mistake, he hadn't told Rachel the entire truth about the situation, and how he might have been fired because of Amanda's claims. He'd just told her he'd quit. That was another mistake  
  
"Umm..Well what happened was that Amanda put in a complaint about me, saying I forced myself on to her and took advantage which I didn't" said Ross "And there was a chance I was going to be investigated about it, and possibly loose my job even though she was blatantly lying"  
  
"You lied to me?" said Rachel  
  
"No, No I didn't lie," said Ross "I just didn't tell you the whole truth because things were going well, I didn't want to upset you anymore...I'm sorry"  
  
"Sorry.." said Rachel "How many times have I heard that lately"  
  
"Come on Rach," said Ross "Do you think I wanted her to show up here? You have to understand why I didn't tell you"  
  
Rachel thought about it for a moment "I do understand why you didn't tell me I guess, but Ross, you need to be honest with me about everything that is going on that is going to affect me if this marriage is going to get back on track, if I don't feel that you're being honest and trustworthy then all my insecurities about you being unfaithful are going to come back up and I seriously can't deal with it"  
  
"I will be honest about everything," said Ross "She is out of my life forever, I swear. Out of OUR life forever"  
  
"Good" said Rachel  
  
"Can I see a smile?" asked Ross, lifting her head up by her chin "Please?"  
  
"I don't know if I have the energy," said Rachel  
  
"You were so happy before," said Ross "Wipe Amanda out of your mind and show me that beautiful smile"  
  
Rachel shrugged "Do you think you're worthy of my beautiful smile?"  
  
"I'd like to think so," said Ross.  
  
He stood up, pulling her to her feet and into the living room  
  
"What are you doing?" asked Rachel  
  
"I know what might make you smile," he said, as he fumbled in the TV cabinet "Here we go"  
  
He put a tape in the VCR and pressed PLAY, sitting down on the couch and pulling Rachel next to him  
  
Ross put his arm around Rachel and she relaxed comfortably next to him.  
  
"Well look who it is" said Ross as Rachel's face came up on the screen, smiling widely. It was a tape of their wedding day; Rachel was smiling brightly as she relaxed in a chair while her hair was being done.  
  
We see various shots of Rachel as she's getting ready, sipping Champagne, Bridesmaid's Monica and Phoebe getting their hair and makeup done, 2 year old Emma in her little flower girl dress, Sandra Green standing on the sidelines, crying as she watched her daughter prepare for the happiest day of her life, Emma throwing a tantrum just before the ceremony was due to start, causing Rachel to be 10 minutes late because she had to calm her down.  
  
The camera then moves to Ross standing at the top of the aisle, waiting for the first glimpse of Rachel, an overjoyed expression on his face as he saw her for the first time, walking down the aisle towards him.  
  
The ceremony..Rachel getting misty eyed as she says her vows, Monica bawling her eyes out as they are pronounced husband and wife, Ross kissing Rachel before whispering in her ear, Rachel crying tears of happiness as she stared into her new husband's eyes.  
  
Ross pressed stop on the remote and looked at Rachel. He was right, now she had a smile on her face.  
  
She sighed. It was half a happy sigh, half a sad sigh "We were so happy that day"  
  
"We sure were" said Ross "And I'd like to think that we are still as happy today, but a little part of me thinks that we're not"  
  
Rachel looked at him "We are happy Ross..I'm happy, Are you not?"  
  
"You don't know how happy I am Rachel, I'm absolutely overjoyed that you have given me another chance" said Ross "And it just goes to show that if we love each other, as much as we do, we can get through anything"  
  
Rachel nodded slowly "Yeah...So what makes you think that we're not?"  
  
"I don't know, I just know that things have changed," said Ross "It can't ever go back to the way it was a year ago, before I turned into such a jerk"  
  
"It's in the past Ross" said Rachel "I think you need to start forgiving yourself, if I can forgive you then you should be able to as well ...I've realised that people make mistakes, sometimes we don't think before we act but I want to put everything that has happened behind us, and look towards the future"  
  
"Really?" said Ross  
  
"YES," said Rachel "Do you think I'd be sitting here with you right now, if I didn't want us to be happy, have a future together? These past few months have taught me a lot, like how much I love you, how much we shouldn't hold grudges, dwell on the past. What's happened has happened, and now I want to move on. We can do that can't we?"  
  
"We can" said Ross "Honestly, I feel like the luckiest guy in the world...You could have kicked me to the curb Rachel but you didn't...You amaze me"  
  
"I amaze myself sometimes" said Rachel before kissing him.  
  
Ross pulled away "Do you realize what just happened?"  
  
"No, What?" said Rachel  
  
"We just had a deep and meaningful conversation" he said "I've missed this, cuddling up on the sofa, talking about our future, sharing our feelings with each other. It's great"  
  
"It is" said Rachel, cuddling up closer to him, resting her head on his chest "Let's make a deal, we'll do this every night from now on ok...Make some time to sit here and have a meaningful conversation with each other.How does that sound?"  
  
"Sounds great," said Ross.  
  
He brushed her hair away from her face and kissed her nose "I love your nose"  
  
"What?" said Rachel with a laugh "You love my nose?"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "It's like a little tulip"  
  
Rachel smiled "Do you love every other part of me as much as my nose?"  
  
"Yeah" said Ross "I love your heart the best though....And your sexy body"  
  
Rachel laughed.Typical comment from a man  
  
"And you love my sexy body don't you?" said Ross "It's so athletic and fit"  
  
"For sure" said Rachel, grabbing at his stomach under his shirt "I don't know what to think about these little rolls under here though..Where did these come from? You've got a whole little bakery cooking under here"  
  
She pinched his stomach.  
  
"Owww" said Ross loudly, going to stand up "Right, that's it...You pick on my stomach rolls, there's no lovin for you tonight"  
  
"Wait, Wait, Wait" said Rachel, pulling him back down "I'm sorry, I was only joking. I love your rolls, they're very sexy"  
  
"You are such a bad liar," said Ross  
  
"No I'm serious," said Rachel "In fact, playing with them makes me kinda hot for you"  
  
"Oh really?" said Ross cheekily. He stood up and headed towards their bedroom "Well I don't know that I'm in the mood now. I might just head to bed to sleep"  
  
"What?" said Rachel standing up "Where are you going?"  
  
She followed him into the bedroom "I swear I was just kidding Ross, I love your rolls..Ross please"  
  
The door closes and there are no sounds of life until you hear a shriek of laughter from Rachel and the sound of two bodies hitting the bed. "Ssshhh, You're going to wake the kids up"  
  
AN: Now that chapter wasn't really worth the wait I know. I just wanted to sort of tide it over till the next chapter...Next Chapter, The gang hits Hawaii ( 


	10. Hawaiian Paradise

Chapter 10 - 3 weeks later  
  
Ross looked out the window of the plane; all he could see was beautiful blue sky, fluffy white clouds and a bright shining sun.. A beautiful Hawaiian Paradise was awaiting them.  
  
He looked at the seat next to him, Rachel was sound asleep, Joshua was curled up in her arms, his head resting on her chest also asleep. They were both breathing deeply in sync with each other.  
  
On the other side of the aisle sat Emma, Jamie, Dayton & Jesse, All were sitting quietly, colouring in their colouring books or playing with their toys.  
  
Monica, Chandler, Taylah, Phoebe and Joey were across the other side of the plane due to ticket and seating arrangements.  
  
The pilots voice came over the intercom, saying they would be landing in Oahu in about 5 minutes so they should all fasten their seat belts for the landing.  
  
"Seat belts fastened kids?" called Ross across the aisle  
  
"Yes..Yes Daddy....Uh Huh Uncle Ross" came various replies  
  
Ross looked at Rachel and Joshua, both looked so peaceful he almost didn't want to wake them....He leaned across and kissed her cheek softly, whispering in her ear "We're here Sleeping Beauty"  
  
Her eyes opened and a smile spread across her face. Ross lifted a still sleeping Joshua out of her arms as she sat up, stretching her back.  
  
"Wow" said Rachel "That was a good nap"  
  
"Really?" said Ross "In airplane seats?"  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel. She looked out the window at the scenery "God, Isn't that Beautiful"  
  
"Sure is" said Ross "But what I'm looking out right now is more beautiful"  
  
"Stop" said Rachel with a smile.  
  
She leaned over the armrest and they kissed tenderly, and then were jolted apart as the airplane touched down.  
  
The pilot's voice came back over the intercom "Good afternoon passengers. We have just landed in Kauai, Hawaii. The weather here is currently a sunny 35 degrees Celsius.Please remember to get all your hand luggage before you step of the plane and we hope you enjoy your stay on the Island of Kauai"  
  
Ross stepped out in the aisle and saw Joey and Phoebe walking towards him, Joey was looking slightly green.  
  
"You don't look good Joey," said Ross "What's up?"  
  
"He's been heaving his guts up the whole way," said Phoebe "Plane Sickness"  
  
"Oh you poor thing" said Rachel "Are you ok?"  
  
"Yeah.." said Joey  
  
His eyes suddenly widened and he pushed his way off the plane and onto the Tarmac where he threw up in a Gardenia patch.  
  
"Ewww" said Monica "That's so gross"  
  
They stepped out onto the tarmac where 3 Hawaiian people, holding a bunch of Lei's, greeted them  
  
"Aloha" said one, draping a Lei around Rachel's neck "Welcome to Kauai"  
  
"Aloha" said Emma "Can I have a pink one?"  
  
"You sure can Princess," said one of the women, putting a bright Pink Lei around her neck  
  
"Can I have one too?" asked Joey like a child, apparently recovered from his plane sickness "A Manly Blue one"  
  
5 minutes later, everyone sporting brightly coloured Lei's and carrying their luggage, 2 Little Buggy's rolled up.  
  
"Here's our ride," said Ross "Ready to see our Hawaiian Paradise?"  
  
"Can't wait" said Rachel, kissing him "Let's go"  
  
They all piled in and headed towards their Beach Front Resort where Ross had booked 3 luxury Villa's.  
  
(Kauai Paradise Resort)  
  
"Isn't this amazing" said Phoebe, looking around her as she got out the car, carrying luggage under one arm and Dayton under the other  
  
Palm Trees surrounded them; Luscious spreads of bright green grass, a huge pool was in front of them with waterfalls cascading into the water. Surrounding the pool were various sized Bungalows. And over to one side were about 6Villa's, looking out over the Ocean.  
  
"Wow" said Emma "Mommy, I wanna go swimming"  
  
"Me too" said Jesse, Dayton and Jamie in unison  
  
"Later" said Rachel with a laugh "We need to get our rooms first"  
  
"A Bar in the pool" exclaimed Joey "Never seen anything like that before, you actually have to swim to the bar to get drinks"  
  
"Looks like it Joe" said Monica "Where do we get our keys?"  
  
"In here" said Chandler, pointing into a bungalow with a sign saying "Office" on the front door  
  
They all entered, Ross and Monica going up to the desk while everyone else mucked around with their luggage and read pamphlets advertising Island Activities.  
  
"Aloha. Welcome to Kauai Paradise Resort" said the Receptionist "How can I help you?"  
  
"I'm Ross Geller," said Ross "I've got 3 Villa's booked"  
  
"Geller.." said the receptionist scrolling down a list "3, 2 bedroom Ocean front Paradise Villa's?"  
  
"That's correct," said Ross  
  
The receptionist handed him 3 sets of keys "The Geller's are in 4, The Bing's in 5 and the Tribbiani's in 6"  
  
"My favourite number" said Phoebe "Yay"  
  
"Thankyou" said Ross  
  
"We'll be needing a crib in ours," said Monica, gesturing at the baby "If that's possible"  
  
"No problems" said the Receptionist "I will have someone run one up to you"  
  
"Thankyou" said Chandler  
  
They exited the office and walked around the pool, past the Bungalows and 3 Paradise Villas, coming to a stop at #4.  
  
"This is us," said Ross  
  
They stood there in a group, looking at the View that was in front of them. Surrounded by kids, boogie boards, bags and suitcases.  
  
Ross tossed 2 sets of keys to Joey and Chandler "Here you go"  
  
"Then this must be us," said Chandler pointing next door. He grabbed Jamie, slinging him under his arm "Come on Mon"  
  
"So I'm supposed to carry the luggage and the baby?" asked Monica "Get real Chandler"  
  
"I'll carry the precious cargo then" said Chandler, reaching for Taylah  
  
"Umm NO" said Monica "You're the man so I will carry the "precious cargo" and YOU will carry the luggage up and into the Villa..All 5 bags and Jamie's boogie board"  
  
"We'll be off then," said Phoebe quickly, pulling Joey and the kids away before an argument broke out.  
  
They all entered their respective Villa's. Rachel was in awe as she looked around theirs.  
  
She saw a spacious living area with a TV, VCR, Couches and a small Dining Table, the Kitchen to one side.  
  
Rachel walked into a small hallway, there were 2 doors coming off it, behind one door was a bedroom with 2 single beds in it. Behind the other was a gorgeous bathroom with a sea theme.  
  
Emma ran into the bedroom and jumped on the bed with a purple cover on it "Mine"  
  
Josh toddled in after her and climbed up on the other bed, with a sky blue cover "Mine Mommy?"  
  
"Yeah Spunky" said Rachel "That's your's"  
  
Rachel left them in their bedroom and walked out in the living area. She was wondering where the other bedroom was when she saw a staircase leading up to an alcove type area. She went up and saw a massive, king size bed in the centre of the bedroom, 2 huge windows were looking out at an amazing view of the Ocean. Rachel could see a Cruise Ship somewhere far out, it looked really small from where she was.  
  
She was just standing, arms folded in front of her when she felt Ross's arms slip around her from behind.  
  
"Isn't that the most beautiful view" said Ross "I've never seen anything like it"  
  
"I know," said Rachel "This is exactly how I imagined it would be, everything here is so relaxed compared to the rushed atmosphere of New York City"  
  
"Are you happy to be here?" asked Ross  
  
"Of course I am" said Rachel turning around and holding him close "Thankyou for bringing me here"  
  
"My pleasure" said Ross. He pointed out to the sky "Look at that"  
  
"What?" said Rachel, her eyes scanning the sky, stopping when they spotted a light plane flying past, there was a big banner attached to the back of it.  
  
"Will you marry me Jasmine" Ross read out  
  
"How Romantic is that," said Rachel with a smile "Jasmine is probably lying on the beach down there, She's going to look up and see a message from the man she loves..That will be one marriage proposal she's never going to forget"  
  
"I don't think so," said Ross "Do you still remember when I proposed to you?"  
  
"Of course I do," said Rachel "We were at home, it was when Emma was 6 weeks old. I was sitting on the couch feeding the baby and listening to the radio when the announcer said, "Here's a song from Ross. He'd like to dedicate it to Rachel, the woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with" and All My Life came on.You got down on one knee in front of me and asked me to be your wife"  
  
"You remember it well," said Ross "I'm surprised"  
  
"How can I ever forget?" said Rachel "It was one of the most happiest days of my life"  
  
"We've been through a lot over the years haven't we?" said Ross "Relationship, Break ups, Relationship, Break up's, Marriage, Divorce, Baby's, Marriage again...It could go on and on"  
  
"I think we've done pretty well considering" said Rachel  
  
"I guess we have" said Ross "I love you so much"  
  
"I love you too" said Rachel, as she kissed him "Now let's go downstairs, I vaguely recall Joey saying something about Water skiing when you were in the Office"  
  
"Water skiing?" said Ross horrified "Really? I don't know if I'll be doing that"  
  
"Don't be a wuss" said Rachel grabbing his hand and pulling him down the stairs "Let's go"  
  
(Beach- Later on)  
  
Monica, Phoebe and Rachel were sitting on the sand watching Joey, Ross and Chandler all try to water ski. They were in hysterics.  
  
Emma, Jamie, Dayton and Jesse were all playing catch with a beach ball at the waters edge while Joshua was digging himself a huge hole next to Rachel.  
  
"Look at Chandler's face" said Monica, pointing at Chandler who was trying to stay actually standing up as the boat pulled him along at about 2 k's. "He looks like he's about to pee in his pants"  
  
"Well look at Ross's face" said Rachel with a laugh "He looks like he's about to throw up his lunch"  
  
"Has he even been on the water ski's yet?" asked Phoebe  
  
"No" said Rachel "And he won't either. He can be such a wuss sometimes"  
  
"Are you gonna have a go?" asked Monica "Or are you a "wuss" like Ross"  
  
"Me?" said Rachel "No way.it'll make my hair all knotty"  
  
"Gee, Not the hair" said Phoebe sarcastically  
  
"Shut up" said Rachel  
  
"Oh Joey's up now" said Pheeb's "Ten bucks says my man's better then both of your's put together"  
  
"Ha Ha" said Rachel "Oh, would that be Joey I can see right now, in the water with his legs in the air?"  
  
Phoebe pulled a face "Cancel the bet"  
  
Rachel laughed "I can see Ross swimming back to shore now"  
  
He cam running up the beach, looking like a drowned rat and plopped himself down next to Rachel "Hi Beautiful"  
  
"Well hello Handsome" said Phoebe  
  
"Well I was talking to Rachel but whatever," said Ross  
  
"Are you feeling ok?" asked Rachel "You looked a little green out there"  
  
Ross screwed up his face "Yeah I'm fine. That was actually the reason I didn't get out on the water ski's. I was feeling ill"  
  
Monica snorted "Sure"  
  
"It's true," said Ross  
  
"I know it's true," said Rachel  
  
Emma came running up, and bounced the ball of Ross's head "Do you wanna play with us Daddy? Jesse says he can throw better then me so you have to come tell him that he can't"  
  
"Not really right now Sweetie" said Ross "I'm talking to Mommy and Aunty Mon and Phoebe"  
  
Emma stuck out her bottom lip and put on her puppy dog eyes "Please Daddy?"  
  
Ross looked at Rachel who nodded as if to say "Go on"  
  
"Oh Ok" he said, standing up.  
  
He picked her up under his arm. Emma was giggling wildly as he ran over to where they were playing.  
  
Rachel was smiling as she watched him throwing the ball to each of the kids, chasing after Emma to grab the ball.  
  
"Could you be any happier?" asked Monica "That smile has been plastered to your face lately"  
  
"I know," said Rachel  
  
"It's great," said Phoebe "To see you guys all better again, back together as a family"  
  
"I feel great," said Rachel "It's like once I got here, I just forgot everything.It all just faded away"  
  
"Hawaiian Paradise's will do that to you" said Monica  
  
"I don't think I can get any happier," said Rachel  
  
"Really?" said Phoebe "We'll see"  
  
(Resort Pool Area - The Next Day)  
  
It was mid afternoon, nearly 2:30pm and Rachel, Phoebe and Monica were all reclining on beach beds beside the shallow pool, while the kids were in the water under the strict supervision of a Lifeguard. The heat coming off the sun was tremendous, it was sweltering. Taylah was sleeping peacefully in her capsule under an umbrella next to them.  
  
A waiter from the bar came over with 3 Margarita's on a tray "Here you go ladies"  
  
"Where did these come from?" asked Phoebe sitting up  
  
"Compliments of the Resort" said the Waiter  
  
Phoebe and Monica both took one but Rachel was hesitant "Not for me thanks"  
  
Monica and Phoebe looked at her strangely "Why aren't you having a drink?"  
  
"I'm on antibiotics," said Rachel "Can't drink when you're taking pills"  
  
"Ohhh" said Phoebe nodding her head "Right"  
  
"Can I get you something else then?" said the Waiter  
  
"Some pineapple juice would be great thanks," said Rachel, smiling up at the hunky Waiter  
  
"Not a problem" he said before walking off  
  
"Rach, these are amazing," said Monica, sipping her drink "You're missing out"  
  
Rachel lay back down; shading her eyes from the sun because her sunglasses weren't doing a very good job.Her eyes scanned the shallow end, looking for Emma and Joshua. She spotted Emma flapping about in the water at one side and Joshua sitting on the edge with his floaties on, watching Emma.  
  
"Where are my kids?" said Phoebe looking around, spotting them near Emma "They look like they're having so much fun"  
  
"They do don't they" said Monica "I'll admit, I'm having fun too"  
  
"Oh absolutely" said Phoebe, sitting back "This is the life"  
  
They both looked at Rachel who was silently adjusting her bikini, pulling the straps down to tan her shoulders  
  
"You're a little quiet," said Phoebe "What's up?"  
  
"Nothing" said Rachel "I'm just relaxing"  
  
"Silently" said Monica "You look like you are deep in thought"  
  
"I am" said Rachel  
  
"What's going on" said Phoebe "You can tell us Rachel"  
  
"It's nothing really" said Rachel "Ok it's something...."  
  
"Yeah..." said Monica, prompting her  
  
"I'm pregnant," said Rachel bluntly  
  
"What?" said Monica loudly "Are you serious?"  
  
"Yep" said Rachel nodding her head slowly "I'm serious"  
  
"Well that's great," said Phoebe  
  
"I guess it is," said Rachel "You know..."  
  
"Aren't you happy?" asked Monica "I see how you are around Taylah, you're baby mad"  
  
"I know," said Rachel "I'd love another baby but I'm not really sure it's ideal now. I mean Ross and I are still working on things, getting everything back on track plus Ross isn't working right now. We don't even have another bedroom for a Nursery..this definentely wasn't planned at all"  
  
"Sometimes good things come as surprises," said Monica "When did you find out?"  
  
"2 days before we left for here" said Rachel "I went to the doctors because I was feeling out of sorts..1 blood test and a sonogram later I was pregnant"  
  
"How far along are you?" asked Phoebe "If you know yet?"  
  
"Dr Long said about 6 weeks," said Rachel "It's early days still"  
  
"6 weeks.." said Phoebe, thinking hard "But 6 weeks ago..Ross wasn't with you 6 weeks ago"  
  
"WHAT?" said Monica  
  
"Yes he was" said Rachel defensively "It was that morning he came around after our disaster date, when he was taking the kids to the park...He gave me this massage, one thing led to another and we ended up making love"  
  
"Ok" said Phoebe "I'm just getting confused with my dates that's all. I didn't even know that happened"  
  
"Well it did," said Rachel "And now I'm pregnant"  
  
"Didn't you use a condom?" asked Monica "You're not on the pill or anything..Wait why aren't you on the pill?"  
  
"Because Ross and I were barely even kissing each other, let alone having sex for months before he left" said Rachel "It just wasn't necessary at that time..After everything that had happened, I didn't expect that we were going to end up in bed together, came right out of the blue and neither of us were thinking about protection, All we were thinking was how much we wanted to have sex"  
  
"Very smart" said Phoebe with a laugh "But who cares, I can't believe you're going to have another baby, I'm so happy for you Rach"  
  
"Me too" said Monica, leaning over and hugging Rachel "Have you told him yet?"  
  
"No" said Rachel "It's our anniversary in 2 days, I was going to tell him then"  
  
"Like when on your anniversary?" asked Phoebe "Morning, noon, night?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "Why?"  
  
"No reason" said Pheeb's "I know he's going to be so happy though"  
  
"He's going to be so excited," said Monica  
  
"I hope so," said Rachel  
  
"How come you didn't tell us before?" asked Monica  
  
"I don't know" said Rachel "Waiting for the right time I guess...I really hope that he's happy, I mean I think he will be"  
  
"Speak of the devil" said Phoebe, pointing over to Ross who was headed their way.  
  
"SShh" said Rachel "Hey Honey"  
  
"Hi" said Ross, sitting down next to her and kissing her "Getting some sun?"  
  
"Yeah" said Rachel  
  
"What have you guys been doing?" asked Monica "Where's my husband?"  
  
"Him and Joey are fishing off the pier," said Ross "Not really fishing, just dangling their lines in the water and not catching anything, drinking beer.You know how it is"  
  
Monica nodded "I do and I also know that Chandler isn't really the fishing type"  
  
Ross took Rachel's hand "I've got a surprise for you"  
  
"TODAY?" said Phoebe "Not today"  
  
Monica shoved her discreetly and Ross glared at her  
  
"What is it?" asked Rachel  
  
"You'll have to wait and see" said Ross "Pheeb's, Can you mind Em and Josh for awhile?"  
  
"Sure, they can come have some dinner with us" said Phoebe "Spend some quality time with their Aunt Pheeb's"  
  
Rachel stood up "Thank's Pheeb's"  
  
"No problems" said Phoebe "What is the Surprise Ross?"  
  
"If I say anything, It won't be a surprise now will it" said Ross "Think about it Phoebe"  
  
Rachel pulled on her skirt and grabbed her towel "I'll be back in a second"  
  
Ross watched her walk over to where Emma and Joshua were playing  
  
"Hows the plans going?" asked Monica  
  
"Great" said Ross "Everything is going smoothly, Mom, Dad, Sandra and Leonard are arriving tomorrow night, they're staying at another resort. The ceremony is going to be held under a white canopy on the beach, I've got bunches of White Lilies on order; I've got the Celebrant organised. Everything's good"  
  
"How are you going to get Rachel down to the beach?" asked Phoebe  
  
Ross looked down to where she was standing, giving Emma a big bear hug.  
  
"Actually, that's where you guys come into it" said Ross "I was hoping you guys could like lure her down there, tell her you're having some drinks on the beach or something. I'll already be down there with everyone else"  
  
"Sneaky" said Phoebe "We can do it can't we Mon?"  
  
"Sure" said Monica  
  
"She's coming back," said Ross quietly "Ready to go Sweetie?"  
  
"Sure am" said Rachel  
  
"Have fun" said Phoebe before yelling out to the kids to hop out of the pool.  
  
Ross and Rachel walked hand in hand, making their way past people relaxing by the pool and right down past all the Villa's and onto the Beach  
  
"Where are we going?" asked Rachel  
  
"Wait and see" said Ross "Look at this beach, I've never seen anything like it"  
  
"Me neither" said Rachel "This sure beats any beach I've ever been to back home"  
  
"I know," said Ross  
  
He pulled her closer, wrapping his arms around her as they made their way down the beach, getting further and further away from the Resort and people.  
  
Rachel could see cliffs in front of her and Ross stopped at the base of one "Here we go"  
  
Rachel looked up and then looked at Ross  
  
"Up the stairs" said Ross, pointing up to stairs that wound around the cliff  
  
"Are you serious?" asked Rachel "You know I'm scared of things like these"  
  
"I'm here to protect you," said Ross "Now if you want the surprise, you'll get your tiny butt up those stairs"  
  
Rachel pulled a face and headed up the stairs, Ross close behind her.  
  
5 minutes later, they reached the top of the Cliff and were standing under a Bamboo archway; a breathtaking view was to behind them.  
  
"Hibiscus Spa's!!" said Rachel, reading a sign "What's going on?"  
  
"We are having a 30 minute massage, a detoxifying Body Wrap and then you are having a Facial," said Ross "Surprise"  
  
"You are too good," said Rachel, wrapping her arms around him "Oh this is going to be so great"  
  
"Mr and Mrs Geller?" said a short Hawaiian Women  
  
"Yes," said Ross  
  
"Welcome to Hibiscus Spa's" she said, "If you'd like to follow me, we have your Bungalow waiting"  
  
"I'm so excited," said Rachel as they followed her past half a dozen small bungalows, eventually stopping at a larger one "I love being pampered"  
  
"I know," said Ross with a smile "That's why I arranged it"  
  
"If you would just like to take off your clothes to your bottom undergarments and lay down on the table, covering your self with the towels provided, Your Masseuse's will be with you shortly" said the Women  
  
"Thank you" said Rachel  
  
They entered the bungalow to see 2 Massage tables in the Centre; a small water feature was to one side, water trickling down, and making little splashy noises. Calming, Hawaiian Music was coming from a Stereo.  
  
"Isn't that beautiful" said Rachel, pointing at the water feature "Can we take it home?"  
  
"If you think we'll get it past the archway then sure" said Ross with a grin  
  
Rachel shrugged "Never mind, those tables look so comfortable"  
  
"Let's try one out," said Ross, laying down on one and pulling Rachel on top of him, kissing her  
  
"Are you crazy?" said Rachel giggling "Here?"  
  
"No, I'm just joking," said Ross "I don't want to be kicked off the Island...Get on your own table"  
  
They both stripped down, Rachel to her Bikini Bottoms and Ross to his Jocks, lying down on their respective tables.  
  
They lay in silence, relaxing when Rachel suddenly felt a drizzle of oil on her back and a pair of warm hands sliding down, massaging into her knots.  
  
She could see feet over at Ross's table too so she closed her eyes and relaxed, letting any troubles she had slowly drift away.  
  
(An hour later)  
  
Rachel opened her eyes; She was now lying on her back, her whole body covered in mud and wrapped up like a mummy.  
  
She tilted her head and could see Ross, looking the same on his table.  
  
Ruby, the woman who massaged Ross entered the bungalow  
  
"How are you going?" she asked cheerily "Nice and warm under there?"  
  
"Sweltering," said Rachel with a laugh "I can feel everything oozing out of my pores. It is soo relaxing"  
  
"That's the way it's supposed to feel," replied Ruby. She pointed over at Ross "Looks like your husband's asleep"  
  
"He probably is" said Rachel "He can fall asleep by just putting his head down"  
  
"Ohh" said Ruby "I'm going to unwrap you both now, and then I'll show you where you can get the mud off ok?"  
  
"Thankyou" said Rachel.  
  
Ruby unwrapped her, and she stood up shakily after lying down for so long. Every inch of her body, besides her face and where her bits where covered by her bikini was covered in a mud like substance, that was hardening as the air hit it.  
  
"Do I wake him up?" asked Ruby  
  
Rachel nodded and walked over to Ross's table where she kissed his lips gently.  
  
His eyes snapped open immediately "Hi"  
  
"Have a nice little nap did ya?" asked Rachel "Ruby's waiting to unravel you"  
  
Ross laughed "I have never been so relaxed in my entire life"  
  
"Good" said Rachel 'Go ahead Ruby"  
  
She unwrapped Ross and then pointed to a little door at the back of their bungalow "After you"  
  
They both walked out the door, which led into a little paved area; a high Bamboo fence surrounded it. In the middle of the area, a bubbling spa awaited them, 2 glasses and a bottle of wine next to it. A 2 head outdoor shower was also waiting for them, to clean the mud off before they got in the spa.  
  
"Can life get any better?" Rachel asked, looking at Ross  
  
Ruby laughed "Unwind and relax is the main message of Hibiscus Spa's. You've had your relaxing time, so now you can unwind"  
  
"This is so great," said Rachel  
  
"The Spa is yours for as long as you want," said Ruby "Be sure to rinse your mud off before you go in and hit the empty button on the side before you leave. You will be in complete Privacy"  
  
Ross laughed cheekily "We could take full advantage of that"  
  
Rachel hit him in the chest "Ssshh. Thankyou so much Ruby"  
  
"Yes thankyou" said Ross "That was a fantastic massage you gave me"  
  
"My pleasure" said Ruby, heading back inside the bungalow "Enjoy"  
  
"Boy are you going to get lucky tonight" said Rachel once the door closed "This has been the best afternoon"  
  
"See, I didn't do it so I'd get lucky" said Ross "I arranged it coz I knew you'd love it but what can I say..I love getting lucky"  
  
Rachel laughed and walked under the outdoor shower, turning it on so a burst of warm water came out, drenching her body. She watched all the mud slide off her body and go down the drain. Ross joined her underneath the showerhead to wash his body.  
  
Rachel walked over to the bubbling spa and sank her body into it, "Whoa, this is so warm."  
  
"Is it?" said Ross, turning off the shower and joining her "Oh It sure is"  
  
He sat down on one side and pulled Rachel over so she was sitting in front of him, her back touching his chest, relaxing against him. He poured to glasses of Champagne and handed on to her.  
  
"To Us" said Ross, clinking his glass with hers "I honestly think I am the most luckiest guy in the world to have you as my wife Rach. I thank my lucky stars every day when I wake up to see you lying next to me...My soul mate and I love you"  
  
"You're very sweet," said Rachel  
  
"Yeah?" said Ross  
  
Rachel nodded "And I think...that you might find yourself getting lucky right now"  
  
Ross looked up shocked "Here?"  
  
Rachel turned her body around so she was facing him "Here"  
  
"Right here?" asked Ross again "What if someone comes in?"  
  
"Ruby said we're in complete privacy," said Rachel in between kissing him teasingly. "Nobody's going to come in"  
  
"Isn't it an offence to fool around in public?' asked Ross "We're only separate from the other Bungalows by this fence"  
  
Rachel shrugged "I don't know..."  
  
She ran her hands down his chest under the water, stopping at his waistband "Just relax"  
  
"You..." began Ross but he was silenced by her lips "Are wicked"  
  
Rachel laughed, "That I already knew"  
  
She kissed him passionately; Ross was hesitant at first but soon threw away his inhibitions as they moulded into one, under the frothy, bubbling water.  
  
TBC - AN: Sorry this was really long. I just realized it's like 15 pages LOL. 


	11. You're still the one

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the songs in this fic  
  
Rated R for Sexual Scenes - This shouldn't be viewed by anyone under 16 years of age  
  
(September 25th..Ross and Rachel's Anniversary)  
  
Rachel woke up early. It was 6:00am & Ross was still sound asleep, His body curled around hers, His hand resting on her stomach, unaware of their little baby growing inside there.  
  
She got up quietly, throwing on a robe over her nightie and tiptoed down the staircase and into the kitchen quietly, stopping and looking into the room where Emma and Joshua were still sleeping, both snoring lightly just like their father.  
  
She downed a glass of Juice before heading back into the bedroom, where she climbed back into bed next to Ross.  
  
She propped herself up on her elbows and watched him as he slept. Never did she imagine, after the events of the past 2 months that she'd be lying here, in a luxurious Villa in Hawaii next to Ross, Never in her wildest dreams...  
  
She wondered what they were going to do to celebrate their anniversary; She was imagining a romantic dinner, just the two of them where she would break the news about the baby. She wondered what his reaction would be to the news, she didn't know but she hoped it would be a happy & excited one.  
  
Ross suddenly moved and his eyes opened, locking with hers...  
  
"Well good morning" said Rachel, smiling  
  
Ross stretched & yawned  
  
"Good morning to you too" he said sleepily  
  
He reached over and pulled her head down to his and he kissed her lips "Happy Anniversary"  
  
"Happy Anniversary to you" said Rachel "6 years, did you think we'd make it?"  
  
"I had my doubts" said Ross "Lately, I had my doubts"  
  
"Me too" said Rachel "I'm glad we're here though and that we made it"  
  
Ross pulled her down into his arms, so her head was resting on his chest, looking up at him.  
  
He touched her face before kissing her nose.  
  
"I love you so much" he said softly "And I promise never to hurt you again, Ever"  
  
"Is that a promise?" asked Rachel softly "You know how I feel about promises"  
  
"It is a promise," said Ross "But this is a promise that I intend to keep, a promise that I will never, ever break again. Tell me you have faith in me"  
  
Rachel paused for a second, as if in thought "I do...I do have faith in you"  
  
They lay, just staring at each other for a few moments before Ross glanced at the clock "How long do you think it'll be till Emma and Josh will be awake?"  
  
"I don't know," said Rachel "An hour & a half probably"  
  
"An hour and a half is a long time," said Ross with a smirk "Can you give me the best hour & a half of my life?"  
  
"Ummmmm, I don't know," said Rachel "Do you really think you deserve it?"  
  
"Oh I do," said Ross convincingly "I definitely do"  
  
Rachel giggled and rolled him over onto his back where she kissed his neck "You're just lucky that I love making love to you"  
  
He began to kiss her on the neck; her shoulders and chest until his lips met hers, Rachel grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him closer to her as their kisses became more passionate and intense.  
  
Ross pulled her nightie over her head and threw it on the bed and he felt Rachel's hands in his waistband, removing his boxers.  
  
"Wait" he said suddenly, moving his body out from under hers  
  
"What?" she asked, pulling herself up  
  
"We need some protection," said Ross "Crap, Where did I put those condoms?"  
  
"Oh it doesn't matter," said Rachel, pulling him down by the arm "Don't worry about it"  
  
"No but you're not on the pill" said Ross "I brought some, I think they're in the medicine bag in the kitchen"  
  
"Seriously, its fine" said Rachel "Come on, you've got me all hot now"  
  
"I'll be one second," said Ross, shuffling over to the edge of the bed "I'll just run to the kitchen and grab the bag"  
  
"It's not the right time anyway Ross" said Rachel "Now get your pasty white butt back into this bed so we can continue what we started"  
  
"Too late" said Ross "I'm already up"  
  
"Jesus Ross" said Rachel, looking at Ross who only had a shirt on "I would so laugh if you ran downstairs now and Monica or one of the others was in our kitchen"  
  
"Yeah, like they would be at 6:15 in the morning" said Ross. He paused for a second, thought about it and then located his boxers out from underneath the tangled bed sheets "Hold on"  
  
Rachel watched him run down the stairs and she had to laugh. He was such a goof ball, but she also had to wonder why he was so worried about them having protection, Was that a sign that he wouldn't be as happy as she thought with the news of this new baby, He didn't seem to be wanting to take any chances right now.  
  
He came bounding back up the stairs seconds later and jumped back onto the bed, chucking the condom on her chest "Here"  
  
Rachel threw it on the nightstand  
  
"Why are you so worried about protection?" asked Rachel as Ross took his boxers off and climbed back under the sheets, pulling her body against his "It hasn't bothered you before in the past"  
  
"I just don't want to take any chances," said Ross  
  
He started kissing her again as he ran his hands all over her body.  
  
"What, you mean a pregnancy?" asked Rachel, pulling her head away  
  
"I mean this isn't very good sex talk Rachel," said Ross  
  
"Seriously Ross, I want to know what you're thinking," said Rachel  
  
"I just don't want anything to happen when we haven't discussed it yet" said Ross "Another baby is something that we should discuss before it happens. You know, Can we afford it, Are we ready for another.you know all that stuff."  
  
"Too late now" Rachel thought to herself  
  
"Yeah I guess," she said out loud "Whatever"  
  
"Good" said Ross "Now where were we?"  
  
"Well things were going great until you decided to ruin the moment by running for a condom" said Rachel "And now I'm lying here naked, getting cold"  
  
"Ruin the moment!!!! What are you talking about?" said Ross  
  
"I'm kidding," said Rachel.  
  
She moved her hands down below Ross' waist "Come on Stud, Show me what you've got"  
  
Ross rolled on top of her and their bodies moulded into each other's perfectly as they became one, Ross completely forgetting about the condom after all that drama  
  
(Time Lapse)  
  
Rachel's eyes were closed and she gripped onto Ross' back tighter. She pulled his body closer to hers as he nearly sent her over the edge, it wouldn't be long until she was there and she knew Ross was holding out so he could put her before himself.  
  
He crushed his lips down on hers just as she reached her climax, crying out his name as she did. Ross reached his a moment later and his body collapsed on hers. His head was buried in her neck and she could feel his lips & hot breath on her neck & his chest was heaving as he tried to get his breath back.  
  
Rachel held on to him tightly, enjoying the feeling of them locked together. His lips moved slowly up her neck until they found hers. They savoured the moment for a bit longer, just letting their bodies touch.  
  
He moved off her body, so he was lying next to her, their legs entwined.  
  
They lay, looking deep into each other's eyes before Ross brushed her hair away from her face, his hand resting against her cheek, which he stroked softly.  
  
"I don't want to move from where I am right now," said Ross "I want to stay locked in this moment with you forever"  
  
"Me too," said Rachel softly "It's so perfect, us being here, what we just did. It all seems as if it's a dream, like I know I'm gonna wake up soon but I definitely don't want too"  
  
As if on cue, they heard 4 little feet pitter-pattering up the stairs, stopping at their closed bedroom door.  
  
"And now I wake up" said Rachel with a smile as she heard Emma & Josh whispering behind the door about wether or not they were awake yet.  
  
Ross leaned off the bed & grabbed his boxers, sliding them on just in the nick of time as the door opened & 2 heads popped around the doorframe.  
  
"Mommy" whispered Emma "Are you & Daddy awake?"  
  
"We are now," said Ross  
  
Emma and Josh ran in and climbed up on the bed  
  
"Mommy, Where's your nightie?" asked Emma, looking at her curiously  
  
Rachel looked down at herself and realised she only had the sheet covering her, pulled up past her breasts.  
  
"Oh" she said, lifting up the blanket, which was strewn across the bed "It's here somewhere"  
  
"Yeah but why aren't you wearing it?" asked Emma "What were you & Daddy doing in here?"  
  
"You know what Em" said Ross "Why don't we get you some breakfast"  
  
"Mommy I want Bacon" said Joshua "And Frosties"  
  
"Well you can have bacon and frosties then Sweetie," said Rachel "If you ask your Daddy nicely"  
  
"Daddy Please" said Joshua "Frosties?"  
  
"Of course" said Ross, climbing out of bed "Come on Little Man & Little Princess"  
  
He grabbed Emma and Joshua off the bed, each under one arm and placed them on the floor "I'll beat you to the kitchen"  
  
Emma and Joshua ran out the bedroom door and stampeded down the stairs, expecting Ross to be close behind them.  
  
Ross kneeled back on the bed and kissed Rachel "Happy Anniversary Honey"  
  
Rachel smiled "I love you"  
  
"I love you," said Ross "Now I better go feed the hungry kids ok"  
  
"Ok" said Rach "I'm gonna go have a long shower, Maybe when you've got Em & Josh breakfast, you could join me?"  
  
Ross grinned, "Again??"  
  
"Maybe" said Rachel with a mischievous look on her face  
  
"As if I could say No" said Ross "I'm not going to be the guy who said No to sex with Rachel Geller...I'm not crazy"  
  
He kissed her again before heading for the door "Give me 10 minutes ok..don't you go in there without me"  
  
"I won't" said Rachel with a laugh "Now get out of here and feed our children"  
  
Rachel watched him exit then climbed out of bed, lazily wrapping the sheet around her before she went over the floor to ceiling windows, She lifted up the blinds and the room was flooded with brightness..  
  
A beautiful blue sky faced her, the sun had obviously just risen and there wasn't a cloud in sight.  
  
She could see people already in the ocean, having their morning swim and joggers running up the beach, brightly coloured spots against pure white sand. Another cruise ship was sailing past, way out.  
  
Rachel smiled; a week on a beautiful Hawaiian Island was truly one of the best holidays she could ever have imagined. This past week had just been absolute heaven. It couldn't get any better then this.  
  
(Evening)  
  
Rachel still has no clues of anything. Her, Monica and Phoebe are relaxing in Ross and Rachel's Villa, Rachel thinks that Ross has taken Emma and Joshua for a swim when he is really down on the beach, with Emma and Josh perfecting everything.  
  
"How amazing has this vacation been" said Rachel, taking a sip of her drink "So relaxing and peaceful"  
  
"I know," said Pheeb's "Joey and I have hardly fought at all since we've been here, how great is that"  
  
"That's great" said Monica with a laugh.  
  
She checked her watch, Ross had told her to have Rachel on the beach at 6pm, and it was 5:00 pm now.  
  
"I gotta tell you, after the stressful 2 months that I've had, this was exactly what I needed," said Rachel "Chill out, spend some quality time with Ross, Get things going good, Spend some time with my babies, get a gorgeous tan"  
  
Monica nodded "Yeah...Hey, We should go out tonight, hit a few of those Hawaiian Bars, Have a few drinks"  
  
"Mon, Don't you think we're a bit old for clubs" said Rachel "Seriously? I'm not 25 anymore, Plus I'm an expectant mother..I shouldn't be hitting bars"  
  
"Come on, it'll be fun" said Monica "Don't you agree Phoebe?"  
  
Phoebe looked at Monica strangely "But we've got something on tonight REMEMBER"  
  
"I know Phoebe," said Monica  
  
"Oh right" said Phoebe, as she realised what Monica was doing "Yeah, we should so go out"  
  
"I wanted to be alone with Ross tonight, take advantage of where we are, Celebrate our 6th Anniversary" said Rachel  
  
"Ah he'll be fine with it," said Monica "Now are you coming with us? Coz we're going aren't we Pheeb's?"  
  
"Absolutely" said Phoebe "And so are you Rach, no questions asked"  
  
"No, I don't exactly feel up to it tonight" said Rachel "It's my Anniversary for crying out loud"  
  
"No questions asked Rachel," said Phoebe firmly "Alone time can be later, you're coming with us"  
  
"Yes" said Monica "And I think we should get ready now"  
  
"But I really..." began Rachel as Monica pulled her up by the arms "Into the bedroom, we're finding you something to wear"  
  
"I can walk on my own," said Rachel "Let go of my arms"  
  
"Sorry" said Monica, removing her hands "Let's see, what dresses did you bring?"  
  
"Don't ask her that" said Phoebe "This is Rachel we're talking about, She probably bought about 20"  
  
"HaHa" said Rachel "I bought 8 thankyou very much"  
  
"One for each day plus a spare" said Phoebe jokingly  
  
Rachel pulled a face  
  
"Well get em out" said Monica  
  
Rachel pulled out an assortment of dresses; Monica picked one up immediately "This is what you're wearing"  
  
It was a white strapless dress, just below the knee length; the bottom of it was cut on an angle, going downwards.  
  
" Mon, I'm not here to pick up," said Rachel  
  
"No that will look great," said Phoebe "Put it on"  
  
"Now?" said Rachel "The clubs won't be open till like 8"  
  
"Pre-drinks for me and Phoebe on the beach, Non alcoholic for you" said Monica "Now put the dress on"  
  
Rachel did as she was told and she looked fantastic  
  
"That looks even better then I pictured," said Phoebe "With your deep tan and blonde hair."  
  
"Now, about your hair" said Monica "I'm picturing a wavy, beachy sort of look"  
  
"Yes" said Phoebe "With a flower behind one ear"  
  
"Again, I'm not 25" interrupted Rachel  
  
"Oh be quiet," said Monica "At least you can still pass for 25"  
  
"That's true," said Rachel "I should count myself lucky"  
  
"You should," said Monica "But I don't really think a flower behind the ear is the go, Just have your hair out, slightly wavy, I know exactly what to do to get the look"  
  
"Yes," said Phoebe, nodding in agreement  
  
"Can I ask what the big deal is about tonight?" said Rachel "And I honestly wanted to spend some time alone with Ross tonight, it is our anniversary you know..you are wasting your time because I'm really not going with you"  
  
"Yes you are" said Monica firmly "Ross won't mind at all"  
  
"Yeah, we know this coz I spoke to him," said Phoebe "Yeah he's made plans with Joey & Chandler"  
  
"He what?" said Rachel "On our anniversary? You're joking right?"  
  
"Totally serious, they're going to play golf later or something" said Pheeb's "Pretty stupid time to go, when it's dark but you can't tell them anything"  
  
"What a jerk" said Rachel "It's our anniversary and he's going to play golf"  
  
"Relax" said Monica "I'm sure you already celebrated this morning didn't you?"  
  
"Well yeah" said Rachel. A smile spreading across her face as she remembered just how much celebrating they'd done that morning  
  
"Oh that good?" asked Phoebe  
  
"Oh yeah" said Rachel nodding "That was some good lovin this morning. God he sent me right over the edge.and then we were in the shower and he lifted me up and my god, I felt like I was.."  
  
" Enough!!!" said Monica, blocking her ears "That is wayyyy to much information, I really don't want to know about how my brother performs sexually"  
  
"Oh sorry" said Rachel "But still, I thought we were going to have a nice romantic dinner and I was going to tell him about the baby tonight"  
  
"Relax Rach," said Monica "We'll have a few drinks, be home by 10pm..The kids will be in bed and you'll be able to have a late dinner ok?"  
  
"Would you rather be sitting at home alone tonight while Ross plays golf?" asked Phoebe "I don't think so"  
  
"Golf!!! I can't believe it..He is such a Jerk," said Rachel "Now I'm definitely not putting out for him tonight"  
  
"Well by the sounds of it, He got his this morning anyways," said Monica  
  
Rachel pulled a face "If I had of known what his plans were for tonight, I would never have had sex with the jerk this morning"  
  
They were interrupted by a shrill cry coming from the bedroom; Monica looked at her watch "5:15pm, spot on time"  
  
"You're lucky she has a schedule Mon" said Rachel  
  
"I know," said Monica as she headed into the bedroom to get Taylah  
  
She returned a few seconds later and gave Rachel the crying baby and a bottle "Can you feed her while I get changed?"  
  
"Sure" said Rachel, taking her into her arms "Well what do you know, Stops crying as soon as Aunty Rach touches her"  
  
Monica laughed and went across to her and Chandler's Villa to get changed, leaving Phoebe and Rachel behind  
  
"What are you going to wear tonight Pheeb's?" asked Rachel  
  
"I don't know," said Phoebe "But I better go figure it out, I'll be back in 5 minutes"  
  
"Ok" said Rachel, gazing at Taylah, stroking her chubby cheeks as she gulped down her bottle. She was the most beautiful baby, the spitting image of Jamie as a baby.  
  
Rachel thought about the new Baby that was going to be in her arms in about 8 months. A baby that definitely wasn't planned, but definitely couldn't be called a mistake.  
  
She put the baby down on her blanket when she finished her bottle and got to work on her make-up.  
  
Rachel was absolutely fuming inside that Ross was spending their anniversary night with Joey & Chandler instead of her; She couldn't believe that he could be such a jerk, Especially as this was a special anniversary for them, A celebration of them forgetting the past and moving on with their lives together.  
  
Monica and Phoebe both returned dressed to the nines just as Rachel finished her make-up.  
  
"I'm so jealous" said Phoebe "Look at your tan, I sat on the beach for 2 hours yesterday and I just went red, Not brown.RED"  
  
"I'm just lucky I guess," said Rachel "Now about my hair.."  
  
"Sit down" commanded Monica "Phoebe, get me the brush"  
  
(Beach)  
  
Rachel, Phoebe and Monica were walking down towards the beach.The sun was just starting to set and the sky was streaked with red and orange colours, The sun looked like a big burning fireball.  
  
"Isn't that beautiful" said Rachel, stopping in her tracks  
  
"I know" Phoebe "We should move here, I could totally live here"  
  
"Oh me to" said Monica  
  
"There are so many good memories in that city, some bad memories but mostly good ones," said Rachel "I could never leave the city, It will always be my home"  
  
"You're right," said Monica, looking at her watch "Come on"  
  
"I don't understand why we're coming onto the beach," said Rachel "The bars are about a mile that way"  
  
"I just want to see something," said Monica, pulling her by the arm  
  
They reached the beach and walked east a little bit..Monica could faintly see flaming Tiki Torches ahead but Rachel still hadn't noticed  
  
"It's chilly tonight," said Rachel, rubbing her arms "Maybe I should go back and grab a jacket"  
  
"Here, I'll keep you warm" volunteered Phoebe, putting her arms around Rachel who recoiled slightly  
  
"Thanks Pheeb's but I'll be fine," she said  
  
Rachel stopped for a second, tipping sand out of her shoes and as she looked up, She noticed what was ahead "Hey, Look at that"  
  
"What?" said Phoebe, peering ahead  
  
"Someone must be getting married or something," said Rachel "Can you see up ahead?"  
  
"Oh yeah" said Monica  
  
"How romantic is that, I would have loved to get married on the beach in Hawaii at Sunset..She's a lucky girl whoever she is" said Rachel  
  
"Pretty lucky" said Monica, keeping on walking  
  
"Wait, We can't go that way now," said Rachel "I'll feel like I'm intruding if I walk past"  
  
"Sure we can," said Monica "We can go have a peek"  
  
"I'm not gonna go and gawk at someone's wedding ceremony" said Rachel "No way"  
  
"Seriously?" asked Phoebe "We won't go very close, just close enough to see her dress, and to check out the guy ok?"  
  
"Phoebe!!" said Rachel "Check out a groom to be? Shame on you"  
  
"Look but don't touch, that is mine and Joey's agreement" said Phoebe "Now move your ass Rachel...Come on Monica"  
  
They walked ahead leaving Rachel standing there with her hands on her hips. She eventually shook her head and caught up to them.  
  
They walked closer but still not close enough to make out the faces of the group of people who were standing there. Rachel could see a white canopy set up, Flaming Tiki torches led the way up a path of white sand, which was strewn with brightly coloured hibiscus petals.  
  
"Ok, We've seen now let's go" said Rachel  
  
She turned around and saw Monica and Phoebe, who were walking next to her seconds ago, had disappeared.  
  
"Mon" she whispered, looking around  
  
Suddenly Ross stepped out from behind a mound of sand "Rachel"  
  
Rachel stifled a scream as Ross scared the crap out of her..  
  
"Jesus Ross...What are you doing here?" she asked, "Where's Emma and Josh.Wait ..are you checking out the bride who's getting married too?  
  
"I am in fact," said Ross  
  
He handed her a White, Long stemmed Lily "And she's looking pretty good from where I'm standing"  
  
"EXCUSE ME" said Rachel loudly "I'm standing right here you know. Phoebe and Joey may have a "Look but don't touch" deal but let me tell you something mister, with your track record, we do not have a deal"  
  
"Sssshh" said Ross, taking her hand  
  
"Don't tell me to Ssshh" said Rachel "How's your form, It's our anniversary and you're making plans with Joey and Chandler...Don't be thinking you're getting lucky tonight Honey"  
  
"Really?" said Ross "Let me see if I can change your mind"  
  
He got down on one knee, still gripping her hand "Rachel, Will you join me tonight in a ceremony renewing our marriage vows, Pledging our love and commitment to each other once again?"  
  
"What?" asked Rachel, shocked  
  
She stared at him for a few seconds before repeating "...What??"  
  
Ross stood up and pulled her by the hand, up the beach.  
  
They walked up the path, wading threw the hibiscus petals and flowers until they were under the White Canopy.  
  
Rachel stared around her, as familiar faces began to take shape in the semi- darkness. She could see her Mom's face glowing behind the flame of one of the tiki torches, Jack Geller standing looking at her...Emma & Josh were standing next to each other, Emma had a flowery print dress on and was holding a bunch of Lilies, Josh was dressed like his Dad, with pants and an open collared blue shirt on.  
  
She was absolutely lost for words as she realised what was happening, Ross's "plans" with Joey and Chandler, Monica and Phoebe dragging her down to the beach.. It was all making sense.  
  
"Oh my god" she said softly "Wow"  
  
"Will you?" asked Ross  
  
"I...Of course I will," said Rachel, before kissing him  
  
She felt hot tears force their way out of her eyes and start to slide down her cheeks as she puled away & she saw the look of happiness spread across Ross's face.  
  
"Isn't it beautiful" whispered Judy Geller, leaning her head on Jack's shoulder  
  
"It sure is" said Jack "I would never have taken Ross back after what he did"  
  
"Oh Jack," said Judy, swatting him across the arm "That's your son you're talking about"  
  
"Well it's true," said Jack "Ross is lucky he's even standing here with her right now"  
  
"Friends & Family" began the Celebrant "We are gathered here tonight to witness Ross and Rachel pledge their love to one another once again in a Vow Renewal Ceremony. If I could first ask Ross to speak, with his Vows he wrote himself"  
  
Ross held Rachel's hand tightly and looked her straight in the eye.  
  
"Rachel, in the past I have taken you for granted. I have put others before you. I have made mistakes and done many things I'm not proud of and I have often been wrong. On the other hand, I have always loved you and stood by you. Words cannot describe how much you mean to me, you truly are my everything & I am here today to move forward with a renewed commitment to you, our love and our lives together. I pledge that from this day forward, you will be my number one priority. I promise to be there for you in all that life brings our way. It is because of you that I am here today and I vow to give you all that I am and all that I have for the rest of our lives together. This is my solemn promise"  
  
"Ross has spoken his vows, now it is your turn Rachel" said the Celebrant  
  
"If I was aware of this earlier" began Rachel "I would have been prepared with something better to say"  
  
Ross laughed "She never was good with words on the spot"  
  
"Do you want this?" asked the Celebrant, handing Rachel a gold book with some renewal vows in it  
  
"Thankyou" she said, taking the book from him.  
  
She quickly skimmed the pages and smiled as she found the passage she wanted to say.  
  
""Ross, it was 6 years ago that we first pledged our commitment to one another, but it seems like just yesterday that I was standing across from you, About to say my vows and commit myself to you forever. We have been through a lot together - laughter and tears, joy and sorrow - and through all those times, I can honestly say, I loved you every step of the way. Today, I want to renew those vows and again pledge my love and life to you. I am here to be your supporter, your confidant, and your best friend. You are my soul mate, my one & only. I have been blessed for the last 6 years and am thrilled that I get to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much"  
  
She handed the book back to the celebrant before she continued.  
  
"I honestly feel like because I am with you, I am a better person. I now know that no matter what life throws at us, we will be able to get through it, We've had so many obstacles along the way, but some how managed to get through them, That shows just how much we love each other, It shouldn't be any other way then this way. I also want to thank you for our three children, they're one of the reasons I get up every morning, and they're one of the last things I think about before I go to sleep at night, My life wouldn't the same without them in it and I thank god everyday for blessing us with these Angel's"  
  
"3?" whispered Joey to Chandler, doing a head count of Emma and Josh "They've only got 2"  
  
"Sshh" said Chandler  
  
"Three?" said Ross, looking at Em and Josh "You mean 2?"  
  
"No I mean 3" said Rachel.  
  
She pointed at Emma and Joshua "One, Two" and then touched her stomach "Three"  
  
A huge smile spread across Ross's face "Really?"  
  
"Really" said Rachel  
  
"Oh my god...Are you serious?" said Ross, his voice barely above a whisper. "We're having a baby?"  
  
Rachel nodded "In about 7 and a half months"  
  
He pulled Rachel close and kissed her "I thought that nothing could make this day any better then it already is but this news has just moved me higher up to cloud nine"  
  
Monica was smiling in the background; His reaction was everything she had hoped it to be...  
  
Jack slipped his arm around Judy, smiling widely. Another grandchild was excellent news and definitely unexpected!!  
  
Sandra Green was watching her daughter proudly; there was something about Rachel that stood her apart from the other Green girls. Rachel was the only Green daughter who was married with a family, the only Green girl who had grown up really. Sandra felt as if she could cry as she looked at Rachel, She hadn't seen her this happy for ages, Rachel couldn't stop smiling and looking at Ross. She glanced over to Leonard who was also beaming.  
  
"Ross, you have something you'd like to give Rachel?" asked the Celebrant  
  
"Yes" said Ross  
  
He bent down to Emma and she pulled something from her pocket, a flash of silver sparkled as she passed it to Ross and he stood up and grabbed Rachel's hand.  
  
He slid her old wedding ring off her finger, to her shock and passed it down to Emma.  
  
Rachel watched as Emma slipped it on her own finger, not worrying about the fact that it was about 10 sizes to big for her little fingers.  
  
Ross gently slid a gorgeous new white gold ring with 3 diamond stones set in it onto her finger, above her engagement ring.  
  
Rachel gasped as she saw it; it was the most beautiful ring she'd ever seen.  
  
"Rachel, this ring symbolizes our renewed love for each other, it symbolizes us standing her today, promising to love and cherish each other once again" said Ross "I felt that if we're moving on with our lives together, I want it to be with a clean slate, So I'm giving you this new ring, a ring that won't be tarnished with bad memories. And I also felt like you deserved it because you're so special to me & because I love you"  
  
"Oh Ross" said Rachel "Thankyou"  
  
"We have now witnessed Ross and Rachel's declarations to one another" said the Celebrant "Now, with their love and commitment renewed, I present to you Mr & Mrs Geller. Ross you may now kiss your wife again"  
  
Ross laughed and kissed Rachel's lips tenderly, She threw her arms around his neck and held him tightly. Emma and Joshua both wrapped their arms around Ross and Rachel's legs, Emma was giggling as she watched her Mommy and Daddy kiss  
  
Sandra, Leonard, Jack, Judy, Monica, Phoebe, Joey & Chandler all clapped as they kissed. Jamie, Dayton and Jesse all had disgusted looks on their faces as they watched their Aunt and Uncle kissing.  
  
They pulled apart and Ross held her hands, just looking at her  
  
Tears streamed from her eyes as she looked into Ross's eyes, the way she felt about him, No words could describe it.  
  
He smiled and kissed her again, before whispering in her ear "This is us forever, No more mistakes. I'm yours and only yours"  
  
Rachel smiled and whispered in his ear "Do you promise?"  
  
Ross didn't know what to say, he knew how she felt about Promises.  
  
He looked at her for a second "I Promise"  
  
Rachel knew that he meant it this time & Ross knew he wasn't going to break this one too.  
  
She realised at that moment that this was their new beginning, the beginning of their new life and them moving forward and leaving everything of the past behind. Their future lay ahead of them.  
  
(Music)  
  
When I first saw you, I saw love. And the first time you touched me, I felt love. And after all this time, you're still the one I love.  
  
Looks like we made it  
  
Look how far we've come my baby  
  
We mighta took the long way  
  
We knew we'd get there someday  
  
They said, "I bet they'll never make it"  
  
But just looks at as holding on  
  
We're still together, still going strong  
  
You're still the one I run to  
  
The one that I belong to  
  
You're still the one I want for life  
  
(You're still the one)  
  
You're still the one that I love  
  
The only one I dream of  
  
You're still the one I kiss goodnight  
  
Ain't nothing better  
  
We beat the odds together  
  
I'm glad we didn't listen  
  
Look at what we would be missing  
  
They said, "I'll bet they'll never make it"  
  
But just look at us holding on  
  
We're still together, still going strong  
  
(You're still the one)  
  
You're still the one I run to  
  
The one that I belong to  
  
You're still the one I want for life  
  
(You're still the one)  
  
You're still the one that I love  
  
The only one I dream of  
  
You're still the one I kiss goodnight  
  
So glad we made it, Look how far we've come my baby..  
  
(Flashforward - 8 months)  
  
Ross and Rachel's New Apartment...  
  
Early Morning - Master Bedroom  
  
Ross is sitting up in bed, Emma's on one side of him, sound asleep and Joshua on the other, also sound asleep and snoring his little head off.  
  
Rachel's on her side of the bed, breathing deeply, her eyes closed as she catches up on some much needed sleep. The tiny bundle in a purple romper suit that was nestled into her chest was also asleep; her chubby little face was red from all the crying she'd been doing all night.  
  
Ross was looking at his family, He had this beautiful wife Rachel, the most gorgeous person he had ever met in his whole life, one incredibly smart and also incredibly beautiful daughter Emma, Joshua who was just the funniest little boy you'd ever meet and now the newest member of the family, Isabella Grace, a shining little star at only 10 days old.  
  
He wondered if his life could get any more perfect, He doubted that it could.  
  
(Ross' POV- Kinda like his thoughts)  
  
If you took me back to about 12 months ago, there was no way in the world I could ever imagined I'd be here right now, lying in bed with my family. The day after that night, I thought I'd ruined everything forever, My family was shattered, broken apart because of my bad mistakes, I thought it was the end of everything. I don't know how I ever came to deserve this, why I deserved to be given another chance, I must have been really good in a past life or something. Things are finally back to the way they were, before everything started going crazy, before I became a workaholic, jerk of a husband who didn't give any more attention to his wife then he felt he absolutely had to. Now I don't let a day go by without telling Rachel I love her, without kissing her or hugging her. The amount of pride I feel when I wake up every morning and look at her, when I see those aquamarine eyes open and lock with mine, it is indescribable. There isn't a day that I don't thank god for what I have.  
  
What did I learn from all this? Never let one moment of craziness make a decision for you, a decision that you will live to regret. Because one mistake changes everything, one mistake can ruin the one thing that means the most to you, the love of your family. I learnt that finding what you could have definitely isn't worth losing what you've already got, when what you have is something so amazing. You take risks because you want to discover I guess, Discover if maybe there is something better out there for you, I discovered that there just isn't anyone else out there for me; Why I had to go and do something stupid to make myself realise that I'll never know. What I know is that I was born to love Rachel, She was meant for me and I was meant for her, we were meant to be together.  
  
I will never forgive myself for what I put Rachel and my kids through, I made a mistake and if I could go back to that night and take it all back I would, but I can't. What happened happened and I have to live with that. But what makes is easier is knowing that I have Rachel's forgiveness, I have her trust, I have her faith and I have her love. There is nothing that means more to me.  
  
THE END (  
  
AN: Well there's the last chapter, Sorry it took me so long to finish it and post it up, I wanted it to be believable and I wanted it to be perfect so I hope it is. Sorry if the ceremony isn't too good, I had no idea of how Renewal Ceremonies are performed but I did my best..I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.. 


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